Women are less visually stimulated? Not so fast!

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by Doctor X

Why do you hate the loving wisdom of cancer?

--J.D.

You are sick.

[erimir]

When I was 14, I was taking college level calculus, computer science and physics (and getting high scores on their respective AP tests), and already the previous year (in 8th grade) had taken high school honors biology and chemistry as well as received my first 800 score on the SAT math section.

Now, why this is relevant, I'm not sure, but it surely entitles me to as much if not more authority than Aqua. Therefore when I say that your arguments are certainly nothing special, they're usually out of place tangents, accompanied by constant false accusations and desperate seeming attempts to demonstrate your intelligence (I can use logic and nuance! Believe me!), etc. it must be true.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by Count

Fuck sovereign, you really are a wanker. I know it is true because I have a grossly inflated sense of my own capacity for intellectual curiosity and all my friends that think the same way as I do agree with me.

Interestingly, your parody fails because I haven't been sitting around insulting all of you. I've just been defending myself from some mean-spirited people set on cutting me down.

Or maybe you're a callous mean-spirited person afraid to face the plain moral truth that picking on a person with brain cancer, PTSD, and OCD is a shitty thing to do. Maybe you've deliberately blinded yourself to the fact that if you can call me stupid, then racists can call most black people even stupider.

The friend I mentioned in this thread was building radios when she was 14. I think that is pretty cool and indicative of high intelligence. I don't think it is automatically indicative of "grossly inflated sense of my own capacity for intellectual curiosity" to point that fact out. How about you?

[Deadlokd]

I had one of these when I was seven. That makes me twice as smart as Aqua.

[erimir]

Or maybe you're too busy looking for ways to look victimized that you forgot to check the fucking date on those last two posts.

The posts from Count and JoeP are from 2008, twit.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by Deadlokd

I had one of these when I was seven. That makes me twice as smart as Aqua.

No, she built them more from scratch. She's a math whiz. I'm not surprised you would reflexively deny that a girl could be so smart, though. You are a sexist, after all.

Anyway, what humane and moral purpose could possibly be served by psychologically abusing me?

[Deadlokd]

Yes, you have found me out. I married a feminist because I'm a sexist. I support changing the world for my daughters because I'm a sexist. You sure got me pegged.

Pro tip: stop posting shit and people will stop picking your posts apart. Now, you call it abuse, objective observers would call it critique.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by erimir

Or maybe you're too busy looking for ways to look victimized that you forgot to check the fucking date on those last two posts.

The posts from Count and JoeP are from 2008, twit.

So I made a mistake or two. (Having OCD makes this kind of thing more likely.) That hardly justifies your calling me a twit. I have PTSD, which sometimes makes me much more sensitive to insults than the average person. I think you are smart enough that you already would have been able to figure that out. When you insult me, the desire to cause me to suffer for your own pleasure must factor into your motivation.

Black people in Joe's South Africa have made far bigger mistakes than any mistakes I've ever made, even when I was insane, yet that does not justify psychologically abusing those people. It's called hate speech, Erimir.

[erimir]

I think that you're not particularly concerned about the accuracy of your accusations, as you've repeatedly shown by lying when you claim that I've said you have the mental age of a child, that you use no logic and show no curiosity, that I mocked your rape, etc. etc.

That you missed the date on those posts is simply an extension of that. If you know that you are more sensitive and emotional, then you ought to have enough insight to look over your posts before posting them. You don't have diarrhea of the fingers - you are capable of looking over what you post before you post it. You don't seem to ever want to take responsibility for your own actions.

What I would like is for you to seriously consider the critiques offered and react in way that suggests you've understood them and have some self-awareness. Claiming that there's no rational reason to think that you could be a troll is not that. Repeatedly claiming that others have said things that they have not said is not that. Ignoring repeated questions about why you're here, whether if your story is true that it would be healthy, etc. is not that.

You continue to behave in a manner that suggests you're instead here to troll us.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by erimir

I think that you're not particularly concerned about the accuracy of your accusations, as you've repeatedly shown by lying when you claim that I've said you have the mental age of a child, that you use no logic and show no curiosity, that I mocked your rape, etc. etc.

You never said that I have the mental age of a child in those words, but you have said that I am extremely stupid (in a variety of phrasing). Extreme stupidity, if it means anything at all, would in this case indicate intelligence far below normal adult capacity.

As for the rest, you've made very similiar statements without being 100% absolute. Perhaps technically some of these complaints are inaccurate, but there was no deliberate lying involved on my part.

Originally Posted by erimir

That you missed the date on those posts is simply an extension of that.

