New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

[Pyrrho]

Sly Stallone

[Ymir's blood]

Seabury Quinn!

[BrotherMan]

Francesco Antonio José de Lorenzana y Buitrón, Archbishop of Toledo, Primate of Spain, and Ambassador of King Charles IV to the Holy See!

[Ymir's blood]

THE HOARY HOSTS OF HOGGOTH!

[mulebear]

When I was an adolescent, I had the hots for Sebastian Cabot as Mr. French and James Mason as Captain Nemo. I have never found adolescent boys of interest.

[chunksmediocrites]

Dear local public school system special education teacher,

The first day of kindergarten our son freaked out and you didn't have the documents that would have told you he had an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). That's the document that was drawn up in the last school year, at the same school, when he was in preschool. It might not be your fault that you didn't get that document. But you know who I know for sure is not responsible for internal transfers of documents in the school? Us. So when you basically asked Qingdai if we had been raising our son like a wild animal, that was kind of out of line. And when you groused up a storm about how you didn't get the IEP when you were supposed to, hey, I hear you, but maybe you should lay that on whoever the fuck it was who was supposed to make that happen. Because it wasn't us.

And when you demand a meeting right away, maybe it is a bad way to start the meeting with a non-sequitur, half muttered, half general declarative: "I am not going to lose my job over this," which I guaran-fucking-tee raises all kinds of red flags, especially as, when I indicate my confusion, you just go on like you didn't just say that.

Then you go on to complain about how you didn't get the IEP (again) for nearly twenty minutes of our meeting. You mention (again) that you have thirty years of experience. You mention (again) you have foster children with special needs. I don't know if this is supposed to be confidence building, but so far it is not.

The rest of the meeting is you saying the IEP as written is complete shit, you demand to know where the rest of the report is, and why don't you have it. Why is it incomplete? Hey, guess what? This is my first ride as a parent of a child with special needs going into kindergarten in public school. I don't have those answers. The best I can do is encourage you to speak to the people who are clearly named on the front of IEP WHO WROTE THE DOCUMENT.

Then you launch into an explanation as to how by your lights and your one interaction with my son, that the diagnosis is wrong on the IEP also. My son is violent and she would be in her rights to put him in restraints. When I ask for clarification of the violence, it turns out that he was lying on his back on the floor kicking and screaming, and she was sitting in a chair. And he is in fucking kindergarten. Seriously, you think you needed to put my 40-lb 5-year old in restraints?

So wow. Rough start for the year. I compose a long letter to the principal and to your supervisor detailing this meeting because I'm not too cool on your intimations that you aren't going to follow the IEP as written, after your one interaction with my son. And the school is somewhat responsive to this matter. And you know what else? Hey, we'll take your advice and have our son re-screened for other things you suggested. That process in itself will take six months, but it is a good suggestion. Credit to you there.

Skip ahead to the end of our son's kindergarten year. We've been saddled with your "help" all year and we have one meeting left to go. We've had three sit-down meetings this year with our son's "team". One was to have a Functional Behavioral Analysis (FBA), which gives markers and a report as to how our son is performing in school. This was the meeting we had to insist on because you wanted to lump it in with an IEP meeting, which makes no sense, because analysis actually requires observation and time, and a FBA is something you want done ahead of time, to help shape the IEP. In fact we want an Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) in place (that is built from a FBA) so at the IEP we can review that, and we can write a better IEP.

So it is with no surprise that we can't see a draft copy of the IEP before the IEP meeting, and it is with no surprise that the IEP that you so thoroughly excoriated as unacceptable is there fucking verbatim, you changed one sentence.

Also nice of you to start the meeting with, when meeting our son's general education student teacher helper, with a brief lecture on how she shouldn't go into teaching because it's not worth it. I am so glad you are in charge of helping all the kids with special education needs at my son's school.

So hey, we run out of time at that meeting, and then the next day we finally get a chance to observe a class that might help our son, at another school.

A note here, I felt like crying when I saw what an elementary school -where they had a building that wasn't over a hundred years old and obviously had some small funding stream and people who care about it- could look like. I've been sending my son to a craptastic school a couple rungs above a day prison, except I've been to nicer prisons.

So we request another meeting, to talk about placement, because if there is one thing we are sure of, the BIP is not working, and our son has been suspended from fucking kindergarten four times this year, and we need to get him the hell away from this set-up, and into a setting that is more supportive.

We ask for a two-hour time slot for the IEP, because the last meeting was rushed, it is very late in the school year, and we want to make sure we get everything hammered out. So this is when you decide to let us know a two-hour meeting is just not possible, and you do this over the phone, most likely because if you were emailing this shit it would be obvious that you were lying your ass off when I asked pointed questions as to why the meeting could not be two hours.

