New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

[Janet]

Yesterday, administration at the library announced lay-offs and the creation of a new administrator position. I'm amazed they can hold up the big brains that came up with that timing. For an additional touch of brilliance, the job description is clearly all the shit from their own jobs they don't want to do anymore. Nice move, Fuckwits!

[Stormlight]

Yes, I know. Yeah, yeah, the fucking European Union got rid of borders and now we are drowning in foreign rabble. Absolutely, they take all of the jobs because they work for peanuts and they don't even speak the language. Damn foreigners!

Just one tiny little thing that's been bugging me: you know where you are, right? I mean, you know you're in Luxembourg? You also remember that you're German? Living in Germany but working here? Not speaking our language? You do? Oh that's alright then.

Racist fuck.

[Ymir's blood]

Throw him to the boars!

[Janet]

I am the president of my union local and I hate to see any of my members laid off. I am sad and frustrated that people are losing their jobs and I can't stop it. But posting a self-serving pile of shit on your Facebook about how much harder you work than the librarians and how much more deserving of your job and how it would have been irresponsible for your to get your MLS is making it fucking hard to keep taking your side, you ass. Entitled and bone-idle is not a good combination and, frankly, you don't deserve to keep your job more than the people who are keeping theirs.

Also, I don't care if the patrons are uninformed enough to call you a librarian, you're not one. If you were you would have gone to the state unemployment site your damn self and not expected me to look up how much money you'd get.

[slimshady2357]

Originally Posted by Stormlight

Yes, I know. Yeah, yeah, the fucking European Union got rid of borders and now we are drowning in foreign rabble. Absolutely, they take all of the jobs because they work for peanuts and they don't even speak the language. Damn foreigners!

Just one tiny little thing that's been bugging me: you know where you are, right? I mean, you know you're in Luxembourg? You also remember that you're German? Living in Germany but working here? Not speaking our language? You do? Oh that's alright then.

Racist fuck.

In a semi-related line:

You're just a racist, you fucking racist. Don't sit there and whine how all the immigrants are stealing your jobs to me dipshit, because I'm a fucking immigrant. I know you're a racist pile of bile because when I remind you of that, you just say 'yeah, but I don't mean you'. No of course not, because I'm white and really, you just don't like certain immigrants you racist scum bag.

Oh and I not only took one of your jerbs, I took one of you wimmin' too! HA! Fucker!

[Vivisectus]

No! No I will NOT sit in the same room with you as you endlessly watch those moronic shows where feeble-minded morons engage in the competitive regurgitation of middle-of-the-road music. This giant karaoke competition has NOTHING to do with talent, it is merely a contest to see just how well people can repeat what has already been done millions of times. It is the very antithesis of creativity: it is like watching competitive painting-by-numbers.

And the worst thing, you, daughters that I tried to raise so carefully to think for yourself, to be your own woman, you sit there and you discuss the luke-warm vomit that these so-called judges keep on spouting! As if any of it makes sense! As if it has ONE jot to do with music! Can you not see they are laughing at you for moronically listening to these meaningless phrases and pretending they carry any meaning?

And you Mrs Sectus, you Judas? Could you tell they really put their heart and soul into that performance, you base traitoress? COULD YOU NOW?? HOW INCREDIBLY FUCKING INTERESTING! I AM ALL A-FUCKING TINGLE WITH EXCITEMENT ABOUT THAT! DID SHE CRY? HOW FUCKING NOVEL!!! SUCH EXCITING FUCKING DRAMA!!!

So to answer your question truthfully: I would rather slurp stale diarrhoea from the rim of Satans floppy-sphinctered anus, and I am now going upstairs to seethe in bitter resentment.

[lisarea]

I know, right? AND RIGHT WHEN JERSEY SHORE IS ON TOO!

[livius drusus]

Originally Posted by Vivisectus

it is like watching competitive painting-by-numbers.

I'd watch the shit out of that show.

[Ymir's blood]

it is merely a contest to see just how well people can repeat what has already been done millions of times. It is the very antithesis of creativity: it is like watching competitive painting-by-numbers.

So... the Internet then?

[Watser?]

That was quality ranting

[Dingfod]

Originally Posted by wei yau

Holy fuck, I hate you. So fucking much. And most of all I hate how there is fuck all I can do about it besides put up with it and bitch when you're not around.

Just 'cause you feel fucking threatened does not mean you get to shit all over a job applicant.

Your "two cents" is worthless. Every reason you gave or not liking the candidate was weak, groundless and utterly without merit. And that last one? "He's only been looking for work for a few week." WTF? How is that even fucking relevant?

You bitch about not getting your way, yet you're second only to the head of the group in getting your way. Second, motherfucker. Deal with it. Eventually, people are gonna get tired of stroking your ego, eventually people are going to get tired of reminding you not to overstep boundaries, eventually people are going to get tired of you not appreciating just how fucking good you have it.

Do you even understand? Eventually people are going to get tired of you.

