New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

[specious_reasons]

Originally Posted by ceptimus

One of my Windows PCs got stuck in a loop installing updates. When I powered it down it said 'don't switch off - installing updates.' Then the next time I powered it on it would say after a while, 'Failure configuring Windows Updates - reverting changes' then reboot a few times.

So it was still usable but just added about 5 minutes to each power up and power down phase.

I've been trying to fix it for days, and am now in the process of manually installing all the updates, one at a time with reboots after each. For every manual reboot, the PC usually reboots itself automatically another 5 times or so.

However, I do seem to be making progress, with only 3 'important' updates left on the list now.

Normal swears are insufficient to convey my feelings about this, so I shall have to be content with just the one mega-swear: Microsoft.

Sounds familiar

[ImGod]

Microsoft's FuckMeUpdate process. Gotta love it.

I make it so I have to look for, look at, and initiate the updates. That normally works best as I can control what's going on, and know if the machine worked prior to but doesn't work after it that the MFMUpdate was the cause.

However, I have had several "critical" updates that fail miserably when allowing them to proceed and found the only way to make the critical update succeed splendiforously is to change to automatic updating at 2am and leave my PC on overnight.

Then I reset the "Yes Please Update my OS without me knowing" checkbox back to "Fuck you Microsoft" and get that unhappy looking red notification thingy in the taskbar when I'm not up to date.

I guess some critical Microsoft updates must be done only in the dead of night while nobody is looking.

[Pyrrho]

Well, I was entertained today by Adobe Acrobat updates which deactivated all the fonts I had enabled via Universal Type Server. Why Acrobat needed to do that for is beyond me.

[Crumb]

I hate adobe updates. They seem to update Acrobat like every week and every time it makes itself my default pdf viewer even though I DO NOT WANT THAT. It never asks me though...

Oh and codswallop!

[Ymir's blood]

The flash player updates always want to install some toolbar.

ETA toolbar!

[Janet]

The stupid fucking fucks of the Detroit Library Board reinstated my asshole former boss. In the Spring, four of them voted not to extend her contract. Then three of them voted to suspend her, but the other four acted like fucking infants and refused to attend any meetings to ratify the suspension with a full vote, despite being told by their boss to do their jobs or resign. So now, those four idiots have voted to extend her contract for a year and give her a raise! And naturally, the three who want her out didn't bother to show up for that meeting.

I am completely baffled at how this woman manages to snow people into think she's competent. Not only is she completely incompetent, she's flat out toxic. We still haven't recovered from the shit she did here, not least because several of our administrators were taken in by her and still call her for advice. Why the fuck can't people see through that bitch?

[Ymir's blood]

Motherfucking piece of fucking shit! Why the hell is sleep mode enabled by default on Windows and why the fuck doesn't it recognize a download is ongoing? I brought the new computer home at lunch and installed Steam and started the Skyrim download, then went back to work. I get home and the computer is asleep and the download paused at 19%.

What the hell kind of moron programs this shit? Seriously? I can understand the value of a computer going to sleep, I just don't use it. Either the computer is periodically in use (I'm at home and awake) or it's turned off. So the sleep mode is worthless. But whatever. For others it might be useful. Still, it ought to recognize that activity is going on and not go to sleep. Motherfuckers. Now the download is still ongoing so I can't do any restarts necessary for the tweaking I always do on Windows.

Bugger fuck shit donkey cock bastard.

[ImGod]

You said Donkey without the hyphen to tie it to cock. Making your cursing sound like a list of farm animals. I'm going to have to ask you to stop using language like that before this thread turns into some G rated afterschool special.

On top of it, words like "Motherfucking piece of fucking shit!" and "Windows" are redundant.

[Ymir's blood]

[Pyrrho]

http://twitpic.com/ao04tm/full

Hmm, no reasonable embedding option.

[lisarea]

I am now officially mad at that lady who keeps giving out my email address. I was patient at first, and contacted her friends and everything asking them to let her know that I am getting her important emails and stuff, but she's still doing it. I am getting weird promotional shit and her loathsome child's fantasy football and scouting reminders and stuff too.

So next time I get crap about a job interview or something, I'll just email them back and tell them not to hire this person who doesn't even know her own email address.

Because I am p. sure it's Lees.

Also my stupid homeowners insurance just sent me some stupid spam thing that's all like, "School's Back – Take a Refresher Course in Safety," and it just tweaked me the wrong way so I'm a bit unreasonably angry about that too. Fuck school! Fuck safety! Fuck insurance's stupid face! Fuck!

[lisarea]

aaaaaannd now that odious child has signed up on some shitty Disney website with my email address.

