How Twitter?

[Stormlight]

Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin

It shocks me that, as vm pointed out upthread, the South African welfare billionaire who bought a car company and segregated black workers into areas dubbed "porch monkey stations" wants those lazy Twitter engineers to do "extremely hardcore" work. Of course, we can safely translate the quoted term as "twice the hours for substantially less pay."

It's the complete lack of vision that is so funny. It's not: The next months will be very hard, and we expect you to work potentially very long hours but in the end this, this and this.

No, no. It's either work 90 hours+ weeks for the rest of your life or fuck off.

What a man.

[-FX-]

Amazon just lost a trillion dollars in value. Pretty much the stock price is half what it was a year ago.










Nobody gives a single shit

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Hosanna, hosanna, Saint Elon.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
And the last one says nothing about $8.

[-FX-]

Originally Posted by viscousmemories

I don't understand how Twitter works.

[Stephen Maturin]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

It worked!

Well done, counselor! You need to give up the transactional shit and be a trial lawyer.

[specious_reasons]

Originally Posted by -FX-

Amazon just lost a trillion dollars in value. Pretty much the stock price is half what it was a year ago.

Nobody gives a single shit

Neither do you, honestly. It's a nice day when you can scold the rest of us.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Look I'm not a lawyer anymore but I feel very comfortable saying Twitter employees shouldn't agree to a contract they haven't read and can't read for weeks to come. Scoop from @MiaRSato who got the "hardcore or leave" FAQ out of Twitter -> https://t.co/TIUoowHYdd pic.twitter.com/JNbgGMdmdJ

— nilay patel (@reckless) November 17, 2022

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Putting here to try to remember to check on this upcoming piece

No matter what he does I'll be over here writing and talking with you guys. The next piece will actually be about how folks worship the wealthy, like Elon, Trump, and others. Hope to keep talking with you even if he sinks this ship before he leaves!https://t.co/QlrGkz6B13

— Read Jackson Rising by @CooperationJXN (@JoshuaPHilll) November 17, 2022

[Sock Puppet]

Born on 3rd base, tried to steal 2nd.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

"I hope that even my worst critics remain on Twitter, because that is what free speech means" https://t.co/MMvgE9Kh15 via @kate__duffy pic.twitter.com/lT59YGMBp4

— Best of Dying Twiter (@bestofdyingtwit) November 17, 2022

[ceptimus]

Had to link today's XKCD in the thread, because it shows how great Cybikos really are.

Did I mention that I own (at least) five working Cybikos?

But hey, Twitter still has more features than Tumblr.

[erimir]

Perhaps the death of Twitter will result in a new golden age, a rebirth (a renaissance, if you will) of the internet message board.

Or maybe not.

But it certainly will give me a lot of free time (I'm not an addict, I swear, I can quit whenever I want... )

[ChuckF]

Hundreds said to have opted to leave Twitter over Elon Musk ultimatum - The Washington Post

Hundreds of Twitter employees refused Thursday to sign a pledge to work longer hours, threatening the site’s ability to keep operating and prompting hurried debates among managers over who should be asked to return, current and former employees said.

The number of engineers tending to multiple critical systems had been reduced to two, one or even zero, according to people familiar with the situation who spoke on the condition of anonymity for fear of retaliation.

I just want to emphasize once again that this is very, very entertaining.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Loving people putting their Mastodon handles in there

As a result of Elon's stupid bluff today, Twitter is now missing entire teams responsible for deploy, edge, and SRE. Like, the folks who keep the lights on.

— Chad Loder - @chadloder@kolektiva.social (@chadloder) November 17, 2022

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

I just want to emphasize once again that this is very, very entertaining.

With only two "very"s, you are a master of understatement.

[JoeP]

From Twitter ‘closes offices’ after Elon Musk’s loyalty oath sparks wave of resignations | Twitter | The Guardian

On Thursday evening, the version of the Twitter app used by employees began slowing down, according to one source familiar with the matter, who estimated that the public version of Twitter was at risk of breaking during the night. Website DownDetector reported a significant uptick in user reports of issues on the site.

In an apparent jab at Musk’s call for employees to be “hardcore”, the Twitter profile bios of several departing engineers on Thursday described themselves as “softcore engineers” or “ex-hardcore engineers”.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

MASTODON! pic.twitter.com/CrRH36ZDWg

— Brittlestar (@brittlestar) November 11, 2022

[JoeP]

[JoeP]

And

Users urged to archive tweets amid rumors of Twitter implosion | Twitter | The Guardian

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Bigass thrad of large database doom:

For context, I have seen some variant of every one of these problems pose a serious threat to a billion-user application. I've even caused a couple of the more technical ones. I've been involved with triaging or fixing even more.

— Mosquito Capital (@MosquitoCapital) November 18, 2022

[erimir]

Yeah, but does this guy know about the tip button?

[fragment]

Some fun scenarios there. Especially the "what if some black hat tries x against the obvious juicy target" ones.

[Ari]

Seriously, for those with twitter, I would get ahead of the game and just assume that password is compromised.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Engineer explaining why he left:

It’s not because I want Twitter to fail or think the site is about to collapse. Some think it will, maybe but I dunno. I wasn’t in infra and those people were incredible, the systems are resilient.

Remember what happened when the queen died while SMF1 was down? Ya, nothing

— Peter Clowes (@peterclowes) November 18, 2022

thrad