The Official Free Thought Talk Forum and Chat Emporium Songbook

[livius drusus]

The Official Free Thought Talk Forum and Chat Emporium Songbook begins with what became a watershed in the history of song parodies: .

I had been offline a great deal due to circumstances beyond my control, so when a post from me engendered Casa Rosada-like excitement, Livita, the version of the great Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice musical Evita, was born. Since I refuse to even acknowledge the existence of a certain appalling movie starring a certain range-less pop singer, I have made the composer names links to crappy but serviceable versions of the glorious original Broadway cast. You can find all the lyrics to the original songs here.

"Oh What a Circus" by ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed July 17th, 2008:

Oh What a Circus

Oh what a circus oh what a show
Freethought Forum has gone to town
Over the dearth of an admin called livius d
We've all gone crazy
Posting all day and posting all night
Falling over ourselves to get all
Of the smilie codes right

Oh what an admin! That's how to be!
When you're writing your board policies
You probably should steal some from livius d
It's quite an absence
And bad for the in a pretty direct way
It's hard for vm to keep all
of the spammers away

But who is this livius drusus?
Why all this daily relentless countdown?
What kind of mod-ess posted among us?
How can we ever get by without her?

She had her moments, she gave some glares
The best show around was the mob
and the sight of the girly gang thanking themselves
And that's still around now
As soon as we get tired of my trollish pique
We're all gonna see and how
She hasn't posted for weeks!

"Don't Cry for Me Freethought Forum" by livius drusus and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed July 18th, 2008.

Don't Cry for Me Freethought Forum

This won't be easy, you'll think it's lame
When I try to explain how I feel
After all of these months of staccato posts
You won't believe me
You'll think me the ghost of an admin you knew
Who's barely got XXXV
While Crumbles is hot on her heels

I had to mind my bidness, I had to deal
Couldn't spend all those hours posting quips
Looking at the control panel, scrubbing out all the spam
So I went wandering
Puttering around, getting everything done
But nothing amused me at all
I never expected it to

Don't cry for me Freethought Forum
The truth is I never left you
All through my quiet days
My nonexistence
I d at all y'all
Just from a distance

And as for chickens, as for their butts
I had to thank Emma and co.
Though it seemed to the members they were all I cared for
They're just so precious
Not more important than you guys, I swear
But srsly how cute are they?
A thanks click could only be fair

Don't cry for me Freethought Forum
The truth is I never left you
All through my quiet days
My nonexistence
I d at all y'all
Just from a distance

Too much wall of text?
You're not used to hearing me yack and yack
But all you have to do is click username - Ignore
And it's like I'm not back.

"Spammer's Lament" by ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed July 18th, 2008:

Spammer's Lament

I don't expect my new account to last for long
never fool my self that I'll sell NIKE SHOE
Being used to banning I anticipate it
But all the same I haet it - wouldn't you?

So what happens now?
Another C1@L1S in another hall
So what happens now?
BRAND NEW 0NLINE SH0PPING MALL
Where am I going to?
Probably another forum like you always do
Where am I going to?

Time and time again I've said that I've got deals
That you can get Adobe Photoshop
That it's genuine and true
But every time I offer it the admins ban me
I can't seem to get past the
moderation queue

So what happens now?
Another C1@L1S in another hall
So what happens now?
BRAND NEW 0NLINE SH0PPING MALL
Where am I going to?
Probably another forum like you always do
Where am I going to?

Call in three days time and I'll be back I know
Well maybe not for long, but I'll spam on anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of each net location
But that's no HOT TEEN M@STURBATI0N
H3R3 AND N0W!!1!1

So what happens now?
Another C1@L1S in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your avatar off another wall
Where am I going to?
Probably another forum like you always do
Where am I going to?

"And the Lolcats Kept Lol'ing In" by ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed July 19th, 2008:

And the Lolcats Kept Lol'ing In

And the lolcats kept lol'ing in from the intarwebs
Watser? starts a thread with two thousand cat replies
Now you may feel we should stick with some SERIOUS BUSINESS
But that's not the point my friends
When the lolcats keep lol'ing in, you don't say meow
Think of all the posters guaranteed some good thanks now
FF's called the funneh to it, opened up the floor
Never been a forum like the Freethought Forum!



Would you like to try photo manipulation?
Got a kitteh pic in a funny situation?
FF and its lolcats thread can make your dreams come true
Here's all you have to do my friends
Take your pic, add some words - you can photoshop or gimp it
Put it up in the thread and should some 'er click it
You will get a lot of thanks, a line or even two
Name me any place that lol's as much as Freethought Forum!



And the lolcats kept rolling out in all directions
To the smart, to the leet, to the smilie horde of all professions
Now cynics claim the meme is dead, the funneh's gone away
But that's not the point my friends
When the lolcats keep lol'ing out you don't heed rancor
You can tell you've done well by the happy grateful thankers
Feedback only slows things down, comments get in the way
Never been a forum loved as much as Freethought Forum!

"Waltz for and " by livius drusus, ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed in chat on July 20th, 2008:

Waltz for Livita and Chuck

:
Tell me before I log out of your site
Before I say you can all kiss my ass
Forgive my impertinent behavior
But how long do you think
This circle jerk can last?
Tell me before I go start up a new board
There's one thing I never got clear
How can you claim you're our leader
When those who oppose you are ignored or censored or get called insincere?

:
Tell me before you storm off in a huff
Before joining the sad spinoff brigade
How can one admin like me, say,
Alter the jackbooted way some staff behave?
Tell me before I ban you and your high horse
Just what you expect me to do?
I don't care what the angry tards say
I'm not an admin for them
But to give all my worshipful members a multi-frame smiley or two

and :
There is whining ever around, incremental, bliss ninny losers and trolls detrimental

:
So what are the chances of any advances?
I'd say low
Better give in, let the terrorists win
Blame the Jews
and play Halo

:
Watch me as I go find worthier posters
And build my own awesome mod team
Don't think that you'll be invited
We'll steal all your users from this clique and that clique
And leave this oppressive regime!

:
Have fun as you're writing your handbooks and guidelines
At first you'll be deafened with cheers
I'll watch as the fuse is ignited -
An edit turns into the world's greatest problem
From mod revolution to board dissolution
To grudges that last for one hundred years!

and :
There is whining ever around, incremental, bliss ninny losers and trolls detrimental

:
So go, if you're able, round up the unstable
And lei them
Stew in your spite at some tottering site
but not here, dear
Is that clear, dear?

"Sly, lying, abhorred" by ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed December 15th, 2008:

Sly, lying, abhorred

Sly, lying, abhorred
So dumb; an angsty teen?
A weak, pitiful thing
Of meager talents
A cross between some moron in a chatroom and Ayn Rand.

You were just a /b/chan tard
Cussing and sniping
old meme reciting

Sly, lying, ignored
Did you believe in your wildest moments
All this could be yours
That you'd become
The troll to troll them all?

Were there lulz in your eyes
When you logged in that night?
From the cams where you child-stalk
From your proxy detectable
Don't look now, banhammer's about to fall

Sly, lying, ignored
What happens now?
Whom do you goad from here?
For someone brand new to the board
The view is not exactly clear
A shame you did it all in twenty posts

You've got a history now
Nothing can shield you
Now they've revealed you

Bye, lying, abhorred
I hope you come to terms with bantown
So blatant so stupidly
Jejune is not the wisest thing to be

You won't care if they hate you
It's been done before
You'll despair if they ban you
You'll be drained of all energy
All the trolls they've shitcanned would agree.

Sly, lying, abhorred
I've got some flames
But they're the lamest
My story's quite usual -
vocal churl posts cock, gets rapid ban.

I’ll be back in the same place
Wasting admin time
With my sock I’ll be plucky
And one thing I'll say for me: I know how to evade an IP scan.

[Dingfod]

♫ I'm a Dingfod,
A do or die,
A real live member of
Joined about the 4th of July ♪

♪ I've used a
He's one joy
came to to town,
Just to show li'l
I am a boy ♫

[livius drusus]

Next is a stirring rendition of the immortal Bond theme song "Goldfinger," created by Sock Puppet in response to an incident Demimonde relayed wherein she kicked a classmate in the bewb during a demonstration of a particularly silly walk.

"Boobkicker" by Sock Puppet and John Barry, composed September 29, 2009:

Boobkicker

Boobkicker!

She's the one, the one with deadly feet.
A spider's feet.
Such a cold kicker.
Beckons you, to enter her range of stomp.
But don't go in.
Golden words she will paw in your ear, but her silly walk can't disguise what you fear.
For a student girl knows when she's kicked her, it's the kick of boob, from Mrs. Boobkicker.

Pretty girl, beware of her foot of gold.
This foot is cold.
Golden words she will paw in your ear, but her silly walk can't disguise what you fear.
For a student girl knows when she's kicked her, it's the kick of boob, from Mrs. Boobkicker.
Pretty girl, beware of the Python noob.
Don't be a rube.
She kicks only boob.
Only boob.
She kicks boob.
She kicks only boob.
Only boob.

She kicks boob.

Doubtless inspired by Sock's instameme, shortly thereafter Demimonde would create her own masterpiece when she was still a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed newb enjoying her first Secret Santa.

"Santa Babby" by Demimonde and Philip Springer, composed November 27th, 2009:

Santa Babby

Buh-bum dink Buh-bum dink Buh-bum dink Buh-bum Buh-bum Buh- bum dink

Santa babby, just slip some candy under the tree, for me
Though I am a newb girl
Santa babby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa babby, I’ll try to make this easy on you: a clue.
I do love a good book.
Santa babby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed,
Think of all the ers that I haven't kissed
Next year it is true I won’t be new
Will you grant my Christmas wish?

Santa babby, I want red wine, re-gifting is fine - don’t mind.
Been an angel all year
Santa babby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa honey, one little thing I really need, warpspeed
A hand me down sewing machine,
Santa babby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with some earrings and things,
Anything shiny, really.
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Underneath my chirstmas tree,
Give me funny things that you can find for free
Who you are, I haven’t a clue
Let's see if you really know me

Santa babby, forgot to mention some other stuff, enough,
I do like a surprise,
Santa babby, so send me something you think I’d like.

Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry, tonight.

[BrotherMan]

[livius drusus]

Leesifer took a spin on the dance floor, ambitiously seeking to create a fully musical. Although the production unfortunately was never completed (for which I Leesifer's Uterus), her initial forays stand on their own.

"Addicted to Chat" by Leesifer and Robert Palmer, composed on September 13th, 2009:

Addicted to Chat

Your lights are on, and youre in chat
Your mind is not your own
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Another post is what it takes

You cant sleep, you cant eat
Theres no doubt, youre in deep
Your throat is tight, you cant breathe
Another post is all you need

Whoa, you like to think that youre immune to the chat, oh
Yeah

Its closer to the truth to say you cant get enough, you
Know you're

Gonna have to face it, youre addicted to chat

You see the signs, but you can't read
Youre typing at a different speed
You keyboard beats in double time
Another post and youll be mine, a one track mind

You cant be saved
Chatting on is all you crave
If theres some left for you
You dont mind if you do

Whoa, you like to think that youre immune to the chat, oh
Yeah

Its closer to the truth to say you cant get enough, you
Know you're

Gonna have to face it, youre addicted to chat

Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat
Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat
Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat
Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat
Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat

Chat solo (once around)

Your lights are on, but you're in chat
Your will is not your own
Youre heart sweats and teeth grind
Another post and youll be mine

Whoa, you like to think that youre immune to the chat, oh
Yeah

Its closer to the truth to say you cant get enough, you
Know youre

Gonna have to face it, youre addicted to chat

Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat
Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat
Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat
Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat
Might as well face it, youre addicted to chat

"Over At The enstein Place" by Leesifer and Richard O'Brien, composed September 17th, 2009:

Over At The :ff:enstein Place

In the cloaka darkness
Of the secret forum
Burning bright
There's a guiding star
But you need a good avatar

There's a post
Over at the enstein place

There's a post
Posted in the secretplace

There's a post, post
In the cloaca of 's private life

The darkness must go
Down the cloaca of 's modding
Flow moderators slow
Let the sun and light come streaming
Into , into

There's a post
Over at the enstein place

Posted in the secret place
There's a post, a post

In the cloaca of 's private life

[Sock Puppet]

I composed this magnum opus for that unappreciative and hateful Brimshack, upon the occasion of his lamenting his own irretrievable geekishness.

I give you "Brimmy The Geek Boy" by Frankie "Half-Pint" Jaxon, Cab Calloway and Sock Puppet.

Brimmy The Geek Boy

This here's the story 'bout Brimmy the geek boy,
He was a pen 'n' paper RPG meek boy.
He was the saddest geek in chain mail
But ol' Brim had a heart as big as a whale.

A Hidee hidee hidee hi
Oh dee oh dee oh dee oh
Hee dee hee dee hee dee hee
Ah dee ah dee ah dee ah

He messed around with a bloke so pomo
He loved him though he wasn't a homo
He took him down to the gaming thread
And he showed him how to mess with their heads

Hidee hidee hidee hi
Oh oh oh oh
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oh ho ho ho

He had a dream about the admin of the forum
She gave him props to preserve decorum
She gave him a thread to vent his spleen
A geeky topic to show off e-peen

Hidee hidee hidee hidee hidee hidee hi
Hodee hodee hodee hodee hodee hodee oh
Skeedle a booka diki biki skeedly beeka gookity woop
A booriki boriki booriki Hoy

She gave him her smiley codes and her admin hammers
Each logon he made banned a dozen spammers
He had a million accounts full of members and trolls
He sat around and posted a million polls

Hidee hidee hidee hi
Hooh whoaa oh oh whoa
Hidee hidee hidee hi

Poor Brim, Poor Brim, Pooooooorrrr Brriiiiiiimmmmmmm!!!!

(The ovation at the end is the bow taken by the ghost of Cab, not myself.)

[Iacchus]

Iron Butterfly - In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (Studio...

[Iacchus]

What makes you think my posting was not a parody? ...

[Sock Puppet]

This thread is about song parodies composed by members, Iacchus. It's not about posting whatever youtube song happens to strike your fancy. Let alone about posting them twice.

ETA: feel free to delete this poast if the previous two are moved to the Music Videos thrad or whatevs.

[livius drusus]

A new era of songery dawned with the arrival of some highly entertaining Nazis. Hoss brought us all together in a rousing finale from A Congoid Line which, though incomplete, is entirely great, much like Michelangelo's unfinished slave sculptures.

"One" by Sock Puppet, ChuckF, livius drusus, mickthinks and Marvin Hamlisch, composed March 2, 2010:

One

Sock:
One. singular sensation ... every goosestep he takes ...

Chuck:
One, dysgenic population, unprepared for earthquakes

livius:
One heil and suddenly nobody else will do

mickthinks:
.... EINNNNNNNNN

volk ein reich ein fuhrer ....

But it was our most committed racist and anti-semite, the one and only Sovereign/Wonderbread Leotard who in his triumphant pre-op, post-brain cancer return as Sophia would inspire a veritable aural tapestry.

"Don't stop deceivin'" by ChuckF and Neal Schon (with a wee chorus tacked on by yours truly), composed on February 7th, 2011.

Don't stop deceivin'

Just a shiksa girl
Who can only browse with Tor
She took heptagon as her nom de guerre

Just a shmendrick goy
No rape island to exploit
He had a swollen brain and girl's underwear

A transcript from a lame chat room
Gonna post some brain scans soon
Not just trans, he's his own white knight
he goes on and on and on an on

Cansarz raging, making him a pedophile
He chemofisted through his plight
Semites, meatholes, all the butterflies in England
Typing Russian, but not right

Working hard to show her skill
But nobody thinks she's real
Posting anything and sometimes twice
The same old lines
Some wear thin, some amuse
Most of them are about Jews
Oh the bullshit never ends
it goes on and on and on

Don't stop deceivin'
Constantly be squealin'
Semites, meatholes

Perplexed by Sophia's Jewrettes Syndrome, erimir asked how he was to know who exactly got to be a Jew Dog in the Sophia cosmology. Adam explained it in the best way he knew how: through song.

"The Hannukah Song" by Adam Gorden and Adam Sandler, composed on March 15th, 2011:

The Hannukah Song

When you feel like the only kid in town without a strong race soul, here's a list of people who are Jewish, so cue the honor roll:

Qingdai and chunks light the Menorah,
So do JoeP, Naruto, and our own Kyuss Appollah

Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli,
TR mod davidm, LadyShea, and Ari

MuleBear is half Jewish; Sonoma half too,
Put them together - what a fine lookin' Jew!

You don't need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock
Cause you can spin the dreidel with Stephen Maturin and Sock - both Jewish!

Put on your yalmulka, it's time for Hanukkah,
The preacher of a flock of Lutheran-i-cahs celebrates Hanukkah.

Poor erimir - not a Jew!
But guess who is...Watser? is, and Gonzo too (they converted)

We got Nullifidian, and wei whose daughter's stabby
Leesifer's Uterus is a quarter Jewish - not too shabby!

Some people think that Ebenezer Scrooge is,
Well, he's not, but everyone who gargles Chuck's spooge is!

So many Jews are here with liv
Brandon isn't, but I heard his tumor is

Tell your friend Heptagonica, it's time to celebrate Hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah.

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy
Hanukkah! Happy Hanukkah!

Incensed by Chuck's wicked "hept isn't real" burn, Sophia finally took a stand against his abuse. "Sooner or later," he said, "I'm going to make you wish you got holocausted." There was only one response possible.

"Sooner or Later" by livius drusus and Stephen Sondheim, composed March 15th, 2011:

Sooner or Later

Sooner or later your kampf will be mein.
Sooner or later, you hear me Fuckstein?
ChuckF, it's time that you face it,
I always get my kike.

Sooner or later you're gonna be fried.
Sooner or later there's nowhere to hide.
ChuckF, it's time, so why spend it in attics?
Forget the dogmatics.

ChuckF, you're mine on a platter,
I always get my kike.

But if you insist, Chuck, the challenge delights me.
The more you resist, Chuck, the more it excites me.
And no one I've gassed, Chuck, ever fights me again.
If you're on my list, it's just a question of when.

When I get a yen, then ChuckF, Amen.
I'm counting to ten, and then ...

I'm gonna gas you like nothing you've known.
I'm gonna gas you right down to the bone.
Sooner is better than later and n!gger,
My r!gor will suck.

This time I'm not only getting, I'm gassing my Chuck.

Undaunted, Chuck replied in kind.

"I'll Make a Kike Out of You" by ChuckF and Cole Porter, composed on March 15th, 2011:

I'll Make a Kike Out of You

My story is much too sad to be told
But practically everything - they just read it and lol'd
I got this reception for views I embrace
When I'm up on a posting spree
Fighting vainly the old jewry
And I everywhere look and see
That onerous race

I've got ideas to explain
Hey, Rosenthals and descendants of Saul:
I'll finally break the taboo
And I'll make a kike
Out of you

Some may know Jews from Ukraine
I'm sure that if I got even one whiff
I'd abhor them terrifically too
And I'll make a kike
Out of you

I call you "kike" every time I see
You logically outperform me
I call you "kike" 'cause it's clear to see
You obviously should not outscore me

I call you "kike" with disdain -
Patriarch lies from your slanderous tribe
That's why I think you're probably a Jew

So I'll make a kike
Out of you

Sadly, this great burst of creativity would end all too soon when Sophia found it impossible to stop pasting entire articles. After lying to me about having gotten permission to paste an article from the Wall Street Journal and another from PBS, I asked him to prove that his favorite racialist scientician, J. Philippe Rushton, had indeed given him permission to paste a whole article of his by forwarding me the putative email in which said permission was extended. When the email never materialized, Sophia was shown the door with a song.

"Tik Tok" by livius drusus and Ke$ha, composed on March 28th, 2011:

Tik Tok

Wake up in the morning, no mail from J. Philippe
FF masses I'll kick your asses, then I'll blow this shitheap
Before I leave, I bequeath to you Jew rape-o-crats
Hottentot beave and the blight of hardcore Russian hax

Haredi cow manure I'll expose (pose)
Mocking my cansarz blows (blows)
Proves you're all psycho hos (hos)
Fist-shooping, preying on my OCDs,
There's no rape you won't appease
Here, doesn't this mohel look sleazy?

Last stop 'fore the chop
This incarnation was a flop
S'aright, I'm still white
Watch me exit stage right
Tik tok ban will drop
My new d'Islan won't stop, no-oh-oh-uh-oh oh-oh-uh-oh

Last stop 'fore the chop
This incarnation was a flop
S'aright, I'm still white
Watch me exit stage right
Tik tok ban will drop
My new D'Islan won't stop, no-oh-oh-uh-oh oh-oh-uh-oh

[Ymir's blood]

Have a Good Day! - Freethought Forum


Pogues - Boys From the County Hell

On the twelfth day of Christmas it was snowing
It was snowing worse than anything that I have ever seen
I drank ten pints of nog and I flipped all the people off
And I wish that all this snow would stop falling down on me

And its lend me ten pounds, Ill buy you a drink
And Frosty wake me early in the morning

At the time I was working for a fatman
And he was the jolliest bastard that you have ever seen
And to miss a single child would grieve him awful sore
And he was a miserable bollocks and a bitch's bastard's whore

And its lend me ten pounds, Ill buy you a drink
And Frosty wake me early in the morning

I recall we took care of him one Christmas
We got him out the back and we broke his fucking balls
And maybe that was dreaming and maybe that was real
But all I know is I left that place without a penny or fuck all

[livius drusus]

Sack, thank you for contributing your excellent Brimshack composition. If I've missed any other masterpieces, please to post!

eta xpost with Ymir's blood awesome Christmas carol.

[livius drusus]

It was Gonzo who, stuffing every local meme into one magnum opus, brought the songbook to a pulsating climax and drove me to finally make this compilation.

"Bort Didn't Start the Fire" by Gonzo and Billy Joel, composed on November 8th, 2011:

Bort Didn't Start the Fire

Ernie Lundquist, Girly Gang, Town Crier , Jive Turkey
Brain Tumor, Doris Dumbass, prolapsed rectums too

Johnson, Branden Orr, Tim Brewer, pure vision
Bat Poland , Super Poland , half troll

Rape Island, lolhog , , post modern
pomo, Livita and "Tomb of Dracaena"

The Editor, lIVIUS, I agree with Qingdai
Oh me too, chemofist, and Leesifer's Uterus

Bort didn't start the fire!
It was always burning,
since has been turning
Bort didn't start the fire
No he didn't light it
But he tried to fight it

Checkmate Atheists!, goats on fire , proto-überGorden
Bolts of lightning from the sun, weekend administration

Let's poke velvetdoughnuts with a stick
Losing Face, Gaining Face, Pibble has just mauled your Face