No, it is an extension of heightened impulsivity related to OCD.

Originally Posted by erimir

If you know that you are more sensitive and emotional, then you ought to have enough insight to look over your posts before posting them. You don't have diarrhea of the fingers - you are capable of looking over what you post before you post it.

I do, but because my posts are not characterized in a negative manner in many other communities, particularly post-craniotomy, I do not think you have made the case that my posts are the typed equivalent to diarrhea. I can post evidence that what I'm saying in this regard is true. I've already invited a friend of mine from another board.

Originally Posted by erimir

You don't seem to ever want to take responsibility for your own actions.

I do, but being constantly insulted hampers my ability to do so.

Originally Posted by erimir

What I would like is for you to seriously consider the critiques offered and react in way that suggests you've understood them and have some self-awareness.

This particular part of your post does not come off as unreasonable. I'll, at the very least, take it into further consideration.

Originally Posted by erimir

Claiming that there's no rational reason to think that you could be a troll is not that.

What would suffice to you to show otherwise? I am willing to post MRI scans after they arrive in the mail. That will show that the cancer is not made up. Will that help? If you have any other suggestions, I'm open.

Originally Posted by erimir

Repeatedly claiming that others have said things that they have not said is not that.

If I've done that, it wasn't my intention. When I get ganged up upon, it's overwhelming. There's no feasible way I could answer even half as many people in time, particularly since I have to slog through so many mean-spirited insults.

Originally Posted by erimir

Ignoring repeated questions about why you're here, whether if your story is true that it would be healthy, etc. is not that.

Please take this opportunity right now to ask any questions of this nature. I'll focus on your posts in this thread so I won't be distracted and miss your questions (which is most often what happens in that regard, as opposed to deliberate ignoring).

Originally Posted by erimir

You continue to behave in a manner that suggests you're instead here to troll us.

Would you like to share any suggestions on how to show that I'm no longer a troll? When I was insane, I was a troll by some definitions, but come on; I was insane.

[Crumb]

Bring on Aqua, you are getting stale.

[erimir]

Originally Posted by Sophia

You never said that I have the mental age of a child in those words, but you have said that I am extremely stupid (in a variety of phrasing).

No, not really. That you have the mental age of a child does not follow from any of the comments I've made about your intelligence.

I do, but because my posts are not characterized in a negative manner in many other communities, particularly post-craniotomy, I do not think you have made the case that my posts are the typed equivalent to diarrhea.

1. What communities? Are they communities that you were involved in as Sovereign? Do you constantly make posts about Zionism and your various misfortunes even when they're off-topic?

2. I didn't say your posts were equivalent to diarrhea in the sense that they were shitty. I meant diarrhea in the sense of having no control. You don't have the message board equivalent of Tourette's. You can write a post, and then look over it. That's one of the advantages of writing - you can edit.

I do, but being constantly insulted hampers my ability to do so.

Even when you claim a desire to take responsibility, you make excuses.

What would suffice to you to show otherwise? I am willing to post MRI scans after they arrive in the mail. That will show that the cancer is not made up. Will that help? If you have any other suggestions, I'm open.

This is what I've already explained to you.

You can't prove that you're not a troll - at least not without doing things that would be ill-advised. You have no trust here, and so the only way you could convince anyone is if you posted tons of independently verifiable personal information, and made youtube videos directly addressing us, and so forth. But that's not a wise thing to do. But since that's the only way you can prove it, you're better off just leaving.

If I've done that, it wasn't my intention.

I find that hard to believe when I have repeatedly asked you to show where I've said some of things you've claimed I said (such as claiming that I have posted anti-Semitic tripe and that I refuse to believe that there's anti-Semitism in America) and you have not once even made an effort to substantiate those claims - and then even after I've called you out, you've made the same claim later in the same thread.

As I've said, you have no reason to be here, if your story is true, and you're not a troll. You can't repair your relationship, and it's not healthy. The only way you could prove that you're not a troll is to post information that would open you up to identity theft. The LEAST trollish thing you could do now, aside from that, is to simply LEAVE.

[proto-überGorden]

Originally Posted by Sophia

For example, my friend Aqua, who is likely smarter than you (she was building radios when she was 14 for the fun of it), does NOT agree that I suck - at least in any bad way. She's signing up here, despite the high risk that pricks like you will subject her, too, to psychological abuse.

HOLY ENKI'S LEFT NUT! I think I know Aqua! At least if it is the same Aqua I'm thinking of. Lemme find that picture... there!