And on that fucking day, I'm gonna laugh as I piss on your emptied desk.

My curses for this post: Got none left.

Originally Posted by freemonkey

You are a bully. And a moron. You're a selfish, non-sympathetic, immature, greedy fucking bastard. I know quite a bit more about you than you think I do, and I know you are lying.... a lot. And I'm pretty sure you are projecting your own guilt, shame and perceived inadequacies onto me when you talk to me like this. But if it makes you feel better about yourself... well, whatever.

That you are simultaneously attaching certain stereotypical traits to me tells me that you need to turn the channel on your TV, turn off Rush and read a book written by someone other than Ann Coulter or Glenn Beck.

Now, I have a dilemma: I don't like to wish bad luck on anyone, but I kind of hope you someday get to see, first hand, what your kind of thinking accomplishes. On the other hand, you getting to see that would mean living in hell.

Originally Posted by Stormlight

So, dear CEO, you needed my help to get to your office this morning because you don't know how to operate the elevator? Because you normally use your own elevator and you just have to stick in your key and it gets you to your office. And you forgot your key. Right, I get it. Let me help you PRESS THE FUCKING BUTTON WITH THE NUMBER 3 ON IT IN THE ELEVATOR, YOU FIRST CLASS MORON.

You don't know how to operate a standard elevator? Seriously? You're in your fifties and you don't know how an elevator works? You're CEO of this place for a goodly 20 years and you've never taken the elevator alone?

Fucking hell.

Originally Posted by Sock Puppet

Tell you what. Go ahead and wrap that willful ignorance and childish self-entitlement as tightly around you as you want while you stick your tongue as deep up Lou Dobbs' asshole as it will go. And in every other situation, feel free to continue not to have the slightest fucking hint of a filter between your mouth and your decrepit, excrement-ridden brain. But while you're in a business meeting with me, keep your xenophobic horseshit comments to yourself. That's a good little bigot. Now fuck right off, you worthless pigfucking cunt.

For just a moment, I thought this was the Insult the Poster Before You thread.

[One for Sorrow]

lol parking ticket reprise.

My license plate was stolen in October 2007 and I reported it stolen to the DMV. In December 2007 and February 2008, the asshat who stole my plate parked illegally around campus and got a couple parking tickets. UNC placed a stop on my record, not allowing me to register for classes my last semester, until the tickets were paid. I sent them the print out from the DMV showing when I had reported my plate stolen, and got an e-mail back from them saying, "Oh okay I see what happened there. I'll remove the charges." The stop was removed, but was back the next day. I called, and it was removed again, and I was finally able to register for the few shitty classes that were left (which, of course, didn't mesh with my work schedule at all).

But a few weeks before graduation, I got sent a nasty letter saying that I needed to pay the parking tickets or I would not receive my diploma, and would not be able to get any transcripts. I sent them all my documentation from the DMV and e-mail correspondence I've had with them again, but never got any acknowledgement. And I thought, keep the fucking diploma, it's not worth the paper it's printed on, anyway. I knew eventually I would have to deal with them to get my transcripts, but I had no current plans to go back to school, so I put it on the back burner.

Anyway, a year or so ago they sent a debt collection agency after me. I sent them all the documentation I had, and they dismissed it.

And yesterday, I received another letter from UNC Public Safety, demanding their $65 or they would take it out of my state tax refund.

Oh, les incompetents at UNC, do we really need to go through this again? It's been 4 1/2 years of this shit. To contest this, apparently I have to request a hearing. After all this headache, I have no intention of letting them take money from me that I don't owe. UNC's parking situation can be pretty shitty, and I was late to class so many times because free lots filled up quickly and I'd end up parking in a paid lot far from my class just so I wouldn't get a parking ticket. I never earned any parking tickets there, so I am not going to pay any parking tickets. I guess a hearing it is, then. Maybe I can finally get this cleared up once and for all.

And while you're at it, give me my fucking diploma. I think I have the closet space for it now.

[SR71]

I can not help but laugh that the stolen plate was ticketed for parking violations rather than for being stolen. Yay law enforcement.

[freemonkey]

Gawd-that-I-don't-believe-in, you are so fucking stupid. Reciting the Pledge of Allegiance has NOT been banned from from schools. It is NOT a law that you can't say "under God". It's NOT "the muslims fault we can't pray in public schools anymore". Non-Christians are NOT "weirdos" any more than Christians are. The CHRISTIANITY that you say this country was built on was NOT Catholicism, those Christians hated your kind. And just because I spend money that has "In God We Trust" on it does not mean I must believe it.

[freemonkey]

holy fucking fucksticks... after I tell you what's been going on right next to my property the last week, what's in the future here and how stressful and difficult it's been for me and how it's likely to cost me money I don't have to get some semblance of what was lost, you suggest I sue a fucking billionaire lawyer for digging up his own property and cutting down his own trees for my loss of business because I can't do a $40 photo shoot for you this week? What the fuck....? Are you really that selfish?