WHEW. So now I've emailed all your bosses again to point out that you are feeding us bullshit, and now you've come back saying what time do you want to meet. Well response written and let's see if you can just schedule this fucking meeting, and we can get placement for our son outside of your grasp.

It is embarrassing that when our son had a substitute in for you one day, that sub was about ten times more competent than you in that one afternoon, and brought more observations and insight from spending a few hours with our son than you brought us in the whole school year.

I hope our complaints do more than irritate you and your bosses at our local public school. I hope they build part of a record that sets the grounds for your decision to get out (or their decision to throw your burnt-out self out) of public education, for the public's good.

Rant over.

[vremya]

[vremya]

Of course you've never experienced anxiety - that's because you are an arrogant fuck who doesn't fucking care about other people's feelings and how your actions affect others. I'm sick of sitting in group therapy with you and pretending to care about you when I just want to tell you to grow the fuck up.

[Pyrrho]

"goosfraba"

[Pyrrho]

When you ask me a question, if you are going to cut me off before I can complete a single word of my answer, please go fuck a porcupine, or go sit on a cactus, or both.

[Ensign Steve]

The busybody food patrol is out in full force again. Do you know that expression, "How can you tell if someone is a vegetarian? They'll tell you." It's a mean joke and it's not true. If someone tells you they're a vegetarian, it's probably because you've offered them meat more than once and they're letting you know you're barking up the wrong tree. Or at least that's what I assume based on my own experience.

It started earlier in the week with See's candy. I politely declined and got the usual barrage of incredulity, like who could possibly not want to eat candy?! I understand the incredulity, trust me. It's downright inhuman to turn down delicious See's candy. I get that and trust me it is hard as hell to do. But when they kept asking, "why not?! just one?" I finally said, "I don't eat sugar." Nevermind that I had only decided I needed a break from sugar the day before, the fact was the same, I wasn't going to eat any candy.

So then later in the day a student gave me the third degree about why don't I eat sugar? Am I hypoglycemic? What do I eat when I want something sweet? I find those kind of questions terribly personal and invasive, but he's a nice guy and I went ahead and was candid and answered his questions. I found out after the fact that he was doing reconnaissance for my going-away meeting today at work. They had already made plans to get me a fancy cake and then all of a sudden they needed to change them.

The reason I found this out was that I mentioned that I was thinking of bringing in cupcakes for my last day. Regular bakery cupcakes with delicious icing on top. Enough for the whole office to share with everyone and say thanks for a great couple of years. So then they have to level with me that they're already doing something so I shouldn't bring anything. That's how I found out about the earlier reconnaissance, which made sense.

But of course people have to be clueless and say insensitive things, because that's how people are. The exact quote was, "Brad was going to get us a cake from Cecilia's, but you ruined that!" Excuse me? I don't remember ruining anything. In fact I'm pretty sure I just said I was going to bring cupcakes in before I was told not to. I said they should just go ahead and get the cake or whatever they want, but then the boss got the impression that that meant that I would eat it, to which I was like, "No, but seriously, it's okay. I wasn't going to eat the cupcakes either," and they're just like, "no no no! It's your thing, we have to have something you can eat!" and then proceed to grill me about what I can eat and shine a spotlight on how difficult I'm being when I never asked for anything in the first place.

Why do people have such a problem with that? I had the same thing at my birthday years and years ago where I didn't want any cake and someone in the office was downright aggressive and in my face about it, like, "It's your birthday! You have to have cake!" and the more I refused, the more pissed off she got, like I was the one being rude. Here's an idea. If it's my special day, how about you stop pushing the issue with me and let me enjoy myself?

[Sock Puppet]

"Since we do not agree with your contract in full, please take the time to review our modifications and respond accordingly rather than rejecting entirely."

You hypocritical fucking douchebag. Why don't YOU take the time to review what I sent YOU and realize that I took your modifications POINT BY MINISCULE MOTHERFUCKING POINT and agreed with FUCKING HALF of them? And that I called you on your obvious fucking lie that we previously agreed to modify our Audit clause, which we couldn't possibly have fucking done because it would've involved going through a totally Kafkaesque nightmare of internal approvals processes with a half-dozen different departments?

I suppressed about 3 different levels of impulses in my response -- working backwards, 3. including "You can't always git whatchoo want" at the end, 2. several playful forays into creative profanity, and 1. looking your building up on Google Maps (you're probably within walking distance, douchebag), finding you and beating you into a fine paste. And then, I even ran my non-violent, non-profane response past someone to make sure it wasn't unprofessional before I sent it.

You're motherfucking welcome, you lying little shitheap.

[Ensign Steve]

Your profanity is so much better than mine.

[Ymir's blood]

In truth, I have known one person who became a vegan and loudly proclaimed it on a regular basis. He was already an asshole though.

