New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

[Dingfod]

Originally Posted by teasasue

fucking shit man I just left the movie store and they only had 1 of the 6 movies I need for tomorrow

Wait right there for them. No, really, wait.

Originally Posted by vremya

Funking asshole of a boss calling me on a Saturday morning and asking why I made a mistake - how the fuck am I supposed to answer that? Because I felt like it? Because I enjoy getting calls on the weekend that make me feel like an idiot? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FINDING THIS OUT NOW RATHER THAN TWO WEEKS AGO WHEN I ACTUALLY PUT THE DAMN DOCUMENT TOGETHER

Even worse: the boss wants you to tell them why someone else made a mistake.

"Uh, I don't know, they're stupid?"

[Nullifidian]

I fucking LOATHE push-polling. It's even worse when you do kind of agree with the position they're pushing.

I just took a call from some Democrat-affiliated focus group thing, where they started in on whether we should revise our property tax law so that it taxes corporations proportionately with small businesses and individuals. In principle, there's nothing wrong with that. The existing law doesn't fit corporations very well and thus individual property owners and small businesses pay an outsize proportion of property taxes compared to corporations.

Nevertheless, when I hear how corporations are not paying "their fair share" and how individuals and small businesses are subsidizing the corporations' tax burden, and then I'm asked whether I favor closing these "tax loopholes", then I get a little ticked off. Let me guess, if I say "no" that means that I'm in favor of rampant unfairness and grinding individuals and small businesses into the dust just to give preference to the corporate hegemon. And I would no doubt also be implicated in wanting to make fur coats out of the hides of adorable little puppies and pushing old ladies into the street rather than helping them cross safely.

I do agree that if you're going to have property taxes, you should make them as equitable as possible, but if were to say "yes" (of course it's a yes-or-no question) then I would be legitimizing this crude, manipulative tactic.

So I just hung up instead. Life's too short to waste on this bullshit.

[Caligulette]

I hate Saturdays. I hate them hate them hate them. I hate them when I have plans because then I feel like my time is infringes upon, I hate them when I don't because then I feel like I should be doing something. I hate having to have whatever plans do get made revolve around the tastes of a 6 and an 8 year old. I'd like to actually fucking sleep past six AM without the fucking is it time to get up yet crap every fucking Saturday. I'd like to not have to give people time outs and I'd like to just have a quiet time of it and read a fucking book. There is always just enough crap going on to keep things from actually taking off concentration-wise.

Plus - I like to wrap gifts, don't get me wrong, but I hate having to buy stuff. Plus it's Star Wars-related. And I had to go to a store on Saturday, which I already hate,day-wise.

PLUS I feel like a freak when I'm around groups of parents and I have to go to a birthday party full of them. Today. Saturday.

[Ymir's blood]

I always hated birthday parties when I was a child. So glad when I finally told my parents to stop throwing them for me.

[teasasue]

Originally Posted by Dingfod

Wait right there for them. No, really, wait.

I would have but they only had 1 period they were not going to get it in. I went to another movie store and they had 3 more so I have 4 of the 6.

[teasasue]

I hate fucking selfish people who only think about themselves. Guess what wake the fuck up, life is not all bout you. If and when you finally realize that it will be too late because the people you have ignored when they needed you the most will not be there for you ever again like that have been in the past. A true friend is there for you, a selfish fuck is only there when it benefits them and they are getting something out of it.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by Caligulette

I hate Saturdays. I hate them hate them hate them.

BAY CITY ROLLERS & ANN MARGERET SATURDAY NIGHT @ Yahoo! Video

[Dingfod]

Mommy, tissue says I'm shellfish.

[SharonDee]

Damn dogs! Why do I have 'em and why do I love 'em so much?!

So Nikki--she of the red Doggles--was constipated all weekend. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, couldn't poop. This morning the puking started. So I called in to work and off to the vet we went.

As part of the treatment, the vet gave me a bottle of pills and a syringe for pushing them down the dog's throat. Right. The pills are horsey-sized; they ain't coming out of a syringe. The old hide-it-in-cheese trick ain't gonna work for a dog who won't even drink water, let alone eat. So I tried the pry-open-jaws-and-insert method. Nothing doing. These pills are not going down that dog's gullet. They just ain't.

But hey, I can use the cheese trick once she's eating again, right? Yeah! But by then she's BETTER and won't need the pills. Oy, my head.

And also: FUCKITY-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK!



Happier times:

show spoiler

[lisarea]

Oh, no! I hate pilling! I feel your pain.

I did for a while get pretty good at the forcing thing. I'd get the animal (I've done it with dogs and cats) in a headlock, open the mouth, stick the pill as far back on the top of the tongue as possible, then hold the mouth shut and make long downward strokes from their lower jaws down their throat until they swallowed. I've never had much luck with those syringes.

Some of the time, it's near impossible, though. Once, when Sluggo was at the hospital, the nurse brought him back out after treatment, he said hi and was smelling around the place for a while while we talked, then he went KAK! and spit up a pill they'd professionally administered at the top rated animal oncology hospital in the fucking world. So it's not like you're a loser if you suck at it. Everyone sucks at it. We have whole huge institutions of highly trained, world renowned professionals who still cannot consistently outwit a dog who doesn't want to take a pill.

