New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity! - Page 120

freemonkey · #**2976** 10-11-2011, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by a Facebook friend

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere

Aaaackkk! Of course it leads somewhere! It probably leads somewhere very popular, probably somewhere even very profitable for someone. Otherwise, who would have cleared the fucking path?

Why don't you fucking people think before you regurgitate this asinine glurge? I would have more respect if you'd said something like "If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably leads to some nasty old tourist trap". "If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably leads somewhere very crowded".

Jeeez...!

P.S. Hope you don't get mad at me for commenting on your fb status

BrotherMan · #**2977** 10-11-2011, 07:30 PM

If you find a path with no obstacles, maybe you're the obstacle.

Adam · #**2978** 10-11-2011, 07:31 PM

If you find a path with no obstacles, you probably already cleared this part of the dungeon.

Adam · #**2979** 10-11-2011, 07:39 PM

Oh, and a rant. Yes, I suppose I can "help troubleshoot" "our" "connectivity" issue, which is actually your configuration issue. No, I am not going to look in my logs to see if I can "see anything else", because I have already sent you the java documentation (which I obtained using my mysterious and unique ability to peer into the mists of Google) explaining exactly what that error means, and you have obviously not yet corrected the problem on your side.

IT SURE IS A GOOD THING WE ARE SAVING ALL THIS TIME AND MONEY BY HIRING A DIFFERENT CONTRACTING FIRM FOR EACH PROJECT, EACH OF WHICH I HAVE TO TEACH HOW TO PERFORM BASIC TASKS IN JAVA DESPITE THE FACT THAT, AND I WANT TO STRESS THIS, I AM NOT A CHRIST-PUNCHING JAVA PROGRAMMER! My qualifications for your job are, essentially, that I have not been lobotomized and I know the URL for Google, and yet somehow I am still better at it than you are...

Ymir's blood · #**2980** 10-11-2011, 07:46 PM

If you find a path with no obstacles I'm still working on it.

Qingdai · #**2981** 10-11-2011, 07:54 PM

I want to know how I can become a Christ punching Java programmer. I bet there is one obstacle in that path, but I'm pretty confident I can punch through it.

lisarea · #**2982** 10-11-2011, 11:08 PM

OK. So.

I understand and sympathize with the frustration with people who ask questions and try to get other people to solve all their problems without putting even the slightest effort into figuring them out themselves. I really do.

However, you may in the future want to take into consideration the fact that the simple, easy to Google question you're responding to is going to be indexed. By Google. Such that, when someone DOES search for the answer to that question someday, it might turn up at the top of the search results complete with your shortened URL link to the LMGTFY for "How to use Google" as a response. And some subset of those people are at least briefly going to think you're a searchbombing motherfucker.

curses · #**2983** 10-12-2011, 11:48 PM

All photo equipment is due back the following day at 10AM unless otherwise stated. ALL photo equipment is due back the following day at 10AM unless otherwise stated. GODDAMIT ALL PHOTO EQUIPMENT IS DUE BACK THE FOLLOWING DAY AT 10AM UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED. Don't tell me it's stupid, I don't care. Don't rant at me, there's nothing I can do. But most of all don't tell me I'm lying because I will pull out the sheet YOU PERSONALLY SIGNED and read it back to you which will in turn make you look stupid in front of the long line you've just created by being a stupid asshole.

Dingfod · #**2984** 10-18-2011, 10:08 AM

Why do all the other drivers keep getting in my way, can't they see I'm trying to go somewhere?

freemonkey · #**2985** 10-21-2011, 05:23 AM

OhmygawdIfuckinghateyou. Granted, I barely know you, I've only met you twice, but you fucking annoy me to no end, and you also give me the creeps. I don't know yet what your fucking game is, only time will tell. I see you have gone and created a department and given yourself a fucking title in in my friend's one person creative business.

Oh, and I like the surprise attack you just pulled on me. Dick.

Pyrrho · #**2986** 10-22-2011, 01:43 AM

That is all.

lisarea · #**2987** 10-26-2011, 02:28 PM

So night before last, I didn't sleep for some reason. I just went out onto the couch and found some old Laws and Order and maybe managed to doze off for a total of about an hour. No huge deal. It happens.

So last night, I'm just getting ready to go to bed, and I hear a pop and we lose our power. Memo to myself: NO. JUST DO IT. PUT THE FLASHLIGHTS BACK WHERE THEY BELONG.

Which shouldn't be a big deal, except that I incorrectly guessed which things were on and which were off at the time of the outage, and I forgot that when the Chumby reboots, it plays a video; so at 3AM, the overhead light in the bedroom, the hall light, the Chumby, and the TV all turned back on, and I got up to go around and make all the things stop it, then I couldn't go back to sleep. As such, my two day sleep totals stand at somewhere around four or five hours, and I am going to be EXTREMELY BORED and EXTREMELY STUPID all day. Plus it's snowing p. good, so I'm pretty much stuck here all day long, and you assholes better be entertaining or else!

Swears: BOTTOM! POOP! STUPID!

SR71 · #**2988** 10-26-2011, 04:40 PM

Arguing on the internets with the Christ Punching (c) AGW deniers. It's like trying to swat at gnats with a piece of friggin' rebar. You finish some intense disquisition about the ENSO or something and they come back with, it's the sun, the volcano, cosmic radiation, the data is fudged, even if true it doesn't matter bla blah bla blah blah. Freekin' hold still so I can brother pumping anihilate you a second, OK? Some of the beaches.

