|
|
03-26-2011, 10:04 PM
|
|
Coffin Creep
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The nightmare realm
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Quote:
Originally Posted by curses
Why do you think it took me so damn long to getting around to going to college?
|
__________________
Much of MADNESS, and more of SIN, and HORROR the soul of the plot.
|
03-26-2011, 10:52 PM
|
|
Coffee, tea, anti-Nazi
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Atlanta, GA
Gender: Female
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Nah, it was drugs, duh.
|
03-26-2011, 11:28 PM
|
|
Coffin Creep
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: The nightmare realm
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Same difference.
__________________
Much of MADNESS, and more of SIN, and HORROR the soul of the plot.
|
03-27-2011, 04:42 AM
|
|
NeoTillichian Hierophant & Partisan Hack
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Iowa
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Video games are an opiate for the masses.
__________________
Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
|
03-28-2011, 01:24 AM
|
Banned for copyright violations
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Nouveau royaume croisé de Jérusalem
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angakuk
Video games are an opiate for the masses.
|
Anything can be. Just don't overdo it. (Or overjew it, as with FF.)
|
03-28-2011, 05:04 AM
|
|
Adequately Crumbulent
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Cascadia
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angakuk
Video games are an opiate for the masses.
|
|
03-30-2011, 03:17 AM
|
|
Man in Black
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Over here.
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
I do not ever want to hear the words innovation, cutting edge, differentiation, creativity, and other high-sounding buzzwords from the mouths of our executives ever again. They have demonstrated that they simply do not understand what those words mean.
I work for clueless idiots who think that rubber-band pop-up boxes are modern, cutting-edge communication tools. Idiots who continually yap about thinking outside the box yet continually barf up the same ideas time after time after time, who continually resort to doing the same things over and over again and who think that announcing promotions the week after cutting staff will raise morale and that if only we could just wow the client with spiffy PowerPoint slides we will become like this hyper-successful company.
Meanwhile they can't get the content for the web site finished because they're fretting over which buzzwords to put in. As if clichés win business.
I want to work with grownups for a change. I'm tired of these immature micromanaging twits.
__________________
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
--
Official Bunny Hero
|
Thanks, from:
|
Adam (03-30-2011), Deadlokd (03-30-2011), freemonkey (03-30-2011), Janet (03-31-2011), JoeP (03-30-2011), Pan Narrans (03-30-2011), Qingdai (03-30-2011), Sock Puppet (03-30-2011), vremya (03-30-2011), Watser? (03-30-2011), wei yau (03-30-2011), wildernesse (03-30-2011), Ymir's blood (03-30-2011)
|
03-30-2011, 06:24 AM
|
|
Solipsist
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
That is a cutting-edge post that will truly differentiate this thread from the competition, Mr Pyro. If you can work it into a few PowerPoint slides by COB, that would be great. I'll schedule a reach-out to the core innovation team at 8pm and we'll get this rant on the road.
|
03-30-2011, 02:54 PM
|
|
Some days it's not worth chewing through the straps.
|
|
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Georgia
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
I have two conference calls today. The first call will be about the second call and why it is important to be in attendance, followed by a lot of bitching about people not following instructions. Then there will be ten minutes of idiot talk.
"Okay, so I dial the same number, but there is a different pass code?"
"Oh, okay. Do I have to hit the pound sign?"
"Should I be on mute? What if I want to ask a question?"
"Do you want me to email you after the call to let you know that I was on the call?"*
The second call will be filled with business speak about action items, driving the business, moving things forward, major players, workstreams, prethinking, and other yawn inducing crap. The best part will be the 30 minute conversation about staying productive.
* Actually heard on the last call.
__________________
I will always Sonoma Bear
|
03-30-2011, 03:13 PM
|
|
professional left-winger
|
|
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
prethinking?
__________________
|
03-30-2011, 03:15 PM
|
|
Crafty Agitator
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Minneapolis MN
Gender: Female
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
You could take a drink every time you hear a buzzword, like incentivize (I hate that word), stakeholder, work smarter not harder, etc. That may make it more fun.
__________________
|
03-30-2011, 04:15 PM
|
|
Astroid the Foine Loine between a Poirate and a Farrrmer
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2011
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Don't forget to maximize facetime, proactively pursue things, have a holistic approach to the challenges, interface with the different teams, and streamline the processes and the workflows too. That is very important.
The problem with me is that I spendway too much time on those calls being the only Indian in a call full of Chiefs. At the end of it, the conclusion is generally that there is a priority list of stuff we need Viv to do now, a list of stuff Viv can do later, and future things for viv to do that are part of the strategic approach. The only other person that "takes away actions" (another good one) is the project manager. Project management seems to mainly involve sending out the invite for the next call, and making a list of bullet points of Stuff We Want Viv To Do.