Bort didn't start the fire!
It was always burning,
since has been turning
Bort didn't start the fire
No he didn't light it
But he tried to fight it

Chuck's Mom, Brezhnev, Mockie Mocking, Parroting
butthurt , noob rules, stapler restoration

Luxembourg , It's so small, Twistedcykill
testuser, --, meltdown @ thirty centishakes

Boob Kicker, Big Glare , surrender monkey, Benelux Mafia
Heptagon, Chat logs, library!'s a no go

11:11 , Sammich, knife wielding weilets
tummy tadpoles, Sovereignism, I think Watser? is Belgian

fuck this song is long...

Bort didn't start the fire!
It was always burning,
since has been turning
Bort didn't start the fire
No he didn't light it
But he tried to fight it

NBLs, Lutherans, Shitstorm Meatspin
Remoras abide, Porn from Secret Santa,
OMG CRUMB WTF, Cock Shots,
List Next

RONPAUL, aqua buddha, monkey butt secks
Russian Mob, blown away, what else do I have to say

Bort didn't start the fire!
It was always burning,
since has been turning
Bort didn't start the fire
No he didn't light it
But he tried to fight it

Pretend Ignore, Turtle Porn , Branden Orr, back again
Name burns, secret forums, Butterflygate, steam punk
Never Forget Poland , [Thanks] for the Hitler
Banned for death threats, MONKEY CLOWN PENIS

It's 4:20! , Bunny Thrust , addiction,
Privilege Posters, FUCK YOU ALL,
We welcome you to the mob, Cum gargling is the law,
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Bort didn't start the fire!
It was always burning,
since has been turning
Bort didn't start the fire
No he didn't light it
But he tried to fight it

Bort didn't start the fire
But when Bort has been banned
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...?

[curses]

[erimir]

For Jerome's thread about how great the poor have it, I set this to the tune of Miley Cyrus's Party in the U.S.A.

Originally Posted by erimir

So I put my cordless phone up
They're playin' Xbox
The fridge is runnin' all day
Chillin' my food like yeah
Watchin' TV like yeah

I turn my air up
Stereo's playin' my song
Yeeeeeeeah-eee-yeee-yeeeeah
It's poverty in the USA
Yeeeeeeeah-eee-yeee-yeeeeah
It's poverty in the USA

That is, I think, the only contribution I'll have to make to this thrad.

[Clutch Munny]

I'm sure I have a few entries in this category, but danged if I can recall them. The only one I could dig up by exhaustive serial search so far was this take on "Down Under":

I met a giant from Cair Paravel
He was 12 feet tall, his odor terribel.
I said, "Are the beavers among us?"
But he just smiled and groped for his Mr Tumnus.

(And he said...)

I come from the land of Narnia
Where lions talk and witches darn ya
And the turkish delight turns to tar in ya
Apologetics we're larnin' ya

[Ymir's blood]

I've had a number of snippets, such as '...As Bond's Dead' and 'Where Have All the Heathers Gone?' but they probably aren't worth linking to for not being complete.

[Stephen Maturin]

And then there's The Sovereign Shuffle by some loathsome shyster and Peter Quinn/Jump 'N the Saddle, composed July 10, 2010.

[Iacchus]

Originally Posted by curses

Hey, I like that! [thanks]

[ChuckF]

I just remembered a couple more I did. The ChuckF/Clutch joint here:

Originally Posted by ChuckF

Oh shrimpers yes they sue I
over non-negligent oily drip
nanny state going to force I
liability to admit
but my brand was made strong
by the hand of the free market
we forward in oil exploration
triumphantly
Won't you help to sing
these songs of freedom?
Because all I ever have
moratorium songs

Originally Posted by Clutch Munny

Emancipate yourselves from metaphorical slavery;
None but oilselves are owed our cash.
Keep an eye on atomic energy,
'Cause now we look like we suck worse ass.
How long shall they escrow our profits,
While our shills just stand and look?
Except for that Texan hero dude
Who's never even read a book

Won't you help to sing
these songs of freedom
'cause all I ever have
moratorium songs

And a song about whitey from here:

Originally Posted by ChuckF

Who's the white patent lawyer
with a fax machine and a nervous tic?
(Jeff!)
Yes indeedy!

