Weird Dream(s)

[lisarea]

I'd gone down to the morgue to pick up a body, as you do. As I'm filling out the forms, the guy at the counter says, "Oh, hang on a second. We don't have the head in yet, but you can pick up the rest of your brother while you're here."

I'm understandably horrified, as this is the first I've heard that my brother died. Also, a backstory on this brother is that some years earlier, he had gotten elective surgery to have his head attached to a snake body. So anyways, the morgue guy comes out and hands me this headless snake body wrapped in brown paper. It was kind of damp, so I opened the package and it was all moldy.

Right then, my brother comes over in his original body and tells me that he had his surgery reversed.

So it was all just a crazy misunderstanding. Like on a sitcom!

[wei yau]

Of course, now I picture a freeze frame of your brother pointing and laughing at you while you hold a moldy headless snake body with a very "put upon" look on your face.

*credits roll and insipid end theme plays*

[wei yau]

Of course, now I picture a freeze frame of your brother pointing and laughing at you while you hold a moldy headless snake body with a very "put upon" look on your face.

*credits roll and insipid end theme plays*

[lisarea]

OMG, my brother and I used to do that freeze frame thing if one of us told an extra-dumb joke! Like on Quincy!

How did you know that?

[wei yau]

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Driving a rental car around an unfamiliar city, stopped and walked between two apartments to look at a nice view, came back and the car was gone. Despite there being no other cars in sight I used the key fob to try to make the car make some noise and identify itself but the fob started making a telephone call and I couldn’t hang up because it was a key fob, not a phone. Someone answered from the rental company.

[Limoncello]

Had a dream with lisarea in it!!!!!!

Now, I don't know what lisarea looks like - but she had long frizzy blonde hair and wore a grey nondescript track suit and sneakers.

You were at the back of the bus.... I sitting in the middle of the bus.... The world was ending within hours and everyone was wailing with panic and freaking out. I had 7 valium pills and thought maybe I should hand them out.

Then my colleague Doug walked down the aisle and I was "sit with me!" "SIT WITH ME" and he said no that he needed to cuddle with lisarea at the back of the bus.

I was so jellly - I wanted him to cuddle with me. I decided to take all 7 valium myself and sleep through the end. I was also angry.

[JoeP]

That's so like lisarea.

[lisarea]

Oh no, I'm sorry! It wasn't me, though, because I have brown (and gray) hair. And I cut off a few more inches of it last night, so it's only about shoulder length now.

I do like cuddling with strangers on buses and that sounds very close to how I dress, though, so that's kind of uncanny.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Originally Posted by Limoncello

The world was ending within hours

Strange Advance - We Run - YouTube

~You're on your own and meet a friend~

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by lisarea

I noticed a plane wing above us, I said, "LOOK!" It crashed to the ground a couple houses away, followed by the plane.

This just popped into my head now, so I checked to see if I'd posted about it.

It was just parts of the engine, but I still get Nostradamus points.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

I was about ten years old and my teddy bear go snatched so I rode my bicycle over to the weird psycho’s house to find it and his kids we 4 and six and the four year old was trying to put the bear out the second floor window for me to catch but weird dad started making noises so the bear disappeared back inside and I snuck in the back door and up the stairs. The bear had had an arm amputated and the stuffing was showing at the seam of the other arm and weird dad was making noises downstairs. The dinner table was in the second floor too in a bedroom and set for four. I climbed out the window with the bear, and dropped and rolled safely. I heard weird dad yelling inside and running down the stairs so I didn’t think I could accelerate my bicycle fast enough to escape so I ran to a neighbour’s house to call the cops and woke up.

And this also belongs in the Brag About Our Imaginary Accomplishments thrad.

[lisarea]

Originally Posted by Kamilah Hauptmann

And this also belongs in the Brag About Our Imaginary Accomplishments thrad.

Do it.

This is an official dare.

[specious_reasons]

I had an anxiety dream that the engineer on call wrote something really insulting to a customer on our public GitHub page. By the time I discovered it, the engineer had removed the comment (so I have no idea what it said) and apologized for having a stressful week, but the damage was done, the customer had seen it and this was going to cause trouble for the team.

Why is this anxiety inducing? I am the senior engineer responsible for our support story, and I think our current on-call engineer had a busy/stressful week, but also I'm on call next, which means I suspect I'll have a busy/stressful week, too.

[JoeP]

Quick, somebody find specious's company's public github page.

[Ensign Steve]

I think I had my very first case of waking sleep paralysis, whatever that shit is called, where your stuff wakes up in the wrong order. Let me splain.