They do have a link in the email for if this is the wrong email address, but a) you have to unblock everything to even get to the page, b) it has some brokeassed script that hangs forever, and c) TO UNSUBSCRIBE YOU HAVE TO SIGN INTO THE ACCOUNT. It's NOT MY FUCKING ACCOUNT. THAT'S WHAT I ALREADY TOLD YOU.

I sent them such a terse email, I tell you.

BTW, I changed his email address on his stupid fantasy footy site to example@example.com.

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

I keep getting emails for an older Jewish woman in Boston. It's not constant - mostly from her friends and Temple. But grrrrg.

[Janet]

Some fucking idiot keeps posting on the library's Facebook page to ask what time we close. The hours are posted on the damn page and the last time she asked I gave her the hours for the week, not just that day. How can she be so damn stupid!? The effort to be professional and not scream at her is overwhelming. I feel like I should get a raise just for dealing with her shit in a calm manner.

[Angakuk]

Is it possible that peacegirl is one of your library patrons?

[Demimonde]

Oh my fucking GOD! You call us out at ten o'clock on a Friday with an EMERGENCY. Which is your maid/nanny called in sick because of being assaulted. You freak the fuck out because she and her husband want to come at 10 PM, on a Friday to "explain" what happened. It is nothing as far as you are concerned. I worry she is getting the stuffing beaten out of her by her SO.

I rush the fuck over with my husband to be back up, because you are afraid. Seriously afraid and wanting to talk to the cops. After I wait for two hours while you "talk," you throw me the fuck out of your house. My best friend throws me out of her house. After I interrupted my Friday night with my lover to be your fucking bouncer. Perhaps because I ask the questions you don't want to ask of the woman who spends 80% of her time with your children, my GOD CHILDREN. Which you asked me to be.

Fuck.

And now my husband is shouting at me for being such a meany. I have no fucking clue what I could have done wrong, other that be there for a friend who was freaking the fuck out. Also being there for the victim, who could have been seriously assaulted. YET SOMEHOW I AM THE BITCH AND THE BAD GUY TONIGHT.

Fuck. I have posed any questions or concerns in the most dulcet of tones. Yet I am fucking the Devil. FML.

ETA Now she is not returning my texts. Seriously, FML.

[Ymir's blood]

[Sock Puppet]

Fuck you, Citrix client server. Fuck you so, SO much. As long as it's such a goddamned hassle to log on to you in the first place, the very least you could do is REFRAIN FROM KICKING ME BACK THE FUCK OFF every TEN FUCKING MINUTES, you rancid pile of donkey filth.

[Ymir's blood]

for the donkey filth.

[curses]

As an ex-Citrix user, I concur with teh Sack.

Donkey bollocks covered in donkey filth.

[Janet]

Really? REALLY lady?! You see me struggling to put a large piece of plate glass into a display window and you decide now is the time to ask me where the fucking videos are? Because apparently it would have been too damn much trouble to continue walking ten more yards to the information desk. Wanker!

[Clutch Munny]

Yes, when the meeting is half an hour over the limit already, owing to your earlier incomprehensible ramble 2/3 of the way through it, and the polite Chair of the meeting, who is from another organization and doesn't want to seem mean, asks whether there is any more information we might need from our side of the table, by all means you should launch into another twenty minute fucking homily about puppies, apple pie, and the virtues of interdisciplinarity and synergies. You fucking crank. How do you still occupy a senior position? But you're not one of my line managers, no you're not, so senior or otherwise, you're goddamn right I'll interrupt you -- sooner next time! -- to say to the Chair, "Well, to answer your question...". Oh, I saw how pissed off you were. But you know what? Fuck you, that's what. I was back in my office getting shit done before you would otherwise have yammered yourself hoarse.

[viscousmemories]

Originally Posted by Crumb

I hate adobe updates. They seem to update Acrobat like every week and every time it makes itself my default pdf viewer even though I DO NOT WANT THAT. It never asks me though...

Oh and codswallop!

Edit-->Preferences-->Updater

[Leesifer]

Originally Posted by lisarea

Because I am p. sure it's Lees.

Originally Posted by curses

As an ex-Citrix user, I concur with teh Sack.

Donkey bollocks covered in donkey filth.

As a current Citrix admin, I concur with teh Sack and teh curses.

Buggery-bollocks is my swear.

[vremya]

I want the job I just applied for SO FUCKING BAD. It would solve so many problems for me right now.

Friday was the last day for applications. So, how soon do I call and tell them I really, really, really want the job? I feel like I'm playing a game and I don't know the rules, but I'll be in trouble if I don't follow them.