New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

[Angakuk]

It is the indisputable right of the self-righteous to be bossy, insulting, rude and condescending. Just ask mickthinks.

[mickthinks]

It is the indisputable right of the self-righteous to be bossy, insulting, rude and condescending.

YouTube - "Then I see his penis...

Just ask lisarea.

[curses]

Oh dear god not in this thread too.

[Ensign Steve]

Originally Posted by lisarea

Turns out that someone from change.org wants me to stop being a fat, self centered, pieheaded shopoholic American for five or six minutes

Ooh, looks like they touched a nerve.

[lisarea]

HEY NOW, I was just kind of tired and irritable after all of the Black Friday Stampedes of Savings!

[mickthinks]

Originally Posted by curses

Oh dear god not in this thread too.

This is as good a thread as any other for Angakuk to post one of his fatuous comments and garner an appropriate response. If you have an objection to either of us posting here, I'm curious to hear it.

[Adam]

At what point can I tell a user, "No, sorry, you are not yet ready for the responsibility of calling our web services. Get back to me once you've managed to feed your puppy and clean up after him every day for a whole year, and then we'll talk." instead of "Oh, let me look at my log and see if I can divine from the error messages therein what kind of bizarre mistake you've made in your borderline retarded attempts at application development today."?

[mickthinks]

Originally Posted by Angakuk

It is the indisputable right of the self-righteous self-satisfied to be bossy, insulting, rude and condescending. Just ask mickthinks Adam.

I think Ang's really onto something here.

[Sock Puppet]

This thread survived a godfry rageout. It can survive a mickbutthurt.

[mickthinks]

Postmodern myths - No. 94 Criticism of an act can be discounted when it is made by whomever was the target of the act.

LOL

[Watser?]

speaking of godfry, where is Chuck these days?

[Qingdai]

Either he hates us or he's trying to pass his classes.

[Watser?]

Disgusting!

[Naru]

The Second Coming of the Chuck will occur when mick rules FF, in accordance with Prophecy.

[Angakuk]

Originally Posted by mickthinks

This is as good a thread as any other for Angakuk to post one of his fatuous comments and garner an appropriate response. If you have an objection to either of us posting here, I'm curious to hear it.

[Dingfod]

If GE Money wants my money, they need to fix their fucking website. It doesn't recognize the IP number of my new computer, so it shows me the number I do have and asks me if I want it to remember the number. So, I click Yes. PROCESSING ERROR HAS OCCURRED, please try again. So, I do, about forty-seven times, on three different days, same result. I then come up with the brilliant idea of calling their customer service number, despite the admonishment in writing that customer service representatives cannot change or reset passwords. I innocently thought they might be able to patch me through or give me the phone number for technical assistance. But Raj wasn't not able to do that. He insisted there was nothing wrong with their website, that I need to contact my ISP to correct the problem. *dingfod hangs up on Raj at this point* What do I do then? I go through all the steps again, except I click on No. PROCESSING ERROR HAS OCCURRED. So, the due date has come and gone and they are calling, with an auto-dialer, about fifty times a day, wanting their stupid $15 payment. I finally relent, and pay the past due payment over the phone. Fucking technology, how does it work?

[Adam]

Hello, external vendor.

Remember a couple three weeks ago when you delivered that web service and our users tested it and they were all "OH NOES! DOES NOT WORK!" and I looked into it and discovered that you were requiring SOAP 1.2 whereas internally we all use SOAP1.1 by default, so I asked you if you were ABSOLUTELY SURE it needed to be SOAP 1.2, and you said yes, so I had all our users switch to 1.2 when and only when they called your service? Remember that? I hope so, because otherwise, you will have a difficult time picturing the face melting rage I am currently experiencing. You see, our users reported an issue with the new version of your service today. Upon investigation, it turns out that their requests are SOAP 1.2 and you have mysteriously ALTERED YOUR SERVICE TO USE SOAP 1.1 WITHOUT TELLING ME, YOU USELESS OVERPAID BAGS OF MONKEY SHIT!

I'm so fucking glad we've outsourced so much of our development and become such an efficient and productive juggernaut of stupidity.

I'm off to tell everyone to switch back!
Love and kisses!
Adem




Oh, and note to mick: I'm very sorry that it offends your sense of propriety when I say mean things about the elementary mistakes made by the very highly paid vendors to whom we have outsourced many of our formerly internal functions because they are so much better and more efficient at them. I had, apparently mistakenly, assumed that part of being better and more efficient was not making repeated elementary mistakes. As always, I will make every reasonable effort to modify my behavior to fit the arbitrary and unwritten social mores you pretend to subscribe to when you see the opportunity to wag your finger.

[Pyrrho]

Dear account team:

As you requested, I am trying to design a user interface based on the sketches you gave me that were drawn by a shaky hand using a fine point blue pen on blue paper.

Although I admit that I embellished and replaced your scrawls with professional-quality graphics, I gave you what you asked for. I realize that designs must change as we develop the project, but we are on our fourth revision of the opening screen and the client hasn't seen it yet, and we have a few dozen screens to go. We usually do not develop comps for every frame of the project, as that tends to use up the time we need for actually making the actual graphics for the application, not to mention the programming which is a minor but significant part of the process.

