Alzheimers and the Elderly - Page 4

Dingfod · #76 02-01-2009, 10:20 PM

Petra, from what you've said here before Lyn is not even your relative. Let Lyn's relatives take care of her, and if not them, the government. She's not your responsibility.

Crumb · #77 02-01-2009, 11:20 PM

Listen to the skunk, she is wise.

:huggle:

wildernesse · #78 02-02-2009, 01:21 AM

Petra,

You have done a good thing by taking care of Lyn for more than a year. It is more than many friends and family would do. It is enough. For anyone who says otherwise, ask them where they have been in the last year +.

I can't imagine how difficult this situation is for you, but you have done your part and more than that. It is someone else's turn now.

:huggle:

Petra · #79 02-02-2009, 08:06 AM

Thank you, guys.

I started the day with a major meltdown. Sobs from way down in my gut and hyperventilating and vomiting, I got myself that worked up, and couldn't face Lyn, though I did face the rest home. And it's over now. The clinical manager is putting through an emergency assessment for Lyn to be placed permanently in the home. I still need to do some things to tie up loose ends, but she is not with me - she is in proper care (and giving them all a run for their money during her agitated sundowning time each day).

I feel emotionally exhausted and it's been a hell of a day. But it's over, and I'm relieved. I shall never speak of this time again, I promise.

Thank you for helping me get through it. I can now look forward to a new dawn - groundhog day is done.

And now I must go sleep.

JoeP · #80 02-02-2009, 09:18 AM

*relief*
*applauds*
*hugs*

LadyShea · #81 02-02-2009, 03:00 PM

I am glad the clinic is doing the assessment and Lyn can receive good care...but not by you.

Giving up your life for hers never should have been on the table, and your being suicidal and vomiting from stress just proves it. Lyn may not like professional care, but obviously needs it, and is not in a position to understand her own impact on your lives.

Before Alzheimers, was she the type that would have wanted to be a burden on you and cause you this much pain? If not, then you are honoring who she was when she was herself...ya know? That's a good thing. I hope anyone who knows me does that for me if I become incapacitated.

Take care of you lovely lady.

vremya · #82 02-02-2009, 03:26 PM

I'm so glad Lyn is going to get the care she needs, and you're going to have your life back. (You really had me worried, for a bit).

Leesifer · #83 02-02-2009, 03:34 PM

That is good news, Petra.
:unglomp:

yguy · #84 02-02-2009, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Petra

I know I should have listened,

Yes, but not so much to any particular person or persons.

Quote:

but you've no idea of the pressure I was under to take this on. I was getting it from all sides and I yielded

At least now you have a little space to reflect on why you did that.

LadyShea · #85 02-02-2009, 05:38 PM

Quote:

I know I should have listened, but you've no idea of the pressure I was under to take this on. I was getting it from all sides and I yielded and tried to make the most of it and keep a positive mental attitude about it and try to please everyone by doing "the right thing"

Pressure from whom? How on Earth were you the one chosen for this unbelievably burdensome responsibility? I would have a chit chat with "all sides". Sounds to me like multiple people were passing the buck.

wei yau · #86 02-02-2009, 05:49 PM

Alls I can say is I'm glad for you, Petra.

mickthinks · #87 02-17-2009, 03:11 PM

John Suchet understands. BBC NEWS | Gone from 'a lover to a carer'

I promised myself after the diagnosis, 'Right, John, you will be an understanding husband - you will love and cherish your wife'. Life isn't that simple.

Cliche Guevara · #88 08-10-2013, 01:59 PM

Lyn passed away on October 29th, 2012. It was a privilege to be by her side as she drew her last breath.

I visited with her every month while she was in the secure dementia wing, and then weekly after she had been moved into the hospital wing, bedridden, after suffering a stroke. In the last days I visited daily and, having so little to say anymore, but being encouraged by staff to keep talking to her, I decided to take my book of essential NZ poems and read them to her. The weekend just prior to her death, I felt comfortable staying half an hour to an hour and then going. But on that Monday, after work, I knew that she was going to die that night, so I stayed and read to her till she was gone. My little joke with her was that I had to bore her to death in the end. lol.

Goodbye, Lyn - hope Lochie Doggy is taking good care of you, and you of him.

<3

livius drusus · #89 08-10-2013, 09:42 PM

That's really lovely. You're a good friend and a caring person, Pets. I'm glad you were with her at the end. :hug:

davidm · #90 08-11-2013, 12:32 AM

Ah, Petra, long time no virtually see. Your post jogs my memory. I recall that several years ago, in FF chat, you offered to send me Lyn in a cardboard box with air holes in it as a Secret Santa gift. :yup:

How the time goes by. "The days run away like wild horses over the hills" -- Bukowski

Hope all is well with you and your daughter, who must be in adulthood by now. You are a wonderful person :wave:

Sorry for your loss.

Cliche Guevara · #91 08-11-2013, 07:34 AM

Thanks, guys. You were my rock through the darkest days of that particular journey. You kept me buoyant when I was sinking. Thank you.

Crumb · #92 08-15-2013, 07:47 PM

That was great of you CG. :huggle: