Coming out - Page 3

thedoc · #51 06-01-2013, 12:31 AM

What is your opinion of statments that start "Real Men Don't . . . " and then some beer inspired nonsense.

My 3 year old grandaughter had a 'black eye' all this week, but it was just a little dark bruse under her left eye. I was telling everyone that she had gotten a 'Girly Black Eye' from the size and the way she got it, she was shaking a bottle of finger nail polish and banged her eye with it.

Beth · #52 07-02-2013, 06:55 AM

My three-year old wants to wear makeup and toe polish. He gets a kitty face and sparkly blue toes.

Beth · #53 07-02-2013, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thedoc

What is your opinion of statments that start "Real Men Don't . . . " and then some beer inspired nonsense.

My 3 year old grandaughter had a 'black eye' all this week, but it was just a little dark bruse under her left eye. I was telling everyone that she had gotten a 'Girly Black Eye' from the size and the way she got it, she was shaking a bottle of finger nail polish and banged her eye with it.

I had a black eye from dropping a phone that I had dangling over me whilst posting a kitty pic on fb.

MonCapitan2002 · #54 08-05-2013, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curses

Good for you, bey!

Plus EVERYONE cried at Ol Yeller. I swear you aren't human if that didn't spark emotion.

Should I mention that I never saw that movie? I probably wouldn't cry if I saw the movie, though as I dislike and fear dogs.

Dingfod · #55 08-07-2013, 09:17 AM

Cry for the baby deer instead then.

Oh wait, that was a different movie (The Yearling).

MonCapitan2002 · #56 08-07-2013, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lone Ranger

Congratulations!

***

For myself, I am -- so far as I can tell -- completely heterosexual...

SNIP

If being "manly" means being rude, abrasive, shallow, insensitive, misogynistic, and unable to get in touch with your own emotions, then I'm quite proud to not be a "manly man."

Oh. And just for the record: Where the Red Fern Grows has the saddest ending of any book ever. Period. End of statement.

I think a lot of what is considered masculine or feminine is more cultural than any inborn biological factors to a large degree. I wouldn't be surprised if what we consider manly nowadays won't be in a few generations.

For instance, different cultures today have different ideas of what the male ideal is. Just look at popular male protagonists in anime and manga and compare them to their counterparts in comic books and cartoons from the West. Our heroes tend to be musclebound hulks with enormous brawn while the anime and manga protagonists tend to be less aggressively masculine in appearance.

Beth · #57 08-25-2013, 06:15 AM

I am one of these cruel moms. If my son wants makeup, I paint a kitty or doggy face. If he likes a lacey thing of mine, he gets to sport it. He loves Dora and he loves Super Why on PBS. I told everyone from the start when he wanted makeup that I wouldn't enforce a gender role, although he knows he is my precious boy.

My mom is pissed, many are pissed, but I already see that his refusal to call himself a boy, and that he insists that he is a girl or a baby is something. I personally hope that this is a phase, but I don't let it show to him, and anyone else around him had better bite their tongues.

Qingdai · #58 08-25-2013, 08:44 AM

My son regularly does imaginative play that he gives birth to kittens or bunnies, just because he likes them and they are cute.
My dad still recalls his doll being taken away from him in the 1930s, there certainly is nothing wrong with boys learning to be nurturing and loving things they think are beautiful. I don't think every deviation from the cultural norm is necessarily a statement of gender or sexuality, kids also just like to play. It's the work of childhood.

viscousmemories · #59 08-25-2013, 03:47 PM

Congrats bey. I don't know if I'd have the same strength of character in the same situation.

I remember my older siblings making me up like a girl once (though I can't remember if it was clothes and makeup or just makeup) and everyone having great fun. But I also remember suggesting the game myself one day (when I was still < 7 yrs. old) and my siblings getting really mad at me for it. I'm fairly sure it was more a case of wanting my siblings to play with me (a recurrent theme in my childhood) than a desire to dress like a girl, but after that response I never suggested or seriously considered doing it again.

lisarea · #60 08-25-2013, 04:26 PM

When my son was little, he played this game called Pretty Princesses, where he and his friends (girls and boys) were pretty princesses who could transform into Power Princesses. I think this was largely spurred by the bejeweled bustier my mom gave me that was too small for me but fit him.

Some people had a problem with that. Oddly, those same people didn't seem to have a problem when he would become 50-50 Terminator for days on end sometimes. 50-50 Terminator was, as you might expect, a cyborg assassin. The Pretty Princesses were superheroes. Personally, I preferred the one where he wasn't a murderer.

And he didn't grow up to be a princess OR an evil robot. He is a well-adjusted heterosexual cisgendered adult racecar.

viscousmemories · #61 08-25-2013, 04:49 PM

This is a photo of the shelf on my desk at home. When a co-worker saw it on my phone, he said "If I didn't know better I'd think you had a young daughter." I was unsurprised and appropriately embarrassed, so I said "Why, because I like ponies?" We were interrupted at that point and the subject was dropped.

The thing is, that night I was sitting at my desk looking at these trinkets and it occurred to me that there were just as many traditionally masculine or non-gender specific trinkets on that shelf as traditionally female. It was interesting to me that neither of us really took that into account in our initial assessment.

Adam · #62 08-25-2013, 05:53 PM

One drop!

livius drusus · #63 08-25-2013, 06:36 PM

is all man, baby.

irukandji · #64 08-26-2013, 12:21 AM

well, mate... I cannot imagine what a deep breath you must have taken, both before and after your OP so I hope you are breathing easier nowadays... kudos for embracing self-awareness

all I can add to the commentary is both old yeller and where the red ferns grow would still have me blubbering like a baby... so I wont be viewing them anytime soon

Beth · #65 08-29-2013, 03:25 AM

Bey, I apologize, I commented before reading the op. I am pretty damned sure that I have met you before IRL, and you seemed manly. Isn't it awesome that a man can explore his feminine side in this day and age?! It seems so strange to me that a woman can dress as a man, but a man cannot do the counter.