I Fought the LOL and the LOL Won

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

3CDFA7C8-6F4B-4B75-BCFD-5C36ACB8E753.png

ETA: Thrad for bench slaps, slick lolyer moves, and yes, even stories of the few remaining cops who serve and protect something other than capital.

[JoeP]

I find it hard to believe we don't already have enough lolyer thrads here.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

I wanted the title. Fite me.

[JoeP]

Entirely respectable.

If somewhat old-fashioned.

[Stephen Maturin]

Here's a dumbfuck lolyer who actually "See you next Tuesday"ed in open court.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Originally Posted by JoeP

Entirely respectable.

If somewhat old-fashioned.

And I think Matlock is quite happy to not see Giuliani's name in a thrad title.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by Kamilah Hauptmann

And I think Matlock is quite happy to not see Giuliani's name in a thrad title.

Also respectable.

[Sock Puppet]

Wrong thrad.

[Stephen Maturin]

Our firm is involved in litigation with a lolyer who's as stupid, dishonest and egomaniacal as anyone who ever lived. His house is currently in foreclosure, and our firm is involved as a creditor with a judgment lien on the house. Shortly before ours and several other judgment liens got recorded, a deed of trust (mortgage) showed up in the chain of title securing a $450,000 debt to some private person. The deed of trust was supposedly signed in 2016 but not recorded until 2020.

During a hearing back in June, a judge who had the benefit of being able to say whatever he jolly well pleases because he was retiring in a few weeks called the lawyer in question a liar in open court and told him to shut up when he tried to respond. The judge also ordered him to sit for a discovery deposition, something he'd been dodging for a long time.

During the deposition lolyer testified that the mortgagee is his sister. The debt came about in 2015-16 when the sister sold the family homestead in Nigeria for $600K US. Lolyer went to Nigeria, where he received $450K in cash. In a bag. At some unidentified hotel. No documents, not receipts, no witnesses, no nothing. Lolyer said he took the money and bought $450K worth of trucks, all of which have since been sold for scrap.

Lolyer refused to provide any contact information for his sister, and won't allow her to be deposed.

Of course, what really happened is he knew the judgment liens were coming and made up and recorded up a fake mortgage to get a place in line at the trough ahead of those dastardly judgment creditors. If the house sells for a ton of money at the foreclosure sale, and it might, he'll collect the $450 (with interest) from the sale proceeds as his sister's "attorney" and just pocket the money, along with the funds he'd get right off the top as a result of our state's rather beefy homestead exemption.

Our attorney regulation authorities are after lolyer in a big way based on shenanigans he pulled in other cases in which our firm was much more heavily involved. Those shenanigans included - naturally - document fraud.

[SharonDee]

Yes, hello?
I'd like more lolyer stories, please.

[Stephen Maturin]

I refuse to follow the Alex Jones case closely, but it seems to be a major boon to the litigation disaster tourism industry.

Jones's lawyers are true lolyers, apparently. Here is a line of questioning that drew an objection from plaintiff's counsel. It's not often - or ever, IME - that you can prompt a judge to say, "There's a million things you could object to, and they're all sustained."

Today Jones found out while on the witness stand that his lolyers accidentally sent the entire contents of his phone to plaintiffs' counsel a couple of weeks back.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Originally Posted by Stephen Maturin

Today Jones found out while on the witness stand that his lolyers accidentally sent the entire contents of his phone to plaintiffs' counsel a couple of weeks back.

:15 seconds laughing, deep breath, 15 more chuckling, sip of covfefe, shake of head, rub face:

That should be a smilie.

[Ari]

While looking up the case I was surprised to discover Jones’ is only 48, looking like he’s been hit a few times by the Brietbart Heart attack gun.

[Ari]

Now I’m no fancy big city Lolyer and neither are they! Jones’ council would like to ask for a mistrail on account of oopsies and wanting a do over. It’s 20 minutes long but it gets going fast.

Alex Jones Defense Files Emergency Motion -...

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Alleged lawyer gives analysis of this Big Bang event of LoLyerism.

From a trial lawyer's perspective, this short hearing on Alex Jones' emergency motion to suppress the contents of his cell phone is amazeballs. Short thread:
1/ https://t.co/thxNU7hu2i

— M.S. Bellows, Jr. (@msbellows) August 4, 2022

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Turns out, Alex Jones attorney isn't a real lawyer.

He's a crisis actor.

— Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) August 4, 2022

[viscousmemories]

My favorite part was when the judge was all "were you serious about requesting a mistrial? I mean it's like the 14th time."

[Pyrrho]

He's already been grifting. These penalties won't cost him a dime.

[Pyrrho]

https://twitter.com/jjmacnab/status/1555672491116204033

JJ MacNab
@jjmacnab
Combined with the compensatory damages, $49,300,000.

[Stephen Maturin]

I'm reading that the cap on recovery of exemplary damages in Texas is [2x economic damages] + [noneconomic damages, not to exceed $750,000]. Hopefully there's a vehicle for busting the cap that applies to this case.

[Pyrrho]

I dunno. I am not a lolyer but I've seen them on TV.

[Pyrrho]

Twitter thrad here:

https://twitter.com/KlasfeldReports/...72426482114563

In other news, Roger Stone is appealing for donations to help poor Alex.

[ShottleBop]

Someone posted this to a real estate law discussion group today:

I found this provision in a Lease I was reviewing. I wonder if it is there to see if anyone is reading the Lease on behalf of the Tenant.


45. END OF THE WORLD. The occurrence of the end of the world prior to the complete performance by Tenant of the terms, covenants and conditions of this Lease, including full payment of Minimum Rent, Additional Rent, and any other amounts which remain outstanding at the time of said occurrence, shall permit Landlord to accelerate and demand payment for all charges which remain as an obligation of Tenant under this Lease, and Landlord's collection of monies due from Tenant may be pursued by any immediately available procedure. For all purposes hereunder or until Landlord provides notice to the contrary, such notice to be given to Tenant by the then prevailing medium of communication. Landlord shall be deemed aligned with the Forces of Light and Tenant shall be deemed allied with the Powers of Darkness notwithstanding either party's final ordered placement.

[viscousmemories]

Looks like the lawyer has already figured out a possible way around the cap?

Attorney who just won his lawsuit vs Alex Jones:

“There is going to be a large set of plaintiffs dividing up the corpse of Infowars. … That could get very, very dangerous for Mr. Jones, because there is going to be a new level of financial scrutiny.” pic.twitter.com/6EzLQXcLwS

— Bill Grueskin (@BGrueskin) August 6, 2022

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

How an O.C. lawyer's bragging prompted a judge to throw out winning malpractice verdict