New And Improved Rant Thread, now with 50% more profanity! - Page 109

Qingdai · #**2701** 04-27-2011, 12:54 AM

Shit, you had it easy, I got bubbles floating out of my dvd drive and clowns laughing, last virus.

And I lived in the street in a box! A BOX!

Ymir's blood · #**2702** 04-27-2011, 01:16 AM

Oh, sorry. I think that was my fault.

Doctor X · #**2703** 04-27-2011, 11:02 AM

I really do not give a flying fuck--which, given my cancellation of my ACME account, proves more difficult than usual--if you, in the process of FAILing to render a service such as power my home, provide me with access to that both highly artistic and possibly highly illegal French Sedimentary Rock Porn, not submit an order entirely unlike what I ordered--such as delivering 100 single DVD cases as opposed to 10 double DVD cases--then demonstrate a failure to grasp the subtle difference between "100," "10," "single," and "double"--all after sending me to 1) the Philippines, 2) India, 3) Arizona-- :shudder:

--that you "understand I am upset."

--J.D.

Pyrrho · #**2704** 04-30-2011, 05:20 PM

Sum and substance of a "creative brief" uttered by our VP at a meeting to discuss an upcoming project:

"Make it pretty and make it cheap."

Kind of like a $20 whore then, right?

Megatron · #**2705** 05-01-2011, 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lisarea

We will know we have achieved technological singularity when computer viruses finally become as powerful as people have believed they are since about 1995.

Skynet has become self-aware.

curses · #**2706** 05-02-2011, 07:03 PM

Fuck you comcast why does your service suck so badly? I just want to finish updating my website and you've been a bit shit for two weeks now. I wish I had a non-DSL/dialup alternative.

Pyrrho · #**2707** 05-03-2011, 03:34 AM

I am done protecting fuckwits from the consequences of their behavior.

That is all.

freemonkey · #**2708** 05-03-2011, 04:33 AM

It is an Art Gallery people, not a fucking church basement Craft Fair. Get that crap outta here!

Demimonde · #**2709** 05-03-2011, 02:27 PM

[Thanks] for the comic sans

That's like Hilter, right?

Ensign Steve · #**2710** 05-04-2011, 05:11 PM

I know I am not the only student who works at this university. I also know I am not the only employee to takes classes at this university. And I for damn sure know I am not the only member of this university who is married to another member of this university.

So! Parking services and card services and every other type of non-service-giving service department in this university... How about instead of trying to decide whether to treat me like a student or a staff member or a dependent, why don't you try treating me like a fucking human being and help me out just a leetle bit? Okay? Thanks.

Ymir's blood · #**2711** 05-04-2011, 05:41 PM

Quote:

why don't you try treating me like a fucking human being

Why set your sights so low? Demand that they treat you like a living GOD!!!1 :muahaha:

PS I will be in town this weekend.

Ensign Steve · #**2712** 05-04-2011, 05:53 PM

Ymir's blood · #**2713** 05-05-2011, 09:04 PM

I am in town right now.

Sock Puppet · #**2714** 05-05-2011, 09:05 PM

Well, that's certainly something to rant about. Friggin' Georgia.

Watser? · #**2715** 05-05-2011, 10:19 PM

I hear Abchazia is even worse!

Ensign Steve · #**2716** 05-06-2011, 02:40 PM

What are we doing this weekend besides not studying for finals?

Ymir's blood · #**2717** 05-07-2011, 01:15 AM

I don't think there are any plans, as of yet. curses needs to do some photos for class, but that's it.

Pyrrho · #**2718** 05-07-2011, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyrrho

In which I reveal the Vision Statement as written by The Vision Statement Task Force. It is, and I shit you not:

UPDATE: The vision statement has been declared "not visionary enough," by executive management.

Back to the scrivening board. Foolscap is on order.

Pyrrho · #**2719** 05-07-2011, 03:49 PM

In case anybody needs this...courtesy of Roger Ebert, who keeps posting it to Facebook, where the moderators keep deleting it:

freemonkey · #**2720** 05-11-2011, 03:35 AM

Lawn mower???!!! More like a lawn flattener!! It looks like there are stupid little mohawk haircuts all over the yard. I'd have better luck with fucking scissors.

Qingdai · #**2721** 05-11-2011, 04:51 AM

I told you not to use my push mower!

I just realized that in order to work this summer, I'd have to hire a special need ready babysitter to the tune of $15 an hour. Fuck that, I only earn $16.50 an hour, plus I also realized I haven't gotten a cost of living raise since before 2004.
They can value my ass elsewhere, this contract no-benefit having labor is staying the fuck home this summer, with my kid.

wildernesse · #**2722** 05-11-2011, 05:34 AM

Dear sweetie, if you don't want me to disturb your skype call by bizarrely slinking around the edge of the room, then you should tell me beforehand that you aren't using video. Because I'm not taking the chance that the first impression someone has of me is in my ha-ha-I'm-waiting-to-buy-maternity-pj's-until-I-split-the-seams-in-these stage.

Pyrrho · #**2723** 05-11-2011, 12:44 PM

NO, replacing the equivalent of this

with this

is NOT "more appropriate", even if you did find it on the Internet.

Doctor X · #**2724** 05-11-2011, 01:10 PM

But the bronchioles are not green and blue.

What?

--J.D.

Ensign Steve · #**2725** 05-11-2011, 02:37 PM

Since I'm leaving this job in a month, I am now tasked with showing the secretary how to manage the website. Not training, not teaching, just showing her what I do. How involved can it possibly be, right? They watch me do my job all day. All I do is click the mouse around a little bit and type on the keyboard. Any secretary should be able to pick that up in an afternoon. After all, she knows how to use Dreamweaver!