That's her, right? Third from the right? I was at the boat show and she's all like, "Haven't I seen you at the gym?", which is totally MY pick-up line, so immediately I KNOW we're simpatico. So we start talking about me, and then we're having drinks, and Barry bows out early with a headache from the glare off the water (I told you wrap-around sun-glasses, but no, don't listen to me, Barry. I've only been around for MILLENNIA and can set people on fire with my steely gaze. WHATEVAHS)... where was I ... oh yeah. So me and Aqua are talking, and then I realize I can't bed just any hottie at a boat show, and I really should ask her for her credentials.
"Well," she gushes, "I don't think you know this one person, but they are rilly smart and built a model of the Parthenon when they were three, and have an IQ of like 200, and they totally like me, so I must be a pretty good person."

Which is pretty tough logic to counter, seeing how if a third party that I've never met says that someone is okay, and I'm told that the third party is really smart, then, well, their word is good enough for me. That's the kind of authority I can respect when it is appealed to!

"Aqua," I breathed, staring into her breasts and partially listening while I thought about how good I looked in the tank top I was wearing, "I could totally get into you. You're amazing."

But then her mom/ agent/ cock-blocker showed up, and they kept talking about how she had to work tomorrow morning early at the second day of the show, yadda, yadda... Aqua's mom reminded me of this one camel that took a disliking to me back in Babylon. Man, I hated that camel almost as much as it hated me.

...Come to think of it, she might have been named Anne. Aggie? One of those.

The chick at the boat show, not the mom or the camel. I mean, they could have been also, but that's kind of unlikely.

Originally Posted by Sophia

I'm a person with a diagnosis of terminal cancer, as well as both PTSD and OCD. That you, or anyone at all in a supposedly civilized forum, would subject me to psychological abuse rather than show even the slightest shred of compassion is a disgusting travesty.

WHOA! Pager alert! 1-800-BUZZKILL!!! Where the fuck did that come from?Way to bring everyone down, Karen Carpenter!

Man, I am swearing off the Sexuality threads. Even the boob thread is full of amazing cock shots. And then it's a bunch of freaky kinks that even the Romans would be all like "What the Hades?" and people with super-downers having to tell you all about it. Mr. Drusus and Viscious Mammaries had better up their game. I bet there are a lot of other forums out there with some really kick-ass sexuality sub-forums they could learn from.

Oh yeah: remember all those pretender Gordens? That's right. Me neither. Who has two thumbs and is an immortal warrior? This guy.

Rock on.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by erimir

When I was 14, I was taking college level calculus, computer science and physics (and getting high scores on their respective AP tests), and already the previous year (in 8th grade) had taken high school honors biology and chemistry as well as received my first 800 score on the SAT math section.

But see, I never said you were stupid. In fact, I always figured that you were highly intelligent, which is why I've found some of your behavior so beneath your potential.

Originally Posted by erimir

Now, why this is relevant, I'm not sure, but it surely entitles me to as much if not more authority than Aqua.

Authority? I've just wanted to not be viciously insulted and treated like some kind of subhuman. That people as smart as Aqua do appreciate me falsifies the dehumanizing hate speech from some of you which basically says that my mind is worthless.

Originally Posted by erimir

Therefore when I say that your arguments are certainly nothing special, they're usually out of place tangents, accompanied by constant false accusations and desperate seeming attempts to demonstrate your intelligence (I can use logic and nuance! Believe me!), etc. it must be true.

That I want to be treated with a bit of respect and dignity does not rationally imply that I think I'm in any way special or superior. Neither does pointing out the repeatedly demonstrated reality that I do use logic and nuance imply that I think I'm better at it than you or anyone else around here. I'm not saying I'm of superior intelligence, but only that I'm not an idiot and I would like a modicum of respect rather than hatred and malice.

I also wouldn't need to be desperate if you didn't put me in a desperate situation by ganging up on me in the dozens and doing your best to murder my humanity through constant mean-spirited insults and throwing at me things that I said while insane and implying that I believe them today.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by proto-überGorden

HOLY ENKI'S LEFT NUT! I think I know Aqua! At least if it is the same Aqua I'm thinking of. Lemme find that picture... there!

Nope, not the same Aqua. What a surprise.

Originally Posted by proto-überGorden

That's the kind of authority I can respect when it is appealed to!

What's your point? I was making the simple point that an assumption underlying the systematic dehumanization of me on FF (i.e., "everyone agrees that you suck") is false. I can also prove that Aqua is completely real.

Originally Posted by proto-überGorden

WHOA! Pager alert! 1-800-BUZZKILL!!!

Yeah, that's kinda my point in the first place. Why can't I post here without getting demonized and dehumanized?

Originally Posted by proto-überGorden

Where the fuck did that come from?Way to bring everyone down, Karen Carpenter!

So the larger problem is not hate speech itself but rather complaints about such injustice?

Originally Posted by proto-überGorden

Man, I am swearing off the Sexuality threads. Even the boob thread is full of amazing cock shots And then it's a bunch of freaky kinks that even the Romans would be all like "What the Hades?" and people with super-downers having to tell you all about it. Mr. Drusus and Viscious Mammaries had better up their game. I bet there are a lot of other forums out there with some really kick-ass sexuality sub-forums they could learn from..

You say all this like it's a bad thing.

I think you have the genders of Liv and Vis switched, although I may be misremembering.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by erimir

No, not really. That you have the mental age of a child does not follow from any of the comments I've made about your intelligence.

Only if you meant by extreme stupidity something other than, well, extreme stupidity.

Originally Posted by erimir

What communities? Are they communities that you were involved in as Sovereign? Do you constantly make posts about Zionism and your various misfortunes even when they're off-topic?

I'll have to talk to the administrators about whether I should link you or simply paste from the private sections, etc. There are some unsavory types on FF who enjoy causing pain and humiliation in people. Yes, I was involved as Sovereign. "Strangely," when I told them about my craniotomy, they didn't adopt a posture of kneejerk denial and unleash massive insults at me. Instead, they were pleased that I was getting better. I do not constantly make posts about Zionism here so I am unsure of the relevance. My misfortunes are on topic because several of you have made numerous posts claiming that I just made them up and you've dehumanized me with as much vitriol as the Nazis dehumanized the Jews. I think it is a legitimate concern that supposedly secular, humane, freethinking people would ever be capable of such vicious behavior.

Originally Posted by erimir

[2. I didn't say your posts were equivalent to diarrhea in the sense that they were shitty. I meant diarrhea in the sense of having no control. You don't have the message board equivalent of Tourette's. You can write a post, and then look over it. That's one of the advantages of writing - you can edit.

As it happens, I do edit my posts here a great deal. Note the "last edited by..." message on many.

Perhaps I should edit them even more, or be careful to do more editing before posting in the first place.

Originally Posted by erimir

[Even when you claim a desire to take responsibility, you make excuses.

It is not an excuse so much as a rational explanation. If a black person wants to be a responsible worker but he or she is constantly being called a monkey, baboon, and retard at work, do you think it would be mere excuse-making for such a human being to complain about that?

Originally Posted by erimir

This is what I've already explained to you.

You can't prove that you're not a troll - at least not without doing things that would be ill-advised. You have no trust here, and so the only way you could convince anyone is if you posted tons of independently verifiable personal information, and made youtube videos directly addressing us, and so forth. But that's not a wise thing to do. But since that's the only way you can prove it, you're better off just leaving.

I'll consider all this. It'll take a bit of time.

Originally Posted by erimir

[I find that hard to believe when I have repeatedly asked you to show where I've said some of things you've claimed I said (such as claiming that I have posted anti-Semitic tripe and that I refuse to believe that there's anti-Semitism in America) and you have not once even made an effort to substantiate those claims - and then even after I've called you out, you've made the same claim later in the same thread.

I'll find what I was referring to, and if necessary, further refine my complaints, and if applicable, apologize for any mistakes or exaggerations on my part.

Originally Posted by erimir

As I've said, you have no reason to be here, if your story is true, and you're not a troll. You can't repair your relationship, and it's not healthy. The only way you could prove that you're not a troll is to post information that would open you up to identity theft. The LEAST trollish thing you could do now, aside from that, is to simply LEAVE.

I'll consider this. I have enjoyed some conversations here. There are some posters here who have never participated in dehumanizing me. If some of you were not so hell-bent on demonizing and dehumanizing me, perhaps it wouldn't be so difficult to "repair the relationship."

[erimir]

If you had taken the criticism you initially received about how your posts were non sequitur (moving from Sarah Kruzan to anti-Zionism is jumping all over the place), instead of immediately accusing everyone of transphobia and not really being against rape and all sorts of other stupid shit, and if you didn't continually post about yourself and how awesome and anti-oppression and pro-Ani DiFranco and how victimized you are and you you you, people wouldn't assume you were a troll.