Who is the man
That would drive a hybrid to reduce his fuel expenses?
(Jeff!)
Do you believe that?

Who's the guy that won't freak out
When he finds a little blood in his stool?
(Jeff!)
Precisely!

You see, this fellow Jeff has mild hemmor--
(Get more fiber)
But I'm talkin' about Jeff
(He should have that looked at)

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him or really needs to
(White Jeff)

[erimir]

There was one that was a parody of "Where It's At"...

[lisarea]

Oh hey, that was me and Beck.

There's a destination a little up the road
From the habitations and the towns we know
A place we saw the welfare po,
Coffee makers with their fresh brewed flow

Pulling out AC and food stamp handouts
Two turntables and a microphone
Bottles and cans and just clap your hands and just clap your hands

Welfare state!
I got two turntables and a microphone
Welfare state!
I got two turntables and a microphone
Welfare state!
I got two turntables and a microphone
Welfare state!
I got two turntables and a microphone

Take me home in my ODB limo
(That was a good tax break)

Pick yourself up off the side of the dirty sidewalks
With your cable TV and your whip-flash Xbox,
Members only, in plus sizes
Move through the room like Mercedes drivers
Shine your shoes with your microwaved blues
Welfare queens with golden parachutes
Passing the dutchie from coast to coast
Let the man with no job have the most

show spoiler

Ha ha, I changed it a little just now. It was messed up even more before.

[BrotherMan]

At the behest of the musical director:

Freethought Jungle

wee dah dee dee dah dee dah dee dee
a wee um bumb a-waaay

wee dah dee dee dah dee dah dee dee
a wee um bumb a-waaay

In the forum, the free-thought forum the bears they sleep tonight.
In the forum and the chat emporium the bears they sleep tonight.

Ho! Ho!

wee dah dee dee dah dee dah dee dee
a wee um bumb a-waaay

wee dah dee dee dah dee dah dee dee
a wee um bumb a-waaay

In the girly gang, the thanksing girly gang the bears they sleep tonight.
For the garglers, the ChuckF cum garglers the bears they sleep tonight.

wee dah dee dee dah dee dah dee dee
a wee um bumb a-waaay

wee dah dee dee dah dee dah dee dee
a wee um bumb a-waaay

FUCK YOU ALL and good cancer also the bears they sleep tonight.
FUCK YOU ALL and good cancer also the bears they sleep tonight.

Ho! Ho!

a-wee mah way a-wee mah way a-wee mah way a-wee mah way
a-wee mah way a-wee mah way a-wee mah way a-wee mah way
a-wee mah way a-wee mah way a-wee mah way a-wee mah way
a-wee mah way a-wee mah way a-wee mah way a-wee mah way

[livius drusus]

Bort started it here and I harangued him to flesh it out further. The original is, of course, "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by Solomon Linda.

The bears sleep for your paean to the sleeping bears, Bort.

[Pan Narrans]

I made this little song for the countdown thread:

Originally Posted by Pan Narrans

There is a thread on the
the Countdown from One Million
and it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
and god, I know I'm one.

The admin was a smilie queen,
MV on her crown.
But for that number I don't care,
cause it's not counting down.

Now the only thing a counter needs
is a number for his turn.
And the only time he's satisfied
is with a good nameburn.



Oh mothers tell your children
not to do what I have done;
spend your time with numbers and smilies
in the Countdown from One Million.

Well, I got one eye on the count
the other on Quick Reply.
I'm counting down, down to one,
and will, untill I die.

Well there is a thread on the
the Countdown from One Million
and it's been the ruin of many a poor boy
and god, I know I'm one.