What in the Hell Are They Doing Up There?

[livius drusus]

Squirrels in the attic are driving me insane. I don't mind the galumping when I'm up and about, but when I'm trying to get a little shut-eye they make me want to shove doorstops into my ears. It sounds like a damn wood shop up there.

Just what exactly are they doing, and do they prefer Craftsman or Makita?

[freemonkey]

You have my sympathies. Every winter a rat moves in under the house, which announces itself by gnawing on it. Its much louder than you'd imagine. Then there's Bridget, who decides its time to play, knock things over and be obnoxious in many other ways just as I'm dropping off to sleep.

Have you called anyone to come remove the squirrels?

[livius drusus]

Just the landlord's agent. She lives in the building too, so hopefully she'll be motivated to get the job done.

[Dingfod]

They're up there having gay sex. Are you okay with that?

[livius drusus]

With mitre saws and ball peen hammers? I'm against animal cruelty, remember.

[Dingfod]

Maybe it's gay-BDSM going on up there. Turn the cats loose in the attic, aren't squirrels just bushy-tailed rats?

[Clutch Munny]

Human sleep is more important than the life-plans of squirrels, in my book. As my old dad would say, time for the squirrels to take a ride on the Remington express.

[Dingfod]

I always called it "coming down with lead poisoning."

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Liv's got toys in the attic?

[Legs]

Originally Posted by livius drusus

Just what exactly are they doing ?

They're rehearsing

[livius drusus]

So when I and call them lousy punks I'm just being literal? Huh.

[Dingfod]

Them squirrel's got balls.

[pescifish]

Whatever you do, don't go up there to check it out!

[livius drusus]

Smilies teach us so much, don't they?

[The Lone Ranger]

If they're making lots of noise at night, then almost certainly what you have are flying squirrels. If I remember your general locality correctly, they'd be Southern Flying Squirrels (Glaucomys volans). Flying squirrels are the only squirrels that are nocturnal. They're cute as all get-out, but might be inclined to gnaw on electrical wires.

I've helped evict them from people's attics before. If your landlord doesn't give satisfaction, you might try calling a local university and asking to talk with a mammalogist or an ecologist. (S)he might be able to give some good advice and/or be willing to come live-trap them and relocate them.


Cheers,

Michael

[pescifish]

Originally Posted by The Lone Ranger

Flying squirrels are the only squirrels that are nocturnal. They're cute as all get-out, ....

I'd advise you to move out if they invite their friends for a party in the attic.

[Ymir's blood]

Perhaps if you give them Alka Setzer. It works on gulls, so I hear.

[JoeP]

Put out some very strong beer. Or spirit coolers, if they're gay. They'll still party, but they'll fall asleep by midnight.

[freemonkey]

Originally Posted by pescifish

I'd advise you to move out if they invite their friends for a party in the attic.