New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

[Dingfod]

Oh, you will, one of these days. Eventually there won't be a Thrifty Nickel, Penny Saver, or whatever little advertising rag you can pick up at the corner market, or your local paper classified ads for that matter.

[Ymir's blood]

At least on eBay, it's possible to find bargains when people really misspell the item name. Then the auction doesn't turn up in searches, meaning less competition.

[wildernesse]

OMFG. Who goes house hunting until after 7pm? Please, I just want to come home after my almost an hour commute and put on my jammies and zombify myself with the internet.

[biochemgirl]

I realize my maternity leave comes at a bad time with all our benefits switching over. I can't help that and I certainly didn't time that. But you are HR, isn't your job to be able to help me out and give me some solid info? Hello people, I've been waiting on this merger to go through so I could even start this process so it is not reassuring to me when you look at me dumbfounded and keep referring me to other people. I do not have months to figure out what's going on, I have a matter of a few short weeks so it would really help with my stress level if I could at least get this paperwork going.

[Qingdai]

Sweet fucking Jesus on a rope! I hate that biochemgirl.
If your work won't give you a straight answer, I would suggest calling whatever governmental board that regulates insurance in your state.

Most of the time, when you are forced to switch insurance in your last trimester, you can use whomever you are established with so that you have continuity of care. No insurance company wants to be responsible for a high risk birth, complications because of last minute doctor/benefit switching.

[Ymir's blood]

Originally Posted by Qingdai

Sweet fucking Jesus on a rope! I hate that biochemgirl.

What has biochemgirl ever done to you?!

[Sock Puppet]

Originally Posted by Qingdai

No insurance company wants to be responsible.

[Corona688]

I want to KILL something.

Nobody with severely limited vision should volunteer to set up computer equipment over the telephone! If it takes you 10 minutes to figure out whether a light is glowing or not, you have limited vision. Making me put up with an hour of that shit before letting me talk to anyone else, the anyone in question instantly realizing you can't connect ethernet to a phone modem with a telephone cord, is downright criminal. FUCK!

Also. What the hell kind of town is it where kids go trick-or-treating at ONE IN THE AFTERNOON? (not today. On halloween. duh.) This town, that's what. Ghosts, ghouls, and bumblebee goth people(maybe someone else knows what a red/black raggedy ann wig, cape, and deelyboppers means) all in broad daylight. It ain't natural.

[Ensign Steve]

Originally Posted by Corona688

Ghosts, ghouls, and bumblebee goth people(maybe someone else knows what a red/black raggedy ann wig, cape, and deelyboppers means) all in broad daylight. It ain't natural.

You're damn right that's not natural. I was hanging out at the house at about 7 pm Saturday night wondering where all the kiddies were and then I realized it wasn't even dark out yet. Why the hell did they extend daylight savings by 2 weeks? That was fucking stupid.

[Corona688]

Originally Posted by Ensign Steve

I was hanging out at the house at about 7 pm Saturday night wondering where all the kiddies were and then I realized it wasn't even dark out yet. Why the hell did they extend daylight savings by 2 weeks? That was fucking stupid.

That affects not us, bwahaha. We watch with amusement as the rest of the world fucks up their sleep schedule twice annually. Is this extension something new, or just the thing bush did and the world obeyed for no readily discernible reason?

[Sock Puppet]

Gee, it sure was nice to have a 12-rider van that cost less than $50/month, while it lasted. But somehow, moving the time just a half hour was important enough to split the fucking ridership in half, causing complete upheaval, and doubling the FUCKING cost for EVERYBODY. Fuck you, you stupid worthless pieces of Texas shit. Only two of you thought it was important enough to fuck everything up over, and you don't give a shit about the other TEN. But since you're the Lord High Coordinators, you two can just decide to fuck everything up by fiat. Shove it up your worthless swamprat Bible-belt Texas sheepfucking asses, you pestilent, mentally deficient buckets of rancid goatpus.

[Ensign Steve]

Originally Posted by Corona688

That affects not us, bwahaha. We watch with amusement as the rest of the world fucks up their sleep schedule twice annually. Is this extension something new, or just the thing bush did and the world obeyed for no readily discernible reason?

A few years ago, Bush extended daylight savings by 2 weeks in each direction, saying that it would save energy because people could turn on their lights an hour later in the evening. But essentially it extended summer by a month and people used the extra hour of daylight to run extra errands and do shit in their cars. Whoops.

[lisarea]

My internet is neither up nor is it down. It's just slow and chokey, and you know, I'd almost rather it just went ALL THE WAY DOWN so I would stop trying to do anything on it.

I'm hoping it's just something transient, but I'm afraid there's a chicken bone stuck in the internet again, and it always takes one hundred years to get a guy to come out and go to the neighbors' back yard and extract it.

And THEN, to add insult to injury, I was going to go find some pictures to illustrate how this happens, so I see 'telcobox.net' and figure I can find a picture to use, but there's just this.

Which, actually, that's better than the pictures I was looking for, but in the spirit of the thread, I'm going to pretend I am enraged about that too.

[Ensign Steve]

Pimping your website again, lisa?

[SharonDee]

Who do I have to kill to let people know I'm friggin' unavailable?!

I have lunch at my desk--all the better to read what you people are up to--and I do everything I can to indicate I am not to be disturbed.

• Our Intranet system has a status board where my entry says "At Lunch".
• I have pushed the DND button on my phone.
• I have marked my phone status as "At Lunch".
• I have closed my office door. Not pushed it to; latched it.

So I'm finishing up the mastication part of my break (and about to start the napping part) when I hear a scritchy-scratchy on my door. Thinking someone needed something important from me that couldn't wait, I opened the door to find one of our consultants standing there. She's holding one of the huge project documents. "Are you busy?"

"No," I reply. "I'm only at lunch."

[Ensign Steve]

My boss let himself into my office with his master key this afternoon. I was sitting at my desk watching The Venture Brothers on my computer. I was like, "Yes?" He had the decency to be all like, "OMG! I'm sorry! I thought you were out!" Then he proceeded to put me to work. WTF.

[Shelli]

[BrotherMan]

[Zehava]

Don't fucking call me to tell me that a server is down if you can't tell me WHICH fucking server is down. The micro-strategies business solutions server means absolutely jack shit to me.

Especially don't call me to tell me that a server is down but you don't know the name of the server if you are the admin group RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FUCKING SERVER IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I don't care that you are trying to expedite the recovery of the system, IT'S YOUR FUCKING SYSTEM and I'm going to refer you back to yourself AS PER MY FUCKING DOCUMENTATION.

[Sock Puppet]

Ah, that's so nice of you that you're "trying not to spread anything." You know what would work better? GO THE FUCK HOME SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING TRY. Fuckwit.

[Caligulette]

Compound rant: Thursday at work after being out for a day to take care of the kid, who has the flu thing. My co-orker all but pushes me out of the area we share and says I don't need to do anything there then, but maybe when she has to go downtown to do whatever with the new system then maybe I should cover the department (AND BY THIS I MEAN DO ALL THE STUFF SHE HAS NOT DONE FOR FUCKING DAYS). Subtle, but I am not sick so eff off.

Fine, I'll go do stuff in the business section where I just took over and about which I am perhaps unduly excited. But first, let me open my idiot mouth and say how happy I am that the section is largely free of the sort of stuff I used to find in the "alternative health" section I'd had for five minutes a year ago.

C-O: Oh, some of that is really valuable, though!
Me: Not the stuff about how water has memory, though.
C-O: Oh, but there's so much that goes on with water - like how it moves if you play music to it.
Me: (Why am I still involved in this conversation?) That would be vibrations. Sound waves making little water waves.
C-O: (Looking at me like *I'M* the crazy one) There's just so much we don't know about water!

At this point I pretend to cough, and she looks horrified, and I go to my section, which is right next to the rational science section. As Joesix put it later that evening: We actually have water pretty well dialed in at this point.

Sorry. Here's the swearing part. I AM NOW FUCKING SICK. My whole effing body feels like it's supposed to do that muscle/bone/whatever "cracking" thing but it does not, it just goddamn hurts and is fucking annoying because I don't fucking want fucking to fucking miss another fucking day of fucking work. I fucking got a fucking flu shot. But this is not the Fucking Flu, this is the Swinish Flu, so my vaccine is worth fuckall.

O AND: I usually run low, so my fever of 99.2 looks like nothing. And for all the fucking dog lovers around here, no one can make the connection to "That's like 101 in people temperature." AND that reminds me of all the goddamned Wag More bumper fucking stickers around here - good fucking GAWD there are more fucking doggie day cares here than ones for kids. Fucking priorities, Progressive fucking Portland!

[lisarea]

A big long time ago, I was at a bar with some friends, and this one guy and I got into this loud drunken discussion of memory, like whether it required consciousness or not, and whether physical imprints were memories and stuff like that.

The topic started to die down a little, and another guy there, in an apparent attempt at a Crazy Show encore, said, "What do you guys think about time?"

We both looked at him and said, almost as though we'd rehearsed it, "IT SUCKS!"

Oh, and to comply with thread requirements, I submit the grievance that I am hungry but I can't think of anything I feel like eating, and the swears of front bottom and underpants.

[Qingdai]

Roof fucking leaking! Over my bed! Husband seems to think it's not an emergency.

Like a collapsing ceiling and light fixture isn't an emergency?!?!

[lisarea]

YouTube- Emergency

[Caligulette]

Originally Posted by lisarea

front bottom ....

I had managed for fucken forget about that!