In my dream, I was trying to get my photo taken with a child, like generic anonymous dream niece or friend's kid or whatever. They were on my lap and it was like a photo booth situation at first, except then we were being moved around in this cart on a track, like it was one of those rides that takes your picture. And I've got this kid on my lap and we're like "smile for the camera" but I absolutely couldn't get my eyes open. Somehow I could still see (dream!), but my lids were clamped shut with an amount of force I could not overcome to get them open no matter what. And I wanted them to be open for the picture!

I woke all the way a little bit later and it occurred to me, my eyes were stuck closed because I was asleep. duuurrrrr

[But]

Originally Posted by Ensign Steve

Somehow I could still see (dream!), but my lids were clamped shut with an amount of force I could not overcome to get them open no matter what.

Now move your arms. Pull as hard as you can, and then some. Until you wriggle free and land on the floor. That's the shit.

[Ari]

In the middle of some random dream shenanigans I started having a conversation with someone about how Cops are now wearing little Paw print badges to honor local ‘k9 officer’ who ‘died on duty’ even if it was the cops that killed the dog.

Since this isn’t actually real, it doesn’t really belong in Fuck the police, but it still annoys me, so I’m going to complain about it here!

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

“In which we weird dream imaginary police violence” is a galaxy brain thrad title idea.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

While underwater without breathing apparatus and fine, being chased by a blue whale in a condo that wanted to cook and eat me, I punched him in the nose and yelled at him so he turned into a human and got into a car to leave so I keyed the car as a parting shot.

Apparently a “jazz pole slider” is a food rather than a stripper. Also a song sung by a burlesque punk troupe.

[lisarea]

I've been having this weird nagging grudge all day, like I didn't know why, but it all came back to me when something reminded me what happened last night:

I lived on a 70s sci-fi style spaceship, like on the Star Tracks, with a ton of people including friends and family, and also Vladimir Putin. Putin had no official authority there, but everyone deferred to him.

One of the things he'd do is choose dinner companions, and if he chose you, it was your turn and you had to go. So I'd been chosen once, and it was disgusting. Everyone would have to eat what he had, which in my case was "fish gelatins" and some kind of black paste, and you'd have to eat it and make polite conversation and stuff.

So I'd gotten that out of the way, when I was walking down a hallway with a SUPPOSED friend and we crossed paths with Putin and his people. And Putin nodded at me, meaning he chose me for dinner AGAIN. And I was like, "NO. I ALREADY DID THAT!"

But the friend I was with said, "You know, I was thinking maybe we should take a break, not talk for a while, and kind of go our separate ways, at least for the time being," and then all my other friends basically did the same thing. They all broke up with me because they were afraid of stepping on Putin's toes.

They abandoned me there on that spaceship with Vladimir Putin and his disgusting uncomfortable dinner.

[Ari]

One of my recent crazy dreams involved being part of a space colony on some moon sized asteroids that were being terraformed, unfortunately the terraforming awakened some ancient godzilla sized aliens buried in the the crust. As cybernetically connected space marines, it was our job to track and confront these creatures before they could damage the terraforming systems and eat the populace.

Standing in front of a giant gaping alien maw sounds less horrifying than gelatin fish with Putin, at least we had power armor!

[Limoncello]

Originally Posted by Ari

a space colony on some moon sized asteroids that were being terraformed, unfortunately the terraforming awakened some ancient godzilla sized aliens buried in the the crust. As cybernetically connected space marines, it was our job to track and confront these creatures before they could damage the terraforming systems and eat the populace.

I saw that last night on Hula.

[Ari]

Amusingly it would have made a pretty boring TV show as there was no fighting it was all recon and discussing resource management, as the aliens were smart enough to just not bother attacking if a bunch of space marines were in the way. So beating them to their next target was the goal.

At base our leader discussed giving one of our troops the latest high tech ship because all the newbies were sinking her bandwidth causing her framerate to drop when connecting to her old ship. Each space marine was linked in to a small armada of ships and other devices that were controlled through a neural link, like some sort of real world video game, and just like a videogame, ping and framerate were important. Maybe I’ve been playing too many video games!

As I’m generally aware I’m dreaming, it sometimes gets woven into the narrative. I’m pretty sure sometime in the future we will be able to hijack the brain’s dream network to create a matrix style virtual reality simulation, in the dream it *is* the future, so of course all the characters can connect up to their own virtual dream networks.

[Kamilah Hauptmann]

Originally Posted by Ari

Amusingly it would have made a pretty boring TV show as there was no fighting it was all recon and discussing resource management,

The Phantom Menace