New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity!

[freemonkey]

It must be your local office, TLR. I never have trouble with FedEx. They automatically leave stuff for me unless the sender requires a signature. If they can't leave the package, they leave a note telling me I can arrange to pick it up at their facility (about 30 minutes away).

[ceptimus]

I've left notes taped to the door (with my signature) saying 'If you need a signature, please take this note'. My house has a porch that keeps parcels dry and (mostly) out of sight.

The delivery companies need to come up with a policy and method to deal with home deliveries when people are out.

I would be quite prepared to buy some kind of lockable box fastened to my wall that parcels could be left in - the delivery company would put the parcel in the box, close the lid and that would dispense some kind of token for them to take away (or maybe just display an encoded number). The token, or number, would give a unique id number for the box and a time and date of delivery.

When I got home, I'd use my key to open the box and retrieve my parcel (this would then make the box available to receive future parcels). Households that often receive several parcels per day would need more than one box.

Why doesn't a system like this exist (or if it does exist why haven't I heard of it)? Of course, it's no good developing such a system unless the parcel delivery companies are aware of it and prepared to use it.

In fact, it's the parcel delivery companies that should be developing and marketing such systems. They could make a fortune, and I'm not even charging them for the idea!

[JoeP]

Originally Posted by ceptimus

They could make a fortune, and I'm not even charging them for the idea!

They won't take you fucking seriously unless you try to charge for the idea.

eta: Profanity inserted for thread quota.

[Janet]

UPS always leaves parcels for me and he hides it and puts it in a plastic bag when it's wet out. Then he tells me on the note where he hid it, like Behind the Garage or Next to Bush.

I had no problems at all with UPS until they decided to start leaving parcels for Consumers Energy at my house. They have the same address as me, but on East Court Street, not West. The first time I was nice and drove it over to Consumers. The second time I called UPS to pick it back up, left on vacation and found it still there when I got back. I was not at all pleasant when I had to call them again and pointed out, quite clearly, that I did not appreciate the fact that they had signaled to the entire neighborhood that I was out of town. I also told them that if it ever happened again I would call no one to fix it and throw it in the trash. They haven't done it again.

[Angakuk]

I came out of a funeral one time and found a package from UPS in my car (small town in North Dakota where no one locked their car doors). Turned out the delivery guy, upon finding no one home, had inquired at the Post Office (imagine that!) if they knew where I might be. The post master mentioned the funeral and described my car (it was the only one in town that had an Arizona license plate). One of the advantages (or disadvantages) of life in a small town, everyone knows your business.

It is also rather common for UPS to leave a package addressed to me at the church, if he is making deliveries in that area (and vice versa). This is usually (though not always) to my benefit. FedEx never does anything of the sort.

[Crumb]

It is also rather common for UPS to leave a package addressed to me at the church, if he is making deliveries in that area (and vice versa). This is usually (though not always) to my benefit.

Right. It must not be to your benefit when they deliver your order from Sex Toys R Us to the church, am I right?

[Ensign Steve]

[Dingfod]

Fedex is almost 100% contract delivery agents, so policies can vary widely. UPS is all company, meaning consistent policy everywhere. USPS, same.

[Dingfod]

Originally Posted by Angakuk

I came out of a funeral one time and found a package from UPS in my car (small town in North Dakota where no one locked their car doors).

Better than finding a pipe-shaped one strapped to your exhaust pipe.

Out in small-town Colorado, the UPS driver would deliver packages to the Blue Mountain Cafe if you were not home, leaving you a sticky note telling you where you could retrieve them.

[mulebear]

Fuck Piss Shit Goddam Motherfucking Cock Sucking Son Of A Bitch Jesus Jumping On A Pogo Stick With A Spiked Lead Dildo Up His Ass



[double] [/double]

My oldest Sister, the one that pretty much helped to raise all of the rest of us siblings, fell and broke her leg so badly that they had to perform surgery this morning.

[Pyrrho]

Oh, man. I am sorry to read that.

[S.Vashti]

Our mother (who is 75) came up this weekend for a visit, and stated with confidence, "It's shitty getting old."

[mulebear]

I just spoke with my Sister. Though she is in a lot of pain, she is doing better. We don't know how long they will keep her in the hospital.

Just found out a good friend's 4 year old was involved in a really bad car accident. He was in the hospital for a few days, but he is doing much better and may get to come home in the next couple of days.

[Crumb]

Enough with the "Justin Beiber is a girl" jokes internets! It just isn't funny.

[Ymir's blood]

Enough with the "Justin Beiber" internets! It just isn't interesting.

[lisarea]

Am I still allowed to like this lady who looks like Justin Bieber?

YouTube - ‪"Love The Way You Lie" ...

[Ymir's blood]

I don't know what 'Justin Bieber' looks like.

[lisarea]

U MEK ME ANGRY MR. BLOOD JUSTIN BIEBER LOOKS LIKE THAT LADY I ALREADY TOLD YOU.

There have always been soft-featured young bubblegum pop singers, because newly adolescent girls tend to be attracted to newly adolescent boys, who don't have a lot of obvious secondary male sexual characteristics yet. They have always "looked like girls" because they are not finished with puberty yet.

I don't get what's weird about that. Are 10 year old girls supposed to be having their first celebrity crushes on like Javier Bardem or something?

[Ymir's blood]

I don't know what 'Javier Bardem' looks like

[Ensign Steve]

Neither do I, but now I'm imaging the actor that plays Khal Drogo in Game of Thrones and giggling my ass off.

[Ymir's blood]

Yeah, well I'm imagining Gabby Hayes, so there!

[Ensign Steve]

I don't know what 'Gabby Hayes' looks like.

[Pyrrho]

Originally Posted by Ensign Steve

I don't know what 'Gabby Hayes' looks like.

Now you probably wish you still didn't know.

[lisarea]

I'm just picturing Gabourey Sidibe.

[Ymir's blood]

Tommy Lasorda!