Heh, reminds me of something from the Bible. It isn't what goes into your mouth that makes you unclean, but what comes out of it. This guy was a jerk when he was drunk, but when he sobered up for a month we were all desperately hoping he'd fall off the wagon again. In some people, alcohol suppresses assholishness.

[lisarea]

I have met a couple of preachy vegans or vegetarians before, but for every preachy speech from a veg[itari]an, I've seen literally hundreds of predictions or over-the-top recountings of preachiness from angrily defensive meat eaters.

[Ensign Steve]

Originally Posted by lisarea

I have met a couple of preachy vegans or vegetarians before, but for every preachy speech from a veg[itari]an, I've seen literally hundreds of predictions or over-the-top recountings of preachiness from angrily defensive meat eaters.

Also, I assume for every preachy veg[itari]an there are literally hundreds of vegetarians that you don't know about because they don't fucking talk about it. So people assume you're not if you don't "rub it in their face" just like they assume you're straight or male* or whatever the primacy group is.

Thanks for primacy, Demi! I don't care if I'm using it right or not!

* I'm referring specifically to the "wisdom" on reddit that when men post a picture of a thing, they just post the thing, whereas women put themselves in the photo so that everybody knows they're a woman. First of all, not the case. And second of all, how do you know all those things that were posted without the person were posted by men?

[SharonDee]

Originally Posted by Ensign Steve

[Sock Puppet's] profanity is so much better than mine.

Well, it has to be! It's his thread and he's under much more pressure than you are to deliver on the title's promise.

Poor Sack. Poor, poor Sack.

[Sock Puppet]

I'm glad somebody here acknowledges the sacrifices I make for you poor obscure bastards that nobody links to.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by Ensign Steve

* I'm referring specifically to the "wisdom" on reddit that when men post a picture of a thing, they just post the thing, whereas women put themselves in the photo so that everybody knows they're a woman. First of all, not the case. And second of all, how do you know all those things that were posted without the person were posted by men?

UGH and just yesterday, there was a post on mefi about Feminist Frequency, and there was a sentiment that complaints about male gaze related topics were flawed, as they focused on media for men.

Thing is, "media for men" was being defined as "everything but rom coms" or something. Because default = men, and women are some special niche market. Happily, mefi is not reddit, so they got called on it fast and hard, which gladdened my heart.

But also fucking reddit noobs. From ever since the 40s or whenever I started posting on the internets, there have been shittons of ladies, many if not most using vague or male names, because one of the major draws of internet communications was that you could take a break from the lady assumptions and just talk about shit without dealing with lady baggage.

However, that's also why I've recently been making serious efforts to not dudepoast anymore, correcting people when they call me a man, and responding to presumptions of maleness and stuff. I've even unsubscribed from a few techblogs because of repeated articles addressed to "gentlemen" and lulzy stuff about "your girlfriends" and shit. Funny thing is, it's not even real tech blogs that do it the most. It's mostly the tech consumer (AKA shopping) sites; so I really haven't missed any of them at all.

[Ensign Steve]

Originally Posted by lisarea

mefi is not reddit

MOAR INFO PLZ

[Ensign Steve]

Originally Posted by lisarea

But also fucking reddit noobs. From ever since the 40s or whenever I started posting on the internets, there have been shittons of ladies, many if not most using vague or male names, because one of the major draws of internet communications was that you could take a break from the lady assumptions and just talk about shit without dealing with lady baggage.

I'm a little bit familiar with the concept (yes, ensignsteve on reddit is me) and the only time it's ever an issue is in the weightlifting forums because when I say I squat 80 pounds it means something entirely different depending on my gender. Weightlifting forums. Probably not the worst place on the planet to be a feminist but I wouldn't wish it on anybody I love.

[Dingfod]

Originally Posted by Ymir's blood

Heh, reminds me of something from the Bible. It isn't what goes into your mouth that makes you unclean, but what comes out of it.

Yeah, I hate when I dribble, drool, or vomit on myself.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by Ensign Steve

I'm a little bit familiar with the concept (yes, ensignsteve on reddit is me) and the only time it's ever an issue is in the weightlifting forums because when I say I squat 80 pounds it means something entirely different depending on my gender. Weightlifting forums. Probably not the worst place on the planet to be a feminist but I wouldn't wish it on anybody I love.

I've actually done little experiments where I'd keep a tally of responses to my posts depending on whether I was identifiably lady vs. man vs. indeterminate.

Findings:

Unless you're like actively saying something about giving birth or having periods, indeterminate genders are presumed male.

Ladies are nearly always wrong about technical topics, and usually wrong about other things. Men will actually "correct" your accurate statements about technical subjects with their own, often less accurate ones. Sometimes, the correction is nothing more than a paraphrase of what you just said. Basically mansplaining. Also, if there's any even remotely ambiguous aspect to a technical topic, some dude will come along and fabricate the most awesomely, creatively stupid interpretation possible. E.g., "Oh, you seem to be confused about the difference between hardware and software." If you post the same thing as a dude, though, acceptance increases like seriously TENFOLD.