And then they all congratulate themselves on a job well done - a productive call.
|
03-30-2011, 04:29 PM
|
|
Vice Cobra Assistant Commander
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Indianapolis, IN, USA
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mulebear
"Do you want me to email you after the call to let you know that I was on the call?"*
* Actually heard on the last call.
|
We do this all the time for calls where a large number of people need to be in attendance, but not everyone will necessarily have a lot to say. So, I typically join the call, put it on mute, send an email to the organizer saying I'm there, and then browse for an hour.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vremya
...incentivize (I hate that word)...
|
Why does no one like "incentivize"? I love it. It's a more elegant way to say "to create an incentive for".
__________________
"Trans Am Jesus" is "what hanged me"
|
03-30-2011, 04:32 PM
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
--J.D.
|
03-30-2011, 04:39 PM
|
|
Crafty Agitator
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Minneapolis MN
Gender: Female
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam
Quote:
Originally Posted by vremya
...incentivize (I hate that word)...
|
Why does no one like "incentivize"? I love it. It's a more elegant way to say "to create an incentive for".
|
Arrrggghhhhhh!!!!!!!
__________________
|
03-30-2011, 07:56 PM
|
|
Solipsist
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adam
Why does no one like "incentivize"?
|
Because they haven't been sufficiently incentivised to like it.
|
03-30-2011, 09:02 PM
|
|
NeoTillichian Hierophant & Partisan Hack
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Iowa
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
There is no proper motivation for using incentivize.
__________________
Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
|
03-31-2011, 12:09 PM
|
|
Man in Black
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Over here.
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Quote:
Originally Posted by freemonkey
prethinking?
|
That's what you do so you can capture key learnings.
__________________
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
--
Official Bunny Hero
|
03-31-2011, 12:16 PM
|
|
Man in Black
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Over here.
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Since my last rant, I've been assigned to the Vision Statement Task Force. Our 5-week mission: to develop a new vision statement for the company. "We will also be producing a couple marketing pieces." Right. These people can't even manage to compose a proper English sentence, and they're going to write a mission statement.
Kill me now. Send my stereo to Doctor X.
__________________
The flash of light you saw in the sky was not a UFO. Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
--
Official Bunny Hero
|
03-31-2011, 05:36 PM
|
|
Solipsist
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Kolmannessa kerroksessa
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
You have my deepest sympathy.
I think you should adopt a private mission ... to undermine the vision statement efforts. You need a personal goal like: get the team to create a vision statement they will all buy into, but which is in fact so ludicrous it becomes an internet meme.
|
03-31-2011, 05:43 PM
|
|
Vaginally-privileged sociopathic cultist
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: La Mer
Gender: Female
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
__________________
|
03-31-2011, 05:45 PM
|
|
Bizarre unknowable space alien
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Flint, MI
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
I like that idea. We once did a game called Hidden Agendas for staff development day. you got a pile of legos and had to build a wall, but some people were assigned hidden agendas like "no yellow bricks next to a green brick" or "always two red bricks in a row". When we practiced the exercise I noticed someone always separating the green from the blue, so I made a point to put them together to make her do more work. Because I'm evil.
__________________
"freedom to differ is not limited to things that do not matter much. That would be a mere shadow of freedom. The test of its substance is the right to differ as to things that touch the heart of the existing order."
- Justice Robert Jackson, West Virginia State Board of Ed. v. Barnette
|
04-01-2011, 12:34 AM
|
|
Dogehlaugher -Scrutari
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Northwest
Gender: Female
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
I basically view mission statements as what they are failing to do.
Here's ours:
Transforming healthcare by educating highly skilled
and compassionate practitioners, providing exemplary
patient care, and engaging in innovative research
within a community of service and healing.
|
04-01-2011, 12:43 AM
|
|
NeoTillichian Hierophant & Partisan Hack
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Iowa
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
A community of caring Christian people gathered together around a common commitment to enriching their pastor.
I tried to get my parish to adopt this mission statement, but they were unaccountably reluctant to do so. Go figure!
__________________
Old Pain In The Ass says: I am on a mission from God to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable; to bring faith to the doubtful and doubt to the faithful.
|
04-01-2011, 01:02 AM
|
|
A Very Gentle Bort
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Bortlandia
Gender: Male
|
|
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
We do stuff like all those other guys except we don't waste time making up bullshit sentences so we can focus on screwing around on the internet.
__________________
\V/_ I COVLD TEACh YOV BVT I MVST LEVY A FEE
|
Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 3 (0 members and 3 guests)
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 07:21 PM.
|
|
|
|