But hey, maybe if you don't have to do it too frequently, you could just walk into your vet's office looking sad and pathetic and get them to do it for you.

[SharonDee]

"KAK!"

Thanks for the laugh, Ms. Pea. I really needed that after this ordeal.

[Sock Puppet]

Yech. The last time I had to try to get a dog to take pills, it was my Mom's golden retriever (actually my kid brother's, but when he married and left home he became hers). That dog was the sweetest critter in the world, and I could stick my whole hand in his mouth without fear, but it was still damned nearly impossible to get him to swallow the pills. The thing with pets is that you can increase your medicine-giving skills, but at the same time they're increasing their medicine-avoidance skills.

Ran into the same thing with my friggin' cockatiel. All I had to do was get him to swallow a tiny syringe of liquid antibiotic. The vet said adding it to the water wouldn't ensure proper dosage. Vet also said, "Oh, it's easy. If you stick it in his face, he'll tend to bite it. Then you just shoot it and you're done." Yeah, right. That didn't even work the first time. By the end of the 2 weeks, I was chasing him down, wrapping him in a cloth, and holding his freakin' little feathered head against the floor and forcing the syringe in his mouth. Stubborn little feathered freak lived about 8 years after that episode, so either it worked or we traumatized each other for 2 weeks for nothing.

[Adam]

I've never had to force a dog or a bird to take medicine, but cats are just as much fun. And by "fun" I mean "may involve wrapping your cat in a towel, holding her head still by the scruff, and shoving a plastic syringe down her throat". Also, for some reason, cat amoxicillan is the same bubble gum flavored shit they give to kids. Pro-tip, veterinary medicine people: cats don't like bubble gum. If you're going to the trouble to flavor it, why the fuck didn't you pick fish or something?

[teasasue]

we put the pull in cheese and they eat it no problem

[wei yau]

We, and by we, I mean the wife, uses vanilla ice cream to get the dog to take her pill. Even then, it doesn't always work and sometimes I'm called in to do the place at back of throat and close mouth thing.

Even that doesn't always work.

Oddly enough, never had a problem with painkillers. Dog loves painkillers.

[Sock Puppet]

Wei's dog likes getting hopped up on goofballs. Why am I not surprised.

[Zehava]

Fuck you, co-worker who works in another department, for telling me how to do my job supporting the application your department developed.

Double fuck you for telling me completely incorrect information is regards to the application I am supporting for your department. It might be a good thing to learn the basics of the application before admonishing my SUCCESSFUL attempts to support it.

[Qingdai]

Hey, also fuck my boss for taking over ordering for 5 fucking months, then yelling at me for ordering too much.
I just followed the paper work that you had 5 fucking months to update, you lame ass mother fucker.

[Adam]

Originally Posted by Zehava

Fuck you, co-worker who works in another department, for telling me how to do my job supporting the application your department developed.

Double fuck you for telling me completely incorrect information is regards to the application I am supporting for your department. It might be a good thing to learn the basics of the application before admonishing my SUCCESSFUL attempts to support it.

Dude. Tell me aboutit.

On that note:

Fuck you, coworker, for your email with assorted ALL CAPS BITCHY PHRASES complaining about how you need ALL THREE service proxies IN ALL ENVIRONMENTS set up TODAY like you REQUESTED THREE WEEKS AGO because you are on a DEADLINE. Here's a pro-tip: you can't count the request as having been open for three weeks when you didn't actually create the services you wanted proxied until last fucking Wednesday, and you didn't get me valid WSDLs for them until yesterday and, when you sent that email I was, in fact, waiting for your fucking tester to let me know it worked in Dev before I moved it anywhere else. I guess I could have done all the work last Week instead of waiting on validation, but then I would have had to REDO ALL MY WORK because you sent me THE WRONG WSDLS, you IDIOT.

Also, I will never understand why, in our stupid ITSM process, it is not acceptable for me to attach a Request to a Change in order to justify it, but it is acceptable for me to attach a written justification in which I just say "The user requested this...see Request #123456".

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

Bethany Lott killed while being proposed to by a lightning strike in Knoxville | News.com.au

We were friends from 7th grade all the way thru HS. I'd been wanting to reconnect.

[teasasue]

Originally Posted by Cynical-Chick

Bethany Lott killed while being proposed to by a lightning strike in Knoxville | News.com.au

We were friends from 7th grade all the way thru HS. I'd been wanting to reconnect.

I am sorry I know that must have sucked

[Dingfod]

Proposed to by a lightning strike? No wonder she was killed, those things dangerously revolting.

Funny aside, I'm sorry for your loss, CC.

[Watser?]

I am checking the libry for books on arms trade and I find 2 books on that and 10 or 20 books on weapons.

Weapons porn!

Books written by perverts who are turned on by guns

[Dingfod]

I'm not even mad about anything today and that pisses me the fuck off.

[lisarea]

YouTube- Sesame Street - I'm Sad Because I'm Happy