Instant Pot Sucks

[lisarea]

I was making ricotta last night using the method where you reach and then maintain temperature undisturbed for 20 minutes to let the curds form. And I think to myself, "Well, that Instant Pot has sucked at everything else so far, but certainly it'll be able to automate this for me, so I don't have to stand at the stove with a thermometer in my hand constantly adjusting the heat."

I mean, this is the main thing, right? The main thing it does? Has a timer and temperature sensors to automate things like this?

Of course not. It has the technical capabilities, supposedly, but the temperature range I needed falls between the only two temperature ranges it is pre-programmed to maintain. So I cannot use it for that.

So let's step back to review the things I expected it to be able to do:

1. Make rice. It makes rice, but it comes out far too mushy. To make acceptable rice using their preset rice function, I'd need to spend a bunch of time experimenting with the ratios to get it right. Alternately, I might be able to tweak the manual settings to make rice correctly, but then it wouldn't have the fuzzy logic. Then again, if the fuzzy logic aspect were working, my rice shouldn't have come out all mushy.
   
2. Make yogurt. The second most common thing I use a multicooker for! This is how the yogurt function worked in my old one: I put the milk in, it brought it up to pasteurization temperature, it beeped, and then began the cooling process to bring it back down to a temperature that wouldn't kill cultures. Once it reached that temperature, it would beep until I added the cultures, and then I would set the culturing time, and it would beep again when it was done.
   
   This is how it works in the Instant Pot: I put the milk in, it brings it up to pasteurization temperatures, it beeps, I TURN OFF THE INSTANT POT, REMOVE THE VESSEL, AND THEN STAND AROUND WITH MY MANUAL THERMOMETER CHECKING THE TEMPERATURE UNTIL IT IS SUFFICIENTLY COOLED. Then, I add the cultures and put it back in the Instant Pot, turn it back on, and start the culturing time.
   
   This is how I make yogurt manually: I bring the milk to pasteurization temperature on the stovetop, then remove it from the stove and stand around with my manual thermometer checking the temperature until it is sufficiently cooled. Then, I add the cultures and put it in the oven with the light on and leave it there for the culturing time.
   
   Point being: The real benefit of an automated yogurt function is the COOLING TIME. It is literally less work to make yogurt manually than to do it in an Instant Pot.
   
3. Hold a specified temperature for a specified amount of time, as above. No. Not unless it is specifically pre-programmed to do so. The Instant Pot is not user programmable.
   
4. Pressure canning. I don't really have much interest in pressure cooking, because I like to be able to adjust my cooking as I go along instead of just trusting a recipe. I did think maybe I could use it to can small batches of stuff without having to get out my big pressure canner, but no go. Apparently, even the Instant Pot that specifically advertises a canning feature cannot be trusted to be safe.

I also hate that it has an attached power cord. If there is some good, end user reason for this, someone please tell me what that is, because they get in the way a lot, and if they're damaged, they're a lot more difficult to repair.

And now for the difference between me, the superior person, and the people who are always recommending Instant Pots to everyone: I fully understand that different people have different interests and needs. I understand the value in having a combination slow cooker/pressure cooker if you want to be able to follow a recipe and have it ready at a specific time. And that is fine. I think it is great that you have found a tool that works for you.

What is NOT fine is that I saw so many people making blanket recommendations and raving about all the capabilities of the Instant Pot that, when my old multicooker failed, I didn't think twice about buying one. And a lot of those people were specifically hyping up the yogurt feature, so it never occurred to me at all to question whether it automated the most annoying and attention consuming part of the process. If you've never made yogurt before, you probably do think the Instant Pot is somehow making it easier instead of harder. But you also shouldn't be making pronouncements on things you don't know anything about either, so ha ha @ you making Instant Pot yogurt like a sucker.

In conclusion: The Instant Pot sucks, fight me, maybe you suck too, and you're just mad that I'm speaking truth to power, bootlicker.