Watser? · #**2989** 10-26-2011, 05:45 PM

Round them up and leave them on one of the sinking Pacific islands without a boat I say.

Sock Puppet · #**2990** 10-26-2011, 06:08 PM

You fucking lazy Swiss motherfuckers, why can't you send your fucking contract on time? Now I actually have to figure out how to write these goddamned weird-assed, nonstandard delivery terms rather than just look at what you wrote and say how much it sucks. Lazy pusbuckets. :shakesak:

SR71 · #**2991** 10-26-2011, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SR71

Arguing on the internets with the Christ Punching (c) AGW deniers. It's like trying to swat at gnats with a piece of friggin' rebar. You finish some intense disquisition about the ENSO or something and they come back with, it's the sun, the volcano, cosmic radiation, the data is fudged, even if true it doesn't matter bla blah bla blah blah. Freekin' hold still so I can brother pumping anihilate you a second, OK? Some of the beaches.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Watser?

Round them up and leave them on one of the sinking Pacific islands without a boat I say.

Sounds like the ideal solution to me. :goodpost:

lisarea · #**2992** 10-26-2011, 08:33 PM

OK, BUTTMUNCHES. Right after I poasted to complain, the power went out AGAIN.

I had to "spend time with my family" like some fucking dork! For hours and hours and hours! I am now CHARGING ALL THE THINGS for the next time it goes out.

Oh, and also, TLM was out walking, and a car lost control and missed him by a couple of feet.

And it's still snowing, and it's that really heavy wet snow, plus the trees all still have leaves, so it's probably going to keep sucking for a while.

Gonzo · #**2993** 10-26-2011, 08:37 PM

I got to spend time with my family do to lack of electricity a few weeks ago. Good times.

Sock Puppet · #**2994** 10-26-2011, 09:09 PM

So, further to the weird-assed, nonstandard delivery terms. Since the Swiss Family Motherfuckers couldn't get their shit together to write a contract, I had to do it (seller usually writes; do you yodeling yahoos want our fucking money or not? We're not buying the holes in your goddamned cheese, ferfucksake).

So, for those of you who have the good sense not to get involved in marine shipping terms:

Free on Board (FOB) means the Buyer uses its own damned vessel to pick up the Seller's shit, usually from a dock. Delivered Ex Ship (DES) means the Seller delivers its shit with the Seller's stupid-assed vessel to the Buyer, usually to a dock. You work out which of these, or some other dumbassed thing defined in Incoterms (follow that link at your peril, it's toxic levels of boring), when you make your deal, because it affects all sorts of shit, like how you measure how much shit you got, who pays whom if there's a delay (that's called demurrage), whatevs.

Well, my beloved, uncommunicative trader decided to make a special arrangement, known as "lighterage," which means they don't need no stinkin' dock. They transfer the shit from one anchored vessel to the other, somewhere out on the high seas while Davy Jones watches from below, hoping some poor bastard drowns in the process (that is, Davy hopes; I doubt the Buyer or Seller want any bloodshed, but you never know).

Well, you still have to determine the terms of title transfer, usually one of the two I so thoughtfully outlined above, FOB or DES (there are other possibilities, but fuck you copper I ain't spillin'). So what does my beloved trader, God's Special Creature, do? He writes "FOB ex ship." This is NOT A THING, godfuckingdammitshitJesusballs.

I saved the IM conversation with G'sSC (after he finally started responding, and with ridiculously long gaps in between my questions and responses while I was already late for a fucking meeting), and it's like 25 lines long because I have to keep clarifying his dumbassed answers.

So in summary, "ex ship" just means it comes from a ship ( :derp:

) and it's really FOB but not really really, my trader sucks, the Swiss are assholes, and I'm still Beer Minus 3 Hours and counting. :killme:

JoeP · #**2995** 10-26-2011, 09:14 PM

Qingdai · #**2996** 10-26-2011, 11:19 PM

Hah! Sock works in shipping! I totally know how to get him next time, my family is in longshoring. How do you feel about a really long turn around time? Perhaps some cargo dropped in the drink?

Doctor X · #**2997** 10-27-2011, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SR71

Arguing on the internets with the Christ Punching (c) AGW deniers.

I ran into two Creatards--"Behe is a respected biologist!!1!"--an Aliens-are-Visiting-Us-Creatards, and a 911 Islamic Tw00fer--you just know "the Jews" are involved as will be revealed by the Occupy Movement . . . I kid you not--all in all a rather sordid day on the interwebs.

--J.D.

Angakuk · #**2998** 10-27-2011, 05:00 AM

You are known by the company you keep.

Stormlight · #**2999** 10-27-2011, 06:49 AM

Sock Puppet · #**3000** 10-27-2011, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qingdai

Hah! Sock works in shipping! I totally know how to get him next time, my family is in longshoring. How do you feel about a really long turn around time? Perhaps some cargo dropped in the drink?

Nuh-UH!

I work in trading (writing contracts to make sure the dumbassed traders get to keep the money they make). I just hafta put shipping terms in the marine contracts. Y'all drop all the shit y'all want, my contract just sits back and laughs and says, "That's not covered in your Force Majeure clause, LOOOOOOSERS!!!" If I akshully worked in shipping I might understand this shit better. Our shipping department has to work out all the crap about how to move their li'l toy boats around. :ship: