Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
I get off wednseday morning the 14th. I drive immediately to kennesaw, near atlanta for yall furriners, then I will proceed to hang out and drink and have fun. The next morning bright and early my friend kenny will be taking me to the airport and I should be having lunch with a certain ensign somewhere in the greater los angeles area.
so yeah, I have badass plans, but I would be almost as happy just to get some time off.
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
I can't fucking look up these DCN's (Design Change Notifications) when your piece of shit network won't stay fucking conntected for more than 5 seconds.
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Lunchtime rants:
Hey, human bovines waiting for food after having ordered it: There is a separate line for ordering. Get the fuck out of the way. And the rest of you in the proper line: MOVE THE FUCK UP already. I'd just as soon not be a mile away when my goddamned food is ready.
As for those of you who take all the chipotle sauce bottles to your tables, fuck you ever so much. There were over a dozen bottles at the condiment area, now there are none. You could take five fucking seconds to season your food before you go sit down and leave me the bottle, you sauce-hogging assbags.
And elevators? You suck the hardest and blow the longest. When the fucking elevator is already fucking there as I press the goddamned button, sensible elevators will helpfully stay open a couple more seconds. Not you; the button light doesn't stay on, but you hurriedly close up anyway. You need an "inspection" with a sledgehammer and some cable cutters. Asshole non-people-lifting bastard pieces of shit.
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hide, witch, hide / the good folks come to burn thee / their keen enjoyment hid behind / a gothic mask of duty - P. Kantner
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Grrr! Look, people, I'm only the developer. You need this accounts consolidation tool and I'm going to write it for you. Are we clear on this? Are we? Because you just wasted a brainstorming session talking about dumb shit that won't help me write the goddamn thing!
I don't care why you need this tool. I don't know why some accounts should be consolidated and why some shouldn't. That's not my problem. I don't care, don't care, DON'T CARE, DON'T FUCKING CARE! All I want is some insight on how to write this set of programs. You know, the kind of stuff you tell me before I lay down the first line of code. The kind of stuff you tell me now will prevent the bullshit whining when I write something to suit ME and you don't like it! If that happens, you know what I'll say?
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
And on another topic: My coworker and fellow developer can take a flying leap up his own ass! I am so sick of his shit.
He tells me that the automation routine he wrote hasn't run since December 29th. This means someone needs to manually play catch-up to do the work his automated process didn't. He had the nerve to ask me who should do that. "Is this my responsibility or yours?" He thinks it should be my responsibility because I wrote the original import/scrubbing code. I think it's his responsibility because he wrote the automation piece; you know, the part that fucking broke?!
I also think TO HELL WITH IT because the users aren't using the data on that particular server, anyway. ("We keep getting timeouts when we write SQL queries. Boo! And also: Hoo!")
And hey, fuck nut: You got picked to write the automation routine because you kept running to Boss Man with, "I don't have anything to do." Now if I don't have time--gee, I never run out of things to do; don't ask me why he does. I'm pissed off enough already--and if you've always got time on your hands ... Well, what do you think would be fair?!
Apparently he needed the time to calm down because he just called me to say, "I'll do it. I'll probably run out of things to do sooner or later so I might as well take time out to do this." Yeah. Exactly. Fucker.
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
OK, fuckwits. People who use handicap ramps are generally people who, you know, can't use the stairs. Get it? Oh, you think you do? THEN WHY ARE ALL THE FUCKING HANDICAP RAMPS SKATING RINKS???? HUH?
You just might want to consider putting same amount of effort into keeping the handicap ramps clear of ice and snow as you do the stairs! It's bad enough that I had to climb sideways-one-step-at-a-very-fucking-painful-time-with-death-grip-on-railing and now my knee is goddam three times the size it was this morning. What's worse is that the people in wheel chairs couldn't use the goddam ramp either so they had to go down to the garage and then get someone to push them up one of the fucking steep car ramps.
Oh, and those ramps were clear of snow and ice. Go figure.
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
$855? JESUS CORPSE-LOVING CHRIST! To replace a water pump on a 2004 Chevy Trailblazer? $300 for the parts? GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! I don't have that kind of money lying around right now. SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! It leaked a gallon of water-antifreeze since yesterday, so I have to get it fixed.
I looked the parts up on Autozone's website. $109 for a lifetime warranty water pump, $20 for gasket and O-ring, and $20 for a new thermostat (which goes into an orifice on the water pump of all the silly places to put a thermostat), a lot lower than $300. I expect someone that makes less than $100 an hour will do the work, perhaps me, perhaps someone else. I'm making inquiries now.
What a ripoff. To think, this shop comes recommended by AAA.
Edit: Guy on Craigslist gave me a quote to change it for $130 plus parts and antifreeze.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
This is pretty much a recycled rant, but it happened again today, so:
Are you FUCKING BLIND? Do you not see I'm eating? Shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone.
Oh, maybe you're one of those social-butterfly types who like company when they eat. I'm not. If I were, I would probably not be holed up in my office with my food and a surly look on my face. But I guess obvious clues are beyond your capacity to recognize them, being a FUCKING IDIOT and all.
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hide, witch, hide / the good folks come to burn thee / their keen enjoyment hid behind / a gothic mask of duty - P. Kantner
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Why did you just call up here to get mad at me for asking you if you'd logged off one of my computers yesterday? The only reason I asked was to make sure there wasn't an issue with the UPS it's on. I thought it was no big deal but you felt the need to be bitchy and call up here all defensive-like and say that it wasn't you after all, you just remembered you'd logged it back on yesterday before you left. OK, that's fine. We either have to ask the night crew or check the UPS. IT'S NOT A BIG FUCKING DEAL. If you like, I can give you something to be angry about.
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
Dude, wake up before you call me. I know you are talking softly so as to not wake up the sheep or goats on the other side of the bed, but Jesus fucking Christ, I can't hear you over the noise of the night air conditioner, Craig Ferguson talking to Wanda Sykes, and my tinnitus.
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Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.--W.C. Fields
Re: New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!
70 bucks, seriously? When you showed up I had already fixed the furnace myself and all you did was look over it, confirm that it was fixed, and talk on your cell phone. I totally understand some sort of charge, even if you didn't actually *do* anything but 70 bucks?!