I've tested this one extensively, sometimes even posting the same answer to the same query once as a man and once as a lady, and although I don't have the statistics at hand right now, they were impressive.

When someone is internet-mad at you, men get called poor and ladies get called ugly and fat and random strangers basically threaten to withhold sex or something.

I am going to tell My Taco Bell Story Story again, because it is awesome and slightly relevant.

A superassed long time ago, on the Usenet, I posted a true story of how once, I went to Taco Bell, and a uniformed Denver police officer took my order and made some tacos for me. True story, I reiterate.

Some time later, I get an email from someone telling me to go read a story on page N of a local paper. I do. It is my Usenet post, excerpted as quotes, calling me 'he' and some convoluted man version of my obviously lady name.

I immediately go back to Usenet and make an angry post threatening to get another larger local paper to cover The Tale of the Purloined Usenet Poast.

Shortly after THAT, I get another tip from someone telling me to pick up a copy of the larger local paper and read the story on like PAGE FUCKING THREE or something.

It is a carefully excerpted account of the second Usenet poast, ATTRIBUTED BY NAME TO SOME RANDOM DUDE WHO HAD RESPONDED TO MY ORIGINAL POST. They even did like investigative journalism about it to find out why a cop was making tacos. (She was doing off duty security and would get bored sometimes and help out.)

I don't know how they even managed to get it wrong unless it was on purpose, as my second post, which the guy who responded even quoted, was mostly about how I was enraged at being called 'he' and having them make up some dudely version of my name.

OH AND ONE MORE THING: One of the other times that I got something stoled offa Usenet and published, it was some weird Filipino "humor magazine" that printed a stupid Usenet post I made about some people who were talking about pork for a really long time, and they titled it "Woman and Her Feelings."

[wei yau]

I've got nothing to add, I'm quoting this just so someday when someone writes about some person had a story about a cop serving Taco Bell a hella long time ago, they will attribute it to me.

Originally Posted by lisarea

I've actually done little experiments where I'd keep a tally of responses to my posts depending on whether I was identifiably lady vs. man vs. indeterminate.

Findings:

Unless you're like actively saying something about giving birth or having periods, indeterminate genders are presumed male.

Ladies are nearly always wrong about technical topics, and usually wrong about other things. Men will actually "correct" your accurate statements about technical subjects with their own, often less accurate ones. Sometimes, the correction is nothing more than a paraphrase of what you just said. Basically mansplaining. Also, if there's any even remotely ambiguous aspect to a technical topic, some dude will come along and fabricate the most awesomely, creatively stupid interpretation possible. E.g., "Oh, you seem to be confused about the difference between hardware and software." If you post the same thing as a dude, though, acceptance increases like seriously TENFOLD.

I've tested this one extensively, sometimes even posting the same answer to the same query once as a man and once as a lady, and although I don't have the statistics at hand right now, they were impressive.

When someone is internet-mad at you, men get called poor and ladies get called ugly and fat and random strangers basically threaten to withhold sex or something.

I am going to tell My Taco Bell Story Story again, because it is awesome and slightly relevant.

A superassed long time ago, on the Usenet, I posted a true story of how once, I went to Taco Bell, and a uniformed Denver police officer took my order and made some tacos for me. True story, I reiterate.

Some time later, I get an email from someone telling me to go read a story on page N of a local paper. I do. It is my Usenet post, excerpted as quotes, calling me 'he' and some convoluted man version of my obviously lady name.

I immediately go back to Usenet and make an angry post threatening to get another larger local paper to cover The Tale of the Purloined Usenet Poast.

Shortly after THAT, I get another tip from someone telling me to pick up a copy of the larger local paper and read the story on like PAGE FUCKING THREE or something.

It is a carefully excerpted account of the second Usenet poast, ATTRIBUTED BY NAME TO SOME RANDOM DUDE WHO HAD RESPONDED TO MY ORIGINAL POST. They even did like investigative journalism about it to find out why a cop was making tacos. (She was doing off duty security and would get bored sometimes and help out.)

I don't know how they even managed to get it wrong unless it was on purpose, as my second post, which the guy who responded even quoted, was mostly about how I was enraged at being called 'he' and having them make up some dudely version of my name.

[BrotherMan]

Originally Posted by lisarea

A superassed long time ago, on the Usenet, I posted a true story of how once, I went to Taco Bell, and a uniformed Denver police officer took my order and made some tacos for me. True story, I reiterate.

I don't think you know how to use usenet or even know what it is. It's where men used to talk on the internet so I call shenanigans.