The Official Free Thought Talk Forum and Chat Emporium Songbook

[livius drusus]

The Official Free Thought Talk Forum and Chat Emporium Songbook begins with what became a watershed in the history of song parodies: .

I had been offline a great deal due to circumstances beyond my control, so when a post from me engendered Casa Rosada-like excitement, Livita, the version of the great Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice musical Evita, was born. Since I refuse to even acknowledge the existence of a certain appalling movie starring a certain range-less pop singer, I have made the composer names links to crappy but serviceable versions of the glorious original Broadway cast. You can find all the lyrics to the original songs here.

"Oh What a Circus" by ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed July 17th, 2008:

Oh What a Circus

Oh what a circus oh what a show
Freethought Forum has gone to town
Over the dearth of an admin called livius d
We've all gone crazy
Posting all day and posting all night
Falling over ourselves to get all
Of the smilie codes right

Oh what an admin! That's how to be!
When you're writing your board policies
You probably should steal some from livius d
It's quite an absence
And bad for the in a pretty direct way
It's hard for vm to keep all
of the spammers away

But who is this livius drusus?
Why all this daily relentless countdown?
What kind of mod-ess posted among us?
How can we ever get by without her?

She had her moments, she gave some glares
The best show around was the mob
and the sight of the girly gang thanking themselves
And that's still around now
As soon as we get tired of my trollish pique
We're all gonna see and how
She hasn't posted for weeks!

"Don't Cry for Me Freethought Forum" by livius drusus and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed July 18th, 2008.

Don't Cry for Me Freethought Forum

This won't be easy, you'll think it's lame
When I try to explain how I feel
After all of these months of staccato posts
You won't believe me
You'll think me the ghost of an admin you knew
Who's barely got XXXV
While Crumbles is hot on her heels

I had to mind my bidness, I had to deal
Couldn't spend all those hours posting quips
Looking at the control panel, scrubbing out all the spam
So I went wandering
Puttering around, getting everything done
But nothing amused me at all
I never expected it to

Don't cry for me Freethought Forum
The truth is I never left you
All through my quiet days
My nonexistence
I d at all y'all
Just from a distance

And as for chickens, as for their butts
I had to thank Emma and co.
Though it seemed to the members they were all I cared for
They're just so precious
Not more important than you guys, I swear
But srsly how cute are they?
A thanks click could only be fair

Don't cry for me Freethought Forum
The truth is I never left you
All through my quiet days
My nonexistence
I d at all y'all
Just from a distance

Too much wall of text?
You're not used to hearing me yack and yack
But all you have to do is click username - Ignore
And it's like I'm not back.

"Spammer's Lament" by ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed July 18th, 2008:

Spammer's Lament

I don't expect my new account to last for long
never fool my self that I'll sell NIKE SHOE
Being used to banning I anticipate it
But all the same I haet it - wouldn't you?

So what happens now?
Another C1@L1S in another hall
So what happens now?
BRAND NEW 0NLINE SH0PPING MALL
Where am I going to?
Probably another forum like you always do
Where am I going to?

Time and time again I've said that I've got deals
That you can get Adobe Photoshop
That it's genuine and true
But every time I offer it the admins ban me
I can't seem to get past the
moderation queue

So what happens now?
Another C1@L1S in another hall
So what happens now?
BRAND NEW 0NLINE SH0PPING MALL
Where am I going to?
Probably another forum like you always do
Where am I going to?

Call in three days time and I'll be back I know
Well maybe not for long, but I'll spam on anyhow
I won't recall the names and places of each net location
But that's no HOT TEEN M@STURBATI0N
H3R3 AND N0W!!1!1

So what happens now?
Another C1@L1S in another hall
So what happens now?
Take your avatar off another wall
Where am I going to?
Probably another forum like you always do
Where am I going to?