You made some posts, and when they were not well-received for sensible reasons, you immediately jumped to persecution complex.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by erimir

If you had taken the criticism you initially received about how your posts were non sequitur (moving from Sarah Kruzan to anti-Zionism is jumping all over the place)

I agree to an extent, but I did rationally explain that the Tea Party movement is authoritarian Zionist and provide supporting evidence. I got into how the authoritarian nature of this white supremacist movement may be directly linked to the maltreatment of people these types stereotype as inferior. Sarah being the most pertinent example. That was my point in placing the swastika symbols around "judge" in the sentence describing how he'd condemned Sarah for her ostensible lack of moral character. Typical glibly authoritarian moralist hypocrisy of these types.

So although I was trying to fit too many topics into one post (OCD again), I don't see how that justified so many insults. I did make a case for why some of the linkages were valid and I did make myself clear that I'm no antisemite.

Originally Posted by erimir

instead of immediately accusing everyone of transphobia and not really being against rape and all sorts of other stupid shit, and if you didn't continually post about yourself and how awesome and anti-oppression and pro-Ani DiFranco and how victimized you are and you you you, people wouldn't assume you were a troll.

I am victimized. Don't you read some of the posts made to me here? They are sick. They involve acting as if I'm "life unworthy of life."

You can't honestly just take all this out of context. The posts of some FFers such as Doctor X that mention me are purely negative, and I get ganged up upon with a lot of intensity. Being so suckerpunched I'm hardly always going to hit back with all that great of focus. Especially considering some of the shoes that I wear, it's so easy to get thrown off balance!

Originally Posted by erimir

You made some posts, and when they were not well-received for sensible reasons, you immediately jumped to persecution complex.

If there were sensible reasons, then the criticisms should have been similarly sensible, rather than heavily laden with highly mean-spirited insults of my person.

Sometimes after being insulted with such extreme viciousness (i.e., saying that I'm shit, that I'm worthless, that I should kill myself - I'm not saying you in particular have used any of those), sometimes I might overcompensate. But really I don't see myself as particularly worthy of any reverence on the part of FFers; I just want to be treated decently. And if I'm not getting ganged up upon so often you may be able to see the quality of my arguments and my posting quality overall considerably improve. That's one possible problem with just leaving: FF has never been able to see my full potential, because I've been so completely on the defensive all this time. You say that my argumentation is mediocre, but how can you come to that conclusion based on so little evidence?

I don't have a persecution complex; I simply want the real senseless persecution to end. If I'm doing something wrong, point it out, and I'll do my best to stop that. Regarding convincing people with evidence, several FFers would continue to demonize me no matter how much evidence I come up with. Doctor X is an obvious example.
However, I do suspect that many, though not all, FFers could be fairly well convinced that I have a glioblastoma without any need for me to post more than an MRI scan or two in context with me holding up "Sophia from FF" on a note, with the neurosurgical staples also visible within the frame. Perhaps also with medical documentation decribing the glioblastoma close to the camera lens.

[Doctor X]

-J.D.

[Sophia]

Originally Posted by Doctor X

-J.D.

Case in point. Classic demonization ala Nazi propaganda. This kind of thing, when it spreads to being practiced on a large scale, often leads to the facilitation of genocide. It doesn't help lead the facilitation of a safer world, including for children.

[Demimonde]

Think of the children!

Seriously though, S, if your response to someone making a silly face is to leap to the "facilitation of genocide" you don't belong here. It has nothing to do with intelligence or political persuasion, or gender identity. It has everything to do with rolling with the punches and being able to laugh at yourself, neither of which you have ever been able to do.

You seem to seek acceptence from folks that are not at all like you. If you loved yourself, you wouldn't need our approval.

[Deadlokd]

Originally Posted by erimir

If you had taken the criticism you initially received about how your posts were non sequitur (moving from Sarah Kruzan to anti-Zionism is jumping all over the place), instead of immediately accusing everyone of transphobia and not really being against rape and all sorts of other stupid shit, and if you didn't continually post about yourself and how awesome and anti-oppression and pro-Ani DiFranco and how victimized you are and you you you, people wouldn't assume you were a troll.

You made some posts, and when they were not well-received for sensible reasons, you immediately jumped to persecution complex.

You need to read this again Sophia. Three times.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by Sophia

I request that you don't call me Brandon. That name was chosen by my parents, not by me, and it is inconsistent with my internal gender image, which evidently is neurologically based.

Thank you for the explanation. Feel free to ask more questions.

And I request that you don't reply to 2 year old posts as if they are current. Check the post date, don't make excuses based on having OCD.

However, I see something encouraging here: you acknowledge that you are/were Brandon, instead of avoiding the question. That's good, very good.

[Doctor X]

Surely you're joking!

--J.D.

[Brimshack]

Yeah, that's kinda my point in the first place. Why can't I post here without getting demonized and dehumanized?

Because arguments can be a lot like mirrors.