THE WORST THRAD EVAH: A RETROSPECTIVE
Looking Back in Shock and Awe: 100 Pages of Pure Drivel
It began innocently enough. The post was dated March 15, and time-stamped 2:25 p.m.
“Hi everyone,” it began, “I wanted to share with the members a book that is a true revolution in thought…”
And so it began. By post number 10, Sophia — anyone remember Sophia? — had weighed in, as follows: “For example, it's true that ceterus paribus, societies which ban female genital mutilation are morally better than societies which tolerate and/or excuse it. This is all true based on conscience, reason and science, not whether Dr. Goldsilverbergowitz gives me permission to speak the truth.”
Two posts later, Lady Shea uncovered the dirt: Digging up a link to a 589-page book grandiosely entitled “Decline and Fall of All Evil: The Most Important Discovery of Our Times,” and dedicated “to all mankind.”
Eyes are not sense organs. The light from the sun is seen instantaneously. It is mathematically certain that man has no free will. Dogs cannot recognize their masters by sight alone. The two-sided equation. How to pick up “goils” in under a minute and marry them for life. To wake a child is to blame it for sleeping. Vaccination is bad. Come the Golden Age, anyone can be a doctor. Man Does Not Stand Alone. Buy the book online and you too can learn about God and the afterlife. Just $39.95.
On and on it went, for page after excruciating page.
Logic, evidence, reason, common sense, graphics, charts, data and links to peer-reviewed scientific studies were mustered by members in an effort to educate peacegirl, all to no avail. They played the role of oil to peacegirl’s waters — waters unroiled by a single rational thought.
In the end, by the time 99th page ran out, the doughty few who had held out against this unending onslaught of willful ignorance were ready for a party.
So here we are. But where are all the goils?