New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

[Anastasia Beaverhausen]

:

[Doctor X]

Just a FAIL troll showing his FAIL.

--J.D.

[Gonzo]

venting here:

[Sidhe]

Dreary little ass licking mushrooms are depressingly robbing humanity of any sense of worth. And then imagining that they are somehow better people because of their disease?

How does that work?

[Sock Puppet]

Maybe, if you're uncertain on the question, instead of interrupting me to tell my interlocutor what the answer MIGHT be, you could SHUT THE FUCK UP while I actually, you know, answer the fucking question.

Oh, and to the other person walking into my cube to talk to the person on the other side, TWICE in one day, while I was sitting right there: Your comment that you keep thinking my cube is yours would be a more likely explanation (well, I think that's what you meant it as, idiotic as that would be) if I weren't sitting in the goddamned cube when you did it, and then proceeded to have your conversation anyway. The second time, with conspiratorial whispers? What the FUCK? The next time I'll just pitch you over the wall so you can have your discussion more intimately.

[Vivisectus]

Ohhh there is this awful COW that does that to me whenever I work in the office! She stands right behind me and has a conversation with my neighbor in the kind of whisper that makes it sound like they are spreading the most awful gossip about someone!

[Pyrrho]

Shit, where I work, they don't even bother to whisper. They talk at the top of their motherfucking lungs and say stupid shit like, "WE'RE NOT BOTHERING YOU ARE WE PYRRHO HA HA HA"

[Doctor X]

Why do I bother arguing with creatards?

--J.D.

[Crumb]

You are an evotard?

[SharonDee]

What the fuck, gmail?! You took it upon yourself to change my Meetup emails to Important, using some algorithm I could never hope to understand. I change them back to the lower dungeon of Get To It Later, so ... okay.

And now I'm going through my Spam folder and I find an email that not only has its own filter specifying the Subscription label--which you got right; gold star--but also specified fucking IMPORTANT!

How the fucking-FUCK did you decide that Important Subscription should land in fucking SPAM?! I opened that email and looked through it; nothing in the content changed to indicate spam so why, why, WHY, WHY FUCKING WHY?!!!

[Angakuk]

Why do people who choose to rely on technology, to do things that they are perfectly capable of doing themselves, complain when the technology fails to do the task as well as they could have done it themselves, without the technological assistance?

[Clutch Munny]

It's not a four-way stop, dumbass. It's a two-way stop, crossing a highway. You're turning left, I'm going straight; it doesn't fucking matter that you got there first. So don't wave your arms and look outraged when I go through, unless that's fucking semaphor for "I don't understand traffic law, but I feel entitled anyhow."

[Qingdai]

Dumbass wanna be ganster kids in the park, yeah hassling women is a great way to get to know them.

Next time I even see you in the neighborhood calling the police. It's not like I can't hear your dumb selves threatening kids walking by.

[Pyrrho]

T'was a good day today because I am alive and well and ambulatory.

Plus I didn't kill anybody, despite fleeting imaginings of taking a door off its hinges and swatting people flat with it.

I'm ok now.

Seriously. Really.

Eleventy.

[Janet]

Fucking substitute librarian decided that despite the fact that we don't do telephone reference anymore and we were NEVER supposed to transfer patrons to librarians at other desks, she was going to transfer calls from one of our crazy regular patrons to me at the Nonfiction desk. Her excuse is she "forgot" we were supposed to screen calls. Of course he's been calling here for over a decade and has an extremely distinctive voice, so any claim that she thought it was a genuine personal or professional call for me is so much bullshit.

GAAAAAHHHH!

[Doctor X]

Accidentally give the nutjob her home phone number.

--J.D.

[Clutch Munny]

No, I don't want to buy your single-speed fixie bike on Ebay, even though it weighs twelve pounds and has pretty blue rims. And I don't want to buy yours either. Nor yours, nor yours, nor yours. In fact, I vaguely recall telling all three hundred thousand of you back in 2008 that fixies are a stupid fucking idea and an obvious fashion statement. So now that you rode that thing for half of one summer and garaged it for the last two years, please just give it away to your local free bike depot, and stop polluting the Ebay listings with your useless velohipsterness.

[ChuckF]

Originally Posted by Clutch Munny

No, I don't want to buy your single-speed fixie bike on Ebay, even though it weighs twelve pounds and has pretty blue rims. And I don't want to buy yours either. Nor yours, nor yours, nor yours. In fact, I vaguely recall telling all three hundred thousand of you back in 2008 that fixies are a stupid fucking idea and an obvious fashion statement. So now that you rode that thing for half of one summer and garaged it for the last two years, please just give it away to your local free bike depot, and stop polluting the Ebay listings with your useless velohipsterness.

[lisarea]

OK, well, so. There was a time like about 15 years ago or so when it occurred to me that it'd be nice to have a dumb bike as an alternative to my regular bike. Just something really light and simple and low maintenance that I could just hop on for very short errands and stuff. I even went so far as to start mentally and in a couple of cases physically gathering parts for it.

I never actually completed the project, but I came --> <-- this close to making a fixie before fixies were cool.

Yet more evidence that the whole hipster culture is based upon copying poor old Lisa Pea in order to make me look stupid for just doing the regular shit I always did.

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by lisarea

... is based upon copying poor old Lisa Pea in order to make me look stupid for just doing the regular shit I always did.

Definition of the entire internet, right there

[Clutch Munny]

Originally Posted by lisarea

OK, well, so. There was a time like about 15 years ago or so when it occurred to me that it'd be nice to have a dumb bike as an alternative to my regular bike. Just something really light and simple and low maintenance that I could just hop on for very short errands and stuff. I even went so far as to start mentally and in a couple of cases physically gathering parts for it.

I never actually completed the project, but I came --> <-- this close to making a fixie before fixies were cool.

Single-speed, or a fixie? (I know, you said fixie. But maybe you didn't mean it.)

[ChuckF]

She meant fixie. I mean, fixie is just a hipster word for penny-farthing, right?

[livius drusus]

[Jerome]

I still don't get this thread.

Would someone kind help a brother out.

[lisarea]

No, I meant it. I never got much past the thinking about it stage, but my ideal end result would have been a fixie. The goal was basically to have a bike the Flintstones might have had, so a one speed would have been way too fancy.

Hypothetically, though, I might have compromised on a single speed because it probably would have been easier to cobble together. But then, yeah, that's a big compromise to make when my whole point was to have the dumbest of possible bikes; so why even bother? I could achieve the same result by just using the bike I already had and not switching gears. It defeats the whole purpose! But then again, you know, why put some extraordinary amount of effort into building a bicycle that will serve only as a minor convenience in very specific situations?

I dunno. This is why I don't get a lot of things done, because I think about them too much before I start.

Stop making me relive the emotional turmoil of thinking about this bike stuff!