Another problem I plan to solve will be to end the confusion regarding a number commonly encountered situations and devices which hitherto have been allowed proliferate unregulated without rhyme or reason.

1. All microwave ovens will operate with the same control panel and all the buttons will do the same thing on every one, based on the controls of the microwave oven presently in my kitchen. Any and all microwave oven already in existence will be retrofitted to these specifications....

As my wife will tell you, I often have many great ideas on how to improve the world around us. However, I realize traditional political structures impose too many limitations for me to implement most if not all of my ideas. So I have come up with a new office, called World Emperor, which will once I have become World Emperor, grant me the power needed to get these things done. In much the same way that Julius Caesar saw that stupidity was ruining the world in his day and one man needed to take...