I understand now that when you asked for dropdown menus you didn't really mean dropdown menus. I understand that you want the navigation to be a window with scrolling text, but this is a touch screen application. Navigation elements have to be large enough to touch. Please explain to me how the user is supposed to accurately select 6 point type using their finger. I'm sure you remember why we abandoned that approach when we tested it the last time--people had trouble picking the correct line of type because the touch screen element "read" their fingertips as an area somewhat larger than the tip of an arrow cursor. Persistence pays off, but making people work really hard to get information is kind of counterproductive to our goals for this project.

I accept the fact that any given design element you asked for might have to be removed, but why did you have me delete all of them and have me replace them with a block of text? We need to show the client more than the title and a couple of buttons.

I realize that you expect iPhone-style scrolling and multitouch. I can give you that, but not in graphics that are printed on a sheet of 11x17 paper. Plus, in order for the user to scroll the graphics, we need to have graphics to scroll. You asked me to delete all of them, remember?

I understand that you want the interface to be intuitive. "Click Here =>" is not intuitive.

Thank you for sketching an entire set of screens for me on half sheets of yellow paper. Thank you for folding the set of screens into a nice little booklet. Thank you for stapling it so badly that my fingers got stabbed by the bent and twisted staples. Could you possibly draw any smaller? I can still read it. Also thank you for telling me to ignore all that for now. I suppose storyboards really are for sissies.

Thank you for indicating that "When you click here, you go to A. When you click here, you go to B," and so on throughout the alphabet--you have spared me the task of developing a wireframe diagram. We certainly would not want anyone to make sense of this thing. Thank you for assuring me that this will make it easier for me to code. I realize that you don't have the slightest idea regarding what language I will use to program this project, but I admire your imaginative spirit. Thank you for writing, "We need another level here," on the hardcopy. I assume you refer to a chapter in Dante's Inferno.

I am charmed by the magical quality of the graphics you have designed in PowerPoint. I would never have thought of using WingDing glyphs of a radar dish as bullets. I realize that PowerPoint is a wonderful playground that lets you make everything you touch look like shiny sugar candy, and I admire the purple/green/orange/blue/red gradient you found in there along with the double-wide bevels and reflection effects. What a pity the client's branding guidelines specifically forbid bevels and gradients in their logo. I know, it's their loss.

Although I am wondering why you are attempting to design the entire application without including me in any of the discussions or any of the meetings, especially considering that none of you have the slightest qualification to play around as graphic designers or as programmers of interactive applications, and have absolutely no idea about what I have to do to make any of the graphics or how to make the application work in such a way as to be actually usable, I look forward to your Monday revisions with anticipation of more astounding, amazing, jaw-dropping, blow-my-socks-off works of creative genius issuing from your office.

[mickthinks]

Originally Posted by Adam

As always, I will make every reasonable effort to modify my behavior to fit the arbitrary and unwritten social mores you pretend to subscribe to when you see the opportunity to wag your finger.

Wow, receiving the gentlest cristicism sure makes you bitter! LOL

I'm not wagging any of my fingers, I'm just observing the double-standard that's in play here.

[Angakuk]

Adam, mick is absolutely correct. Both you and Pyrrho demonstrate an extraordinary degree of self-satisfied loathing for those who fail to measure up to the impossible standards you set, not to mention your extreme sensitivity to constructive criticism. You really out to be ashamed of yourselves. Please try to do better in the future. If not for yourselves, then for the sake of social justice. Think of the children and how badly their lives are being warped by the examples you set with your heinous behavior.

I wag my finger at you.

[mickthinks]

No, Ang, Adam's is a very ordinary degree of self-righteous condescension and no children or animals have been harmed in the production.

[Angakuk]

The degree of self-satisfied condescension exhibited by Adam and Pyrrho may well be only ordinary (the "extraordinary" was most likely a bit of hyperbole on my part and I am, at this very moment, slapping myself in the face for that inexcusable lapse) but the very fact of its ordinariness makes the behaviour all the more heinous and frightening in its implications. While it may also be true that no children have been harmed yet, that such harm will ensue, if this behaviour is not checked, is absolutely inevitable. Your charitable attempt to sugar-coat their execrable behaviour, while laudable in its intent, is simply going to encourage more such behaviour and exponentially increase the amount of social damage that behaviour will wreak.

Please mick, for the sake of the children, do not temper your expression of justly deserved moral opprobrium with misplaced and undeserved pity.

[mickthinks]

... the "extraordinary" was most likely a bit of hyperbole on my part and I am, at this very moment, slapping myself in the face for that inexcusable lapse ...

No you aren't, Ang.

You are using hyperbole to set up a straw man, because you want to defend Adam against your criticism of self-righteous insults and condescension.

[Angakuk]

Certain that you would challenge that statement, I did indeed slap myself in the face as I typed those words. Once again you display your own arrogance by claiming knowledge that you cannot possibly possess. Such arrogant claims do little to advance social justice in the forum.

[mickthinks]

I don't believe you slapped yourself in the face in order to save face, but others may.