"And the Lolcats Kept Lol'ing In" by ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed July 19th, 2008:

And the Lolcats Kept Lol'ing In

And the lolcats kept lol'ing in from the intarwebs
Watser? starts a thread with two thousand cat replies
Now you may feel we should stick with some SERIOUS BUSINESS
But that's not the point my friends
When the lolcats keep lol'ing in, you don't say meow
Think of all the posters guaranteed some good thanks now
FF's called the funneh to it, opened up the floor
Never been a forum like the Freethought Forum!



Would you like to try photo manipulation?
Got a kitteh pic in a funny situation?
FF and its lolcats thread can make your dreams come true
Here's all you have to do my friends
Take your pic, add some words - you can photoshop or gimp it
Put it up in the thread and should some 'er click it
You will get a lot of thanks, a line or even two
Name me any place that lol's as much as Freethought Forum!



And the lolcats kept rolling out in all directions
To the smart, to the leet, to the smilie horde of all professions
Now cynics claim the meme is dead, the funneh's gone away
But that's not the point my friends
When the lolcats keep lol'ing out you don't heed rancor
You can tell you've done well by the happy grateful thankers
Feedback only slows things down, comments get in the way
Never been a forum loved as much as Freethought Forum!

"Waltz for and " by livius drusus, ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed in chat on July 20th, 2008:

Waltz for Livita and Chuck

:
Tell me before I log out of your site
Before I say you can all kiss my ass
Forgive my impertinent behavior
But how long do you think
This circle jerk can last?
Tell me before I go start up a new board
There's one thing I never got clear
How can you claim you're our leader
When those who oppose you are ignored or censored or get called insincere?

:
Tell me before you storm off in a huff
Before joining the sad spinoff brigade
How can one admin like me, say,
Alter the jackbooted way some staff behave?
Tell me before I ban you and your high horse
Just what you expect me to do?
I don't care what the angry tards say
I'm not an admin for them
But to give all my worshipful members a multi-frame smiley or two

and :
There is whining ever around, incremental, bliss ninny losers and trolls detrimental

:
So what are the chances of any advances?
I'd say low
Better give in, let the terrorists win
Blame the Jews
and play Halo

:
Watch me as I go find worthier posters
And build my own awesome mod team
Don't think that you'll be invited
We'll steal all your users from this clique and that clique
And leave this oppressive regime!

:
Have fun as you're writing your handbooks and guidelines
At first you'll be deafened with cheers
I'll watch as the fuse is ignited -
An edit turns into the world's greatest problem
From mod revolution to board dissolution
To grudges that last for one hundred years!

and :
There is whining ever around, incremental, bliss ninny losers and trolls detrimental

:
So go, if you're able, round up the unstable
And lei them
Stew in your spite at some tottering site
but not here, dear
Is that clear, dear?

"Sly, lying, abhorred" by ChuckF and Andrew Lloyd Webber, composed December 15th, 2008:

Sly, lying, abhorred

Sly, lying, abhorred
So dumb; an angsty teen?
A weak, pitiful thing
Of meager talents
A cross between some moron in a chatroom and Ayn Rand.

You were just a /b/chan tard
Cussing and sniping
old meme reciting

Sly, lying, ignored
Did you believe in your wildest moments
All this could be yours
That you'd become
The troll to troll them all?

Were there lulz in your eyes
When you logged in that night?
From the cams where you child-stalk
From your proxy detectable
Don't look now, banhammer's about to fall

Sly, lying, ignored
What happens now?
Whom do you goad from here?
For someone brand new to the board
The view is not exactly clear
A shame you did it all in twenty posts

You've got a history now
Nothing can shield you
Now they've revealed you

Bye, lying, abhorred
I hope you come to terms with bantown
So blatant so stupidly
Jejune is not the wisest thing to be

You won't care if they hate you
It's been done before
You'll despair if they ban you
You'll be drained of all energy
All the trolls they've shitcanned would agree.

Sly, lying, abhorred
I've got some flames
But they're the lamest
My story's quite usual -
vocal churl posts cock, gets rapid ban.

I’ll be back in the same place
Wasting admin time
With my sock I’ll be plucky
And one thing I'll say for me: I know how to evade an IP scan.