[ChuckF]

Another Friday, another ISO quality group meeting, another morning of senses-deadening boredom punctuated by acute manifestations of chronic political dysfunction. This entire process is a clusterfuck because it is going on in the context of an ongoing power struggle between two managers. In the last reorg, Manager #1 received a windfall of supervisory authority at the expense of Manager #2. Manager #2 set out to rebuild his empire by using what was left of his authority to set up a quality management system within which Manager #1 and all subordinates will have to operate, after it is implemented. Obviously, Manager #1 is doing everything possible to sabotage implementation, thus retaining the organizational power and discrediting Manager #2 in the process. So Manager #1 will pretend to be stupid and use new processes incorrectly, and then present misuse and consequent dysfunction as evidence that the processes are deficient. And of course Manager #1 is always too busy to attend the meeting, or stay for the entire time. There is enough commitment to get the ISO certification that it will go through eventually, and I expect Manager #1 to come fully on board once it reaches the tipping point where obstructionism is obvious to the outside and becomes politically costly.

Anyway, Manager #2 has no idea how to deal with this, and keeps trying to incorporate the fix into the quality system. Which is a dumb way to do it, and ultimately undermines the system itself. But as a result, everyone in the goddamn ISO group has to sit through these meetings and interpret the very thinly-veiled subtext, and then go develop procedures based on it.

Fortunately I am not the most affected, because I am busy writing a white paper that will be published under Manager #2's name.

[BrotherMan]

YAY ISO!

[Ensign Steve]

Sincerely, I loved ISO with all my heart because it annoyed people so much that it made them absolutely hilarious work with. I envy you that, Chuck.

[ceptimus]

I was involved in writing the quality standards of how software would be backed up, for one company I worked for ages ago. We were being audited for some quality standard that came before the ISO9000 one. I think it was BS5750.

I read the rules carefully and found that we could operate however we wished. All we had to do was show that we rigidly stuck to those methods. So I wrote that all the software would be copied onto floppy disks, and that those floppy disks would then be stored on a table. I specified that there wouldn't be any index and that people would just have to search through all the disks to find what they were looking for. That was fine for the purposes of the quality audit and certificate!

The accountant of the firm was jealous. He had written some super-detailed description of how he would keep all his receipts. This was a pain to operate and caused him loads of extra work whenever a quality audit was made. After seeing how easy it was for the software department to pass its audit, he said that he wished he'd written that all the receipts would just be thrown into a filing cabinet.

[Zehava]

Fuck.

I just poured some worcestershire sauce in my coffee. Guess that's what I get for starting to brine my pork chops while making coffee.

[wildernesse]

Please no more fb status updates about how you spanked your children today.

The mom group may aggravate me sometimes, but at least I don't have to hear about them hitting their children.

[lisarea]

JESUS FUCKING SHIT, YOU KNOBS.

DEN_K9K_email1_v1_02.jpg

Anyone else see the problem with this? The fact that they're sending us an invitation to bring Zsa Zsa to Denver, where "any dog that is an American Pit Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier, or any dog displaying the majority of physical traits of any one (1) or more of the above breeds, or any dog exhibiting those distinguishing characteristics which substantially conform to the standards established by the American Kennel Club or United Kennel Club for any of the above breeds" can be confiscated by animal control and then killed for the crime of being in Denver.

Those fucking fucks.

[freemonkey]

Originally Posted by lisarea

The fact that they're sending us an invitation to bring Zsa Zsa to Denver, where "any dog that is an American Pit Bull Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, Staffordshire Bull Terrier, or any dog displaying the majority of physical traits of any one (1) or more of the above breeds, or any dog exhibiting those distinguishing characteristics which substantially conform to the standards established by the American Kennel Club or United Kennel Club for any of the above breeds" can be confiscated by animal control and then killed for the crime of being in Denver.

Those fucking fucks.

Maybe you can organize a shitload of owners of those kinds of dogs to come to the park that day with adorable photos of their dogs attached to otherwise empty leashes.

[ChuckF]

Originally Posted by ChuckF

Another Friday, another ISO quality group meeting, another morning of senses-deadening boredom punctuated by acute manifestations of chronic political dysfunction.

Haha remember all my nonsense about managers #1 and #2? Manager #1 rolled in to a one-hour meeting thirty minutes late today, and spent the rest of the time shitting all over manager #2's admittedly bad proposal. That was fun! Probably the worst (and by that I mean most annoying) part is the constant false apology. ACTUAL QUOTE THAT I WROTE DOWN: "I'm sorry to say thi-, I mean, that's ridiculous - I'm sorry to use that word, to say that it is ridiculous, but that is ridiculous. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

[freemonkey]

Oh, now you have gone too far, asshole. Now I should leave the country, move to Russia since I don't believe in God and since I don't wear patriotism like a big fucking flag pin? I'm what? I'm a poor excuse for an American? Is that what Jesus told you? Keep calling me names moron - you